CHAPTER495
“Maybe if you were fucking him to satisfaction, he wouldn’t have looked elsewhere, Tasha. Clearly something was missing if he had to come to me.” I snarl back, complete bitch mode executed and not caring if none of it is even true. I know I owe this girl a sorry, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to stand here and take abuse from a snarly faced bitch who has been mercilessly stalking my boyfriend for weeks. I left, and she lost him anyway. That is not down to me, that is down to him, and what he wants.
Which is obviously me!
I turn to storm off and halt in shock as she bursts into a flood of tears in front of the mirror, so unexpected and like having a bucket of icy water thrown over me to cool my heated jets. Her bitchy tone dissipates, and she is nothing but a blubbering mess, grasping for tissues to stop her makeup pouring down her face, and I don’t know how to react. Anger bristling, temper engaged, yet that underlying guilt for her eating away at me and making me stand rooted to the spot when really, I should be storming out of here. I should be throwing back ‘I don’t care’ and sassily butt swaying my way out like a Diva. That’s what younger Sophie would do.
“Look at what you did to me.” She sobs into her mound of tissues pitifully, like a broken child who has just seen her kitten get run over. “Look at what I have become.” She picks up another wad of tissues and rubs her face manically, staring at her pathetic reflection and sobbing more at the chaos staring her back in the mirror. I turn and take in the mess she is making, feeling stupidly responsible and cursing my inability to embrace my bitch side fully at any given time. I sigh heavily, walking into a cubicle to grab some more and bring them out to dampen in water before handing them to her to clean her face. She regards me for a moment as though I have lost my mind and then takes them cautiously, suspicion evident and yet a tiny hint of gratitude that I even care enough to hand her them. It hits the guilt spot a little harder and I could honestly punch myself in the face for being so weak sometimes.
“I wasn’t having sex with him. Nothing else happened between us. Not until long after you two broke up.” I say with a sigh, hating how pathetic this makes me and not caring anymore about scoring points. I’m not that bitch and I don’t ever want to be. I’ve had a lifetime of being around bitches and I despise all of them. She glances at me again and sniffs a little, the hate on her face calming a little and hints of the girl she used to be shining through. That air of vulnerability that seals my fate, hits me in the gut harder and I have to look away to regain composure.
“Really?” She seems like a wounded puppy in the reflection staring at me and I cave completely. As much as I dislike everything around us, if I knew her only as a girl I met in the bathroom, then I would probably hug her and console her about her idiot ex for letting her go. I hate complicated, it just bursts my head.
“Really. We kissed, a couple of times and nothing else, and then he chose you and I walked out of his life.” I look away from those interrogating eyes, rummage for wet wipes in my bag and hand her the whole pack in a bid to get her focus off me. Damp tissues are smearing what’s all over her face into a grey sludge and I have no desire to watch this girl look more pitiful with every swipe. I turn on my heel to leave her to her face and go to walk away, pretty sure there is nothing more to talk about anyway. We will never be friends, we never were. I don’t want the added burden of this conversation on my heavy heart tonight and I don’t want any more reason to convince myself that I am immature when it comes to hating her presence in our lives.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you. I trusted both of you, this wasn’t how my life was supposed to turn out.” She sniffs again, voice trembling and weak from behind me, and I weaken some more, heart sinking and body deflating. Hatred for her waning and guilt reigning supreme when faced with genuine heartbreak; I hate that I’m this easy to manipulate at her gentle hands.
“I’m sorry it came down to you or me, it was never the plan. I’m sorry you got hurt, that one of us had to.” I reply sadly, with genuine remorse in my torn tone. Hating the heavy pit in my stomach that is for her. I don’t wait for a response, my eyes misting and face aching with trying not to cry, as I walk out of the bathroom at speed and head back into the bowling alley in a bid to get away from everything she makes me feel.
People in my way, making me even more agitated. I spy Arrick and my friends across the crowded room, still in the booth laughing, having fun and generally oblivious to what’s taken place, feels surreal and I’m no longer in the mood to be here.
“You look serious.” Nate’s voice startles me from the left, carrying a tray of fresh drinks; beers mostly, and I guess they are all moving onto alcohol now everyone’s had enough food. For some reason, every social occurrence with this lot turns into a few drinks when evening hits, not that I mind, it’s just that I’m not in the mood anymore.
“Natasha was in the bathroom when I went in, not exactly the best moment of my life.” I shrug, knowing Nate can be a good ear when he wants to be. Despite his ‘screw everything in sight’ personality. I don’t know why I’m sharing when I don’t even want to regurgitate it. I guess I needed to say it, to let it go.
“Wanna talk about it?” He offers, nudging me towards them, but I hesitate, seeing Arrick in the clearing laughing and pushing Jason over a seat. It makes me fold and start moving towards him, forgetting everything, and seeing my beacon of calm and stable ahead. He is too alluring to not want to go to when I feel this shitty; he just makes it better. His laugh alone has me wanting to be back beside him, wrapped in those arms he always throws my way and I go into blinker mode, setting my sights on where I need to be.
“Nope. Just forget it.” I smile at Nate tightly and then focus on the body that is calling to me like a siren and only becomes more alluring when he catches my eye and throws me a sweet little wink and smile. That little finger gesture that says ‘Come here, baby’ and I’m powerless to do anything but obey."
