CHAPTER300
“Jesus, Emma. I want to have sex with you right now so bad, I just can’t.” He holds up despairing hands, that perfect muscular body so ripe to be devoured by me yet denying me of what I really want, what I need. The anger inside of me spikes.
“Yes, you can.” I grab his hand and haul it back to my breast, forcing him to cup it loosely, but he makes no effort to try and lets his arm flop back down. No effort whatsoever.
“I can’t,” he repeats in deflation, eyes downcast, and he looks miserable.
Well that makes two of us!
“I’m sure pregnant women have sex every day, Jake. You’re being ridiculous. It’s not in the same place and it’s sure as hell not going to hurt something that’s barely the size of a bean right now.” I pout, close to frustrated tears and burning up with need, almost painfully. That inner crazy hormonal me, being denied sex, is back with a vengeance.
Jake leans in and kisses my temple slowly and surely. He’s trying to smooth my ruffled feathers and balm my feelings but it’s not going to work.
“I can’t touch you until we see your doctor, Emma, and hear it straight from her. All I can think about right now is how much I just can’t.” He frowns at me apologetically and tries to embrace me with a soft cuddle instead.
I pick up the cushion from the bed and shove it into his chest angrily, so he moves away.
“You’re an ass,” I snap, sexual frustration hitting me hard, aware of how completely unreasonable I’m being. I don’t care though. I feel like after everything this is like getting a massive slap in the face. I want him, I need him in that way, and he isn’t even trying to give it to me.
“Jesus, stroppy. Hormones so bad you’re that pissed at me right now?” He tries to sound jokey and lighthearted, but I just scowl at him.
“You have no fucking idea!” I turn away angrily, throwing myself down on the bed, slinging an arm across my face in complete frustration. Jake stills on the bed for a moment then he slides off and saunters over to turn off the bathroom light.
Probably trying to figure out how to make this up to me without any fucking sex!
Un-goddamn believable. A whole month of nothing and now I’m offering it on a plate and he just can’t?! Where the hell is the sex-crazed Jake that I’m crazy over?!
He slides into bed while I try to get my crazy mood
under control, disappointment surging through me at an alarming rate.
“Did we really get engaged tonight, Emma?” Jake’s husky voice comes close in the dark and my anger dissipates a little at his question. I sigh and push the traces of my mood deep down. He’s trying misdirection. His favorite maneuver. I guess he’s good at it because it’s working. I blow out an agitated breath and slide my arm down, so I can stare at the ceiling for a few agonizing minutes to calm down.
I can’t be mad at him over this.
“I know it wasn’t exactly some romantic blow your mind moment, but I meant it. Something inside of me just stopped running and decided to stand and fight … To fight for you.” I turn on my side and watch him in the dark. His hand comes to trail down my shoulder and arm, slowly and tenderly. I flinch because my skin is still burning with desire and his touch isn’t exactly helping right now, but I stay where I am and don’t pull away.
“You know it was probably the best moment of my life, but I still want to ask you properly, Emma … Can I do that? My way? I don’t know, somehow, it just doesn’t feel official.” He’s watching his fingers trail my skin hypnotically. I can’t help but give up on the rest of my anger when watching him. So still and beautiful and wholly irresistible, with that little boy lost look, asking me for permission. I sigh.
“You mean fireworks and a floor show?” I smirk, reaching out to run my nails across his chest lightly, the ache to have his body still coursing through me despite knowing there is nothing I can do about it.
“You’d expect nothing less from Jake Carrero CEO, commandeering, bossy, cocky, asshole! I need to put a ring on your finger anyway, might as well make the most of the moment I do.” He beams at me and I know I’m completely beaten.
Something changed within me tonight, some shift of the axis, some inner defining moment that I’m still not sure of but I know one thing, this is it for me. No matter what he did, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know he’ll never hurt me like that again and I need to stop hurting him. We have done this to each other and it’s time to stop. We have someone else to think about now and it’s growing inside of me, slowly but surely, already starting to affect our life and relationship with its mere presence. Our relationship has changed somehow, no more sexy games or misunderstandings, no more pandering around what we meant or felt. We are growing as a couple.
The other stuff will come back naturally. Maybe he really does just need that piece of mind that he won’t harm our child. I can’t exactly be mad at the gentle caring protective side of Jake that most people don’t even know exists.
How can I stay angry when at the heart of his inability to touch me is love for our unborn child?
I sigh and cuddle closer, resigning myself to the idea of this being temporary. He better damn well give me some crazy, hot, kinky sex as soon as someone puts his mind at ease."
