CHAPTER486
“We’re not doing sex, but we’re doing sleepovers?” I frown at him, confused why he would want that if he knows we are not going to do anything that requires a bed.
“Why not? I still want you beside me some nights even if it makes me take a dozen cold showers.” He smiles again and goes on crunching on his food, completely dismissive of any weirdness in that sentence. My stomach rumbles involuntarily and I eye up the bowl a little defeatedly. Pondering whether I can eat it or not and knowing if I don’t I will literally starve. I don’t do well on lack of food.
“I need to be home sometimes, to work, to study. I don’t know what nights.” I answer childishly, pouting over my lack of pancakes and staring out past the ceramic bowl to the New York skyline from his wide windows. It’s raining today, and the sky is overcast, not that it’s important in any way but I realize how nice the view is from here at this time of the day.
“I’m not trying to pressure you to stay, just if you want to, then I want you to know it’s an open offer, Sophs. I would have you with me every night.” He draws my attention back to him with a little worried look and I smile at him to ease his tension.
“Okay.” I answer, not sure what else to say really. Yes, I want to be here with him too but no, I am not ready to throw all in and give him everything while I still feel like I need time. There is a part of me that still thinks he needs to work for this a little, stubborn Sophie who won’t back down.
“I’m sorry if I’m being pushy, I know I’m getting ahead of myself. I really want you here, want this to work.” Again, he looks so young and wary and it makes me feel crappy. I sigh and tilt my head up, moving to sit up properly.
“I want that too, I know you’re not being pushy. I just need a little breathing space, to get my head around this.” I shrug, unable to look him in the eye for a moment because I know it’s not the answer he wants.
“I understand baby; Please eat, Sophs. I can’t take you home unless you do. I hate seeing you living on pancakes and sundaes.” He cuts in, changing the topic because he obviously realizes it’s not the time to go into this. I need time and he promised me I could have it.
“Ughhh, for God’s sake. I think I’m going to rename you Jake!” I snap; never a morning person and hating how nagging he can be sometimes. He’s worse than my mom.
“Jake would get fewer arguments from you. You do what he tells you.” He points out with a frown, a little hint of attitude because it’s true. But then Jake is my godfather and he can be one scary dude when he wants to be.
“Jake’s less of an ass than you are.” I retort, leaning out and picking up the spoon in my bowl to mix the mixture of food childishly.
“Thanks, I love you too, Sophs…. Okay, back to this … I train every weekday morning and twice in the evening; I can never schedule my work rota at Carrero Corp as lately it’s been hectic so really, we are going to have to take each day as it comes in terms of dating. I also have a fight in three weeks, I need to fly to Miami a week before. I guess I’ll have to plan everything around all that.” He pushes my bowl back towards me when he sees me playing with it and I give him a look that equates to ‘I am still not eating it’ that is met with a frown.
“Check us being all proper grown-up and organized. Do I need a calendar to write this all down?” I smirk at him, slapping his hand off when he tries to pick up my spoon to push at me.
“A spank maybe, how about you just text me daily and tell me when to pick you up. I’ll tell you when I can’t. I meant what I said. I would see you every second of every day if you let me.” He sighs heavily, eyes homed in on my lack of eating and I refrain from sticking my tongue out at Mr. Frustrating. over there.
“Why does this feel the same?” I sigh, eyeing him up with scrutiny suddenly, wondering if it’s normal that we have reverted back to us of old. Suddenly wondering what that even means.
“What do you mean? Same as what?” He stops and glances up at me from his bowl, looking at me like he has no clue what I mean. A teeny hint of concern in the depths.
“All of this seems just like when we used to make plans to go off skiing or to hang out, it doesn’t feel different. We’re being so … normal.” I wave my hands about to emphasize my point and then flop onto my elbows once more, caging my bowl. Arrick straightens and shrugs at me, eyes on my food that I am once again stirring absentmindedly.
“Because it is normal, relationships are like this, Sophie. Best mates who also fuck and kiss a lot. No other dates or people in the way, but like we were, with a whole lot more intimacy and touching.” He shrugs with one shoulder, looks relieved and goes back to what he was doing, reaching out to stop me from sending the contents of my bowl over the edge with the way I am messing with it. He stills my hand and pushes the darn thing back at me more forcefully this time.
“What did you think it would be like?” He adds in afterthought.
“I don’t know. Awkward maybe. That it would be, or feel different, and not feel so normal and non-scary. I thought it would be something new and kinda weird.” I watch that perfectly calm face, the twinge of a neat eyebrow as he takes in what I am saying and the little smile that breaks the corner of his mouth. I also pick up my spoon and go straight back to drawing patterns in my granola so that some sploshes on the table in the most satisfying way. He looks at me like he maybe is rethinking the spanking comment and eats.
“When we get to sex it will change the dynamics a little, but generally, we already had a close relationship. That’s why we’re doing this slowly, so nothing is scary or overwhelming for you, baby. Just us like this and we will work up to more later if you want to. This is how it really is; we already had something that worked.” He seems confident in the fact, while I just feel confused.
“Guess I’m used to guys who try to hump my leg constantly, fuck me about, leave me hanging, and screw my so-called mates when they don’t get what they want.” I shrug this time and go back to torturing my food with my spoon. Complacent about my dating past and not feeling anything about any of the scumbags who never deserved me anyway.
“None of that is ever going to happen with me. We have always been honest with each other. I might occasionally hump you though when I get majorly horny from you doing things like this.” Raising a brow, he leans under the table and catches my foot which has crept up his warm leg under of its own accord, wiggling toes up his leg, not thinking of what that had been doing to him. With a warm hand around my heel, he lets my foot drop back to the floor with a furrowed cute look.
“Oops.” I blush and sit my feet together on the floor. Feeling a little cold on the wooden surface seeing as I am barefoot. Arrick adjusts his sweatpants and carries on eating, shaking his head at me with the half-smile that sets his dimples off. Sighing heavily that his girl about gave him a boner without intending too, with her foot because they were cold.
“Don’t ever be afraid to talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking and call me out on bullshit. We are no different to how we were, only closer. I want us to be so much closer than we were.” He picks up his glass of orange and takes a long drink, watching me carefully. Every mannerism controlled in his very Arrick way. I stare at him fascination as he drinks his squash, at his Adam’s apple moving sexily in that strong neck.
“That sounds … nice.” I answer, aware that he is a little too focused on me, eyes going straight back to my bowl with a brow flicker as he puts his glass down."
