CHAPTER308
The dress is spectacular as are the shoes he bought with it. Like a good little girl, I don’t attempt any sort of rejection when he brings the boxes in from the car with the sweetest expression on his face. He looks almost boyish and a little excited.
I’m standing in a full-length, dark plum, figure hugging dress, studded with sheer Swarovski crystals across its full length and fuller skirt. My shoulders are exposed from its crisscross bodice style, ending in low cap sleeves off shoulder and my cleavage is almost bursting forth. Lately my bust has started to get a little larger and I’m sure Jake won’t mind one bit. My feet are encased in low heeled satin plum shoes because since I found out I was pregnant he literally refused to let me wear my sexy heels, which is another argument still not done with, and then of course there’s the underwear. Jake’s gone all out bringing me home a complete outfit. Sexy underwear, I am glad to see he at least thinks about sex even if he’s not giving me it.
He’s been very evasive about the dinner plans all day
and now trussed up like a red-carpet movie star I’m starting to wonder why we need to be so formal. Jake’s in a tux
of all things but I don’t remember any mention of any
sort of event or dance. Jake avoids tuxedos like the plague
if he can help it.
* * *
The restaurant is gorgeous, as is the appearance of Sylvana on Giovanni’s arm and Arrick with Sophie in tow looking sweetly cute together; even Leila is with us as we all walk to the pre-booked table near the back of the grand room. I assume this may be related to the Carrero Corporation after all, but it’s just odd that Jake would be so elusive about the details.
This place exudes money, every table delicately set with lily center pieces and crisp white tablecloths under a ceiling of grand chandeliers and fairy light nets. The color scheme is opulent reds and mauves and a lot of gold, with sparkling crystals everywhere. There are tables and tables of richly dressed diners with both an orchestra playing low music and a booth set up for a DJ in another corner. The floor in the middle is a dance floor and there must be some dancing or entertainment after dinner.
The old me would’ve felt so out of her depth in a place like this, even as Jake’s PA, but I walk with my head held high on the arm of the most gorgeous man in here, with the handsome Carrero family and I can’t help but feel proud. I feel like I belong with them and not out of place in the dress Jake chose for me. It isn’t Donna’s style of dress to choose for me, so I’m sure Jake has chosen this himself, which is more than a little sweet. He always had good taste for a man.
When we’re shown to our table, I realize there are more familiar faces from Carrero Corp dotted around. I spot Margo with her husband waving at me. I flush as an inner panic starts to creep up. I swear there’s a red head of hair behind her that could possibly be Wilma. Even if this is a Carrero thing, or some charity event, we’re so far outside of Manhattan that I wouldn’t expect to see them here.
Why are we surrounded by people that shouldn’t be here in the Hamptons?
I glance at Jake and spot veiled nervousness hinting across his face, that he’s so desperately trying to hide, and the way his sculpted body seems a little too rigid in his tux, even for him. Jake is never nervous at events and a sickening lurch connects the dots almost instantly. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a couple trying to usher their way out of sight through the shadows and realize it’s Sarah and Marcus. They’re trying to hide from me, and I freeze.
Oh, my God. Sarah and Marcus? They wouldn’t be at a Carrero event.
Oh shit … Oh shit!
I know what he’s doing. It hits me like a lightning bolt out of the dark with rather painful ferocity. He’s bought me a pretty dress that he chose by himself and assembled everyone in one of the most beautiful restaurants in this town. He’s gathered together people that I know, people that matter to me and matter to him, regardless of the costs. He has my best friend trying to hide before she lets the cat out of the bag and I’m sure if I check the sea of faces, I’ll recognize more and more people.
I catch sight of Daniel moving in from the side under cover of shadow and he slides into a seat beside Margo, throwing her a smile, and I suddenly feel sick and breathless. Daniel most definitely doesn’t show face at corporate things. He never has. He always says it’s not his thing and bores him to tears.
Warning bells are going off inside my head and that flight or fight impulse has my feet itching to head for the nearest exit. I tighten my grip on Jake’s arm for security and a sense of calm. My heart is pounding erratically through my chest, palms clammy, my body turning cold with fear. He covers my hand with his, a grounding sensation that I’m aching for, but I’m still in panic mode and can almost feel the tension radiating from him. That’s why his touch isn’t working right now because Jake’s more scared than I am and he’s transferring it rather than taking mine away. My strong calm and in control Carrero is now adjusting his collar as though it’s choking him and tilting his neck from side to side in a massive show of uncharacteristic nerves.
Fuck!
“Are you okay?” He looks completely terrified as his eyes meet mine. His beautiful gorgeous face looking about fifteen years old and completely out of his depths. I swallow hard, willing him to just stop, stop whatever his head has planned and whatever I think. The last thing I need is for him to look so goddamn out of his depth, making me feel like I’m suffocating.
Don’t hurt him, Emma. Don’t do this to him after everything. Just look at him and breathe. Steady breaths and remember how much you love him.
The fear gripping me holds at his eye contact and I find the inner courage to slowly slide it further down inside of me, gripping with fingernails to keep control. I hold still, trying not to portray my feelings on to my face, in case he sees it, and paste a smile on my mouth, loosening my death grip on his arm.
I can’t ruin this for him, I can’t hurt him again after everything We’ve been through. I just need to pretend I don’t know and pray I don’t freak when he finally gets on one knee.
“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed with all this grandeur.” I smile, maintaining a steady voice with stoic effort and he relaxes a little. I draw on all my old PA Emma abilities to be emotionless, even in the face of extreme pressure. He’s studying me a little too closely, so I stretch up and kiss him quickly, making him kiss me properly and deeply, trying to remove any doubts about what I know. It seems to do the trick and he relaxes a little, all flickers of question smoothing from that beautiful brow and back to just a rather bad case of nerves. I squeeze his arm in a bid to calm him and really, to calm myself … a lot.
Count to ten, breathe. Focus on Jake, on just him and how much he loves you.
When we’re shown to our table Jake suddenly seems listless and his fidgeting demeanor hits full force, moving his glass from hand to hand and back to the table, avoiding eye contact when he has me seated beside him. He tenses and keeps looking out of the huge windows behind us as though checking for something. He picks up the drink they just laid beside him and downs it in one go, impulsively which is never a good sign or a good move on him. His hands raking through that immaculate hair, trying to sit still. He is all over the place and unraveling in front of me; this is not a version of him I have ever known. Jake is always so effortlessly in control publicly, so his behavior is making me even more uptight.
He smiles at me, but I know it’s pasted on and
in-genuine. His eyes flicker to the side until he spots something then excuses himself with a peck on my cheek
in a hurried fashion. I watch as he almost drags Daniel
out of his seat in passing and they disappear through a door near the side exit which takes you further into this grand hotel restaurant. Leaving me alone only makes me a hundred times worse.
My heart is pounding through my chest. The people around me are chatting and smiling my way, even Sylvana is trying to draw me into conversation, but my eyes are scouring the room for Sarah. She’s obviously been told to stay out of sight until the big moment. I have no idea what to do with myself. I can’t even voice my fear because I’m not supposed to know what this is. I can only sit here, curling up the napkin in front of me, counting as I breathe, trying to quell the panic that has every nerve ending on high alert. I don’t even know if I’m angry at this, at what he’s doing so publicly or if I want it this way and I’m just terrified. I have no clue how to feel or why I even feel this way. All the old inner Emma instincts are to run and hide but new Emma is holding me in my seat, all battling inside of my head with fears and reasoning, weighing up pros and cons, making my head ache.
Shit, crap, fuck. Breathe. Breathe. I can do this. I already said yes. I asked him! This is just Jake needing to do it his way and give me a ring. You love him. Let it go. Let him take control in this and trust him. Trust him, Emma. Trust that he’ll always make you happy.
I find Giovanni’s eyes on me across the table. He’s watching me with a slight smirking expression, those dark terrifying eyes unmoving as I meet his. He slowly lifts his tumbler of gin and raises it toward me, like a little toast, a hint of a smile on his face and then in an instant, it’s gone. He turns to his wife and places a kiss on her cheek leaving me completely dumbfounded."
