CHAPTER647
It doesn’t take him long to source a pharmacy thirty minutes away and he leaves me to hop in a cab. We don’t have a ton of overnight stores here, so he’s gone a while and when he gets back, I dutifully take the three tests he brings home. It felt like he was gone for an eternity and I used the time to get dressed back into my clothes and calm myself down, so I can deal with him like this.
I don’t even try to argue and hand them over emptily as I stroll back to bed and lay down. Numb to this request now and willing it to be done already. I am holding myself together so when he falls apart, I can try and console him in some way.
I can’t even bear to watch his face when it tells him I’m not and I stare out across my room dejectedly as he lays them on my vanity and sets his cell clock with a two-minute timer.
Setting himself up for heartbreak and I don’t want to be involved.
“Don’t hate me, baby.” He leans out across the bed and strokes my leg softly, but I shake my head at him. In pain, knowing what’s coming and wishing he could see that this is only going to hurt him too. I try so hard to separate myself from this moment in a bid to not fall apart.
“There are a million other things we could have been doing on our wedding night. Not rehashing old pain and torturing ourselves.” I answer him quietly as he slides on the bed beside me. Pulling me to him as he moves down the length of me to mold himself closer and I stay stiff. I’m defensive and I am trying so hard not to push him away like I normally would.
“I’m drunk, and maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and realize what an asshole I was tonight and regret putting you through this, but right now, I want you to know I’m grateful that you took tests, even if it rips my heart out all over again. I love you. I’ll make this up to you.”
Arry makes me feel wretched, guilt gnawing at me for being cold with him when all he wants is answers to something that has been driving him insane. I turn on the bed and curl into him, holding him tight and bury my face against his throat in a bid to tell him I’m not mad. I don’t want to talk about it, I wish it was tomorrow already. I want this night to be over.
I could sleep, despite our party still carrying on nearby, we can hear it. We should be there, but all desire to be back there is gone. My mood is ruined, and the nausea is still swirling around like an unwanted bad smell that won’t leave me alone.
We lay quiet, cuddling for what seems like an eternity when his cell starts chiming like the London clock and I eyebrow raise him for his weird choice of alarm. I know it’s random and beside the point, but it’s better than focusing on him turning those tests over. I can almost taste the tension in the room.
He gets up and crosses the floor, but I remain where I am and stare at the empty space he left on my bed. I’m waiting on his reaction, for him to get upset and fall apart, but I hear nothing but the ticking of my bedroom clock and faint music outside in the neighborhood.
We should have stayed down there.
“Sophie?” Arrick’s voice is torn and soft and I close my eyes despite knowing the answer would be this. Knowing he was setting himself up for a night of sorrow. Tears well up and I can’t control the aching need to cry. Not just for me, but for him too.
“Sophie?” Arrick’s voice sounds stronger and I flinch when a warm hand cups my ankle at the base of the bed, startled to open my eyes and look at him. Bracing myself to handle this, to be strong for him. He needs me to be.
He’s standing holding one of the tests in his hand and I want to bawl for him. He looks white and in complete shock and I know it’s going to be a hellish night consoling him after this. I swallow it all down and pull myself to sit. Stop myself from reacting and keep reminding myself that I have to be his rock too. I have to be here when he needs me.
“I’m sorry…” I start to reach for him, but he blinks at me weirdly and holds it out to me. I think he needs me to read it maybe, tell him that what he is seeing is a negative. Maybe he is in shock? I should treat him with kid gloves and limit the damage to tonight as best I can.
I take it gently and pull it to my lap, watching him carefully, smiling softly to reassure him it’s going to be okay, before I glance down at the test in my hand and do a double take.
My heart stops beating, and my blood runs cold.
Pregnant. 5—6 weeks.
What the actual fuck?"
