CHAPTER164
They both sit and begin to eat; the silence is awkward and tense, but no one attempts to initiate conversation. The nurse looks around timidly before deciding staring at her plate is the best option and lowers her head. Finally, feeling my irritation rise beyond control, I break the glass-like atmosphere with a sledgehammer.
“Why are you here?” I blurt out, with not so subtle venom.
“I … We needed to talk about things, Emma.” She lowers her lashes, attempting to be coy, maybe even feebleness, but it only angers me. Putting her fork down and crossing her hands on the table she leans toward me.
“About what exactly? The fact that you’re screwing the man who loves to beat both of us up and tried to rape your only child?” I spit, harshly, taking delight in the nurse’s gasp of shock and the color rising up her cheeks.
I guess she didn’t know after all.
“Yes … Emma, he’s gone … I know what I did, I see what I did.” She tries to reach for my hand, but I yank it out of reach. Her voice has that air of victim that I hate.
How many times have I heard this bullshit? How many times has she pushed men away after they hit one of us, only to have him crawl back into her bed days later?
“Too little, far too late, Mother! You think you can just show up here and smooth it all over? Do you even know what he did while you were lying in a hospital bed?” My voice is raised and agitated; I need to regain a little control in this if we are to have it out. I hate that she always makes me break this way.
“No …” Her weak tiny voice betrays her nervousness, she’s afraid I’m going to tell her he succeeded this time. I catch that moment of doubt, casting my mind back to the look on her face when she caught him trying to hurt me once before … The fear he would want me instead of her. It makes me sick to my stomach, which only helps fuel my rage.
“He attacked me!” I snarl. “He’s just the same evil man he was eight years ago, nothing has changed!”
“What?” her eyes widen in alarm “Did he…?” She can’t formulate the words, but I can read her like a book. All she wants to know is if he had sex with me. This isn’t about me or my getting hurt, it’s about her boyfriend cheating on her.
“No. He didn’t. He just wanted to prove his dominance over me, to scare me, and he did,” I yell at her, the twist in my gut deepening as her expression confirms my thoughts.
She’s relieved. Her boyfriend didn’t betray her. She’s happy. She never cared about me; it was always about her and her men. I just got in the way. I was collateral damage.
I start unravelling and lose my temper completely. Something inside of me snapping so very easily. It’s like a damn just implodes and the waters crash free. I have been holding this in for weeks and I just can’t do it anymore.
“Jake beat the shit out of him and I’m glad … he deserved it! I wish he’d killed him.” I break completely, screaming like a banshee, jumping to my feet, and sending the table into chaos as my body knocks it furiously. The bowls spill and glasses tip over, knocking drinks everywhere. I have no control over the way I react."
