CHAPTER294
“Breathe, bambino.” Jake’s mouth comes to my cheek in a soft peck from behind; his hands on my shoulders as I stand smoothing down my dress in the mirror. It’s late and we’ve been up here for a couple of hours. I slept a lot and we laid together just talking, while watching daytime TV, about everything and nothing. Idle chit chat and jokes; Jake trying his hardest to just make this feel normal. Neither of us wanting to acknowledge that she is going to be under the same roof soon enough. Neither of us wanting to talk about anything to do with her. I would be happy with never talking about what he did ever again.
I am so ravenous for food, but I know she’s down there somewhere; I’m about to lay eyes on her for the first time since he touched her. I gulp softly and quell the nerves running through my stomach which are causing a swirling ache of nausea.
“I’m okay.” I try to reassure him, even though I’m far from it. I smile back at him from our reflection. I’m looking better, less pale, no more rosy cheeks from a high temperature. My black shift dress clinging in all the right places and my flat pumps making me a little less formal. I look right for a dinner in a family home; just not right to face the woman who is crazy in love with my Jake. The woman he betrayed me with not so long ago and my stomach lurches with a stab of pain.
“You look beautiful. Sexy … Fuckable.” Jake grins, kissing me on the neck, burying his face against me and smelling me. I close my eyes.
He always knows what to say and how to touch me.
That familiar ache in my lower abdomen stirs that I get frequently, any mention of sex or gentle kisses or caresses, especially my neck and I yearn for him. It’s been too long, and I find myself salivating over him, more and more, with every passing day. He’s just too damn masculine and utterly devastating to not want to be nakedly entwined with him. Just looking at him walk across a room in casual or formal clothes could send any woman’s heart racing, let alone someone who knows what those hands and that body are capable of. I am seriously craving everything he could do to me right now while watching him in the mirror.
Jake is right though, something inside of me isn’t ready and I’m not there yet. He never gives any signs of getting beyond kissing and cuddling, my lower body seems completely off limits to him. When he touches me anywhere below my waistline, hips are all he will put his hands on, except my abdomen where our baby lies.
“Ditto.” I smile, devouring him visibly in his fitted navy shirt under a dark gray tailored suit, collar open as always, lacking a tie. He looks dressed for more business dinner rather than family meal, but I know he’s conveying a message. This dinner will be all business while Marissa is at his mother’s table. He told me his mother wants to be involved, to try to mediate the situation he’s been failing to get on top of for weeks. In a way, I feel better knowing she’ll be there for support. Sylvana, with her flawless grace will bring a presence to be table that will, maybe, finally, get Marissa to agree to set terms and stop the emotional tug of war and manipulative moves.
The problem is simple. Marissa is still in love with Jake so she’s not going to stop trying to maneuver this situation her way. She obviously figures that baby means leverage, and after Jake kissed her, she thinks she has a chance of getting him back. She clearly has no clue to the meaning behind his kiss. To her it was a glimpse into the problems in our relationship and maybe a hint that he still wanted her. I have no doubt her showing up here is because she thinks she can push Jake’s mother to her side once more. I know back as a teen she was a regular in this house and she’s angling to get back in.
I watch him move back to fix his hair, his gaze over my head in the mirror as he expertly styles it with his fingertips. He looks adorable when he’s doing simple things like this. Young and effortlessly sexy. I can’t deny that with every passing day I’m starting to learn how to forgive him, a tiny bit at a time, and it’s starting to hurt a little less intensely. Looking at him now there’s none of the carnage I felt in those first few days, none of the confusion I used to feel when stood close to him.
I know he doesn’t still have feelings for her. Finally, that inner insecurity, in the last few weeks, somehow has shaken itself free; in every look he turns my way, with every touch and every word out of his mouth.
Jake loves me, really, really loves me. In the way that I love him. A fully encompassing and world changing, blow your mind kind of love. Marissa never stood a chance with him. That kiss meant nothing, and I am not going to let it hurt me, or us, anymore. The attention he continually shows to our unborn baby is like a final sign that I am everything to him and our life together will always be his soul focus.
He catches my eye in the mirror and smiles at me, that sexy natural slight flex he throws me every time we look at each other. My heart lurches a little and skips a beat. Jake could always say so much with a look, maybe because I know him so well and am tuned into him on another level. In one look, he’s telling me everything I ever need to know, and he means it; telling me I look beautiful and he’s completely in love with me. He’s giving me courage.
* * *
As much as I try to prepare myself by pulling on my most efficient PA Emma face none of it truly prepares me for the blast of sickening pain when I am finally faced with one Marissa Hartley.
Walking down the stairs and into the dining room I don’t take in the beautiful room, elegant settings, or wonderful smells of food. I just see the girl with the long, curled, brown, highlighted hair. The seductive, Latino looking face with sensual lips, wearing an overly tight floor length animal print dress, fully emphasizing her bust, curvy figure, and undeniably compact baby bump protruding at her front. I also can’t ignore the way her eyes devour Jake hungrily as he walks in behind me with a guiding hand.
She exudes pure sexual energy, every movement calculated for maximum impact, hips swinging and cleavage swaying. Her pouting and hair flicking mannerisms all made for pure seduction.
I hate you so much I want to smash that center piece right into your face.
I glare at her icily, our eyes meeting for a moment, and I catch a glimmer of smugness. She has no qualms about meeting me dead on and even licks her lips in the process. I feel nothing but revulsion and soul scratching hatred for her.
“Jake … Emma.” Her low husky voice purrs our names as she slips effortlessly into a seat ushered by Sylvana, sliding down gracefully and never once taking her eyes from Jake as he settles me into my chair. I glance at the steak knives in front of me and wonder if Jake would mind if I stabbed her in the face with one.
The waiting staff nearby are laying glasses of wine down on the table. I note that both the glass before her and I are full of fresh orange instead, an inner smugness washes over me and I wonder if she will even notice.
See, you think you have something over me, Marissa, I have a secret that you’re going to hate more.
I catch Jake watching me, carefully, as he slides in beside me. Neither of us has said a word since walking in here. I catch his eyes going to the ridiculously sharp cutlery, a slight hint of a smirk draws across his face. He obviously knows where my brain has been heading and I raise an eyebrow at him as if to say, What? He just shakes his head with a smile and leans in to kiss me behind the ear.
“I love you, but please don’t stab her while we have witnesses.” The low husky tone, followed by his chuckle, sets a smile on my face and I’m even more smug at catching Marissa scowling our way. Her eyes narrow at Jake’s affection, and she twists a fork in agitation.
Arrick appears, casually, with a new, non-descriptive girl in tow; a mirror image of the little thing who annoyed me so much last time we were here. He says his hellos, passing smiles and introductions, when Giovanni Carrero saunters in greeting us all unemotionally. I suddenly feel a little more uncomfortable when he’s here, that steady sharp gaze seems to devour this scene, the polite greetings as though he’s walking into a business meeting and not seeing his own flesh and blood. Everyone sits, including Sylvana, and there is an almost fake politeness in the atmosphere as quiet chatter and light idle conversation begins.
I glare at Marissa as we’re served. This is a family dinner and she’s been allowed to join in. Sylvana is trying to bring her into the fold of the family to send Jake a clear message. She wants him to fix this and ensure her grandchild is not kept from her. She wants Marissa to feel like she’s a part of this, and belongs here too, so in the future she will want to bring her child here.
My heart plummets at just how much I hate her presence in this home with these people who are supposed to be my family one day. The realization that this is how it’s going to be, that this isn’t just about her, Jake, and I, but it’s about all of us and what these people will be in her child’s life. That tug of emotion rises, hitting me hard, swallowing down the pain that threatens to consume me suddenly.
Jake slides his hand over mine and pulls it to his mouth kissing my knuckles, softly, pulling me toward him a little. He bridges the gap and pecks me softly on the cheek whispering “I love you” as he pulls back. He senses the change in me, senses that I’m feeling emotional, and like always, he’s there to ground me. I can’t help but smile at him adoringly. Green eyes locking onto mine, so many messages translating in one tender look. My heart rising a little that I have him and she never will, not in the way she wants him.
I catch Marissa watching us with a glare of sheer hatred in her eye as the death grip on the fork she’s holding turns her knuckles white. It only strengthens that inner feeling of triumph and I smile toward her almost salaciously.
“So, I hear there’s some news you have for me, Jacob?” Giovanni cuts in smoothly, across the chatter, as the starter plates are slid before us by efficient house staff. I flicker up catching both men’s eyes locked across the table, no sort of emotion or message on either face. They are acting like they always do, like two men in a standoff, trying to be polite. Try as I might I have never really understood how they can stand this relationship. Jake never seems to want to try to fix things and Giovanni never seems to make attempt either.
“I have a couple of things I need to tell you, just not here right now.” Jake’s voice betrays a slight edge in his tone and his father instantly smirks. The irritating Carrero smirk that shows they are undeniably related despite their very different appearances, neither looking away, the air almost sizzling with tension. I catch a nervous flinch in the corner of Sylvana’s eye and start to feel a little uncomfortable too.
Giovanni is one of the most unreadable people I have ever met in my life. He gives no inkling to what he’s thinking or feeling, ever. An amazing poker face and never seems to have any other moods apart from this one or yelling at staff. Even in his family’s presence there is his usual, air of authority and emotional distance. It’s a little chilling.
“Yes, later, when we don’t have guests.” Sylvana warns with a tone of authority and throws a smile at Marissa sitting to her right. It’s a reassuring smile. Giovanni is at the head of the table and doesn’t acknowledge Marissa at all. He doesn’t even look her way, keeping his dark set of eyes focused on me, I begin to tremble.
“Emma? I hear congratulations are in order.” Giovanni raises an eyebrow at me, and I choke hard on the piece of broccoli I put in my mouth. My eyes dart around the faces at the table and Jake tenses. The ripples of anger from him surging, instantly, because I’ve been put on the spot by a man who rarely acknowledged my presence the last time I was here. I can feel Jake’s whole body change like lightening.
“Ummm.” I falter. Stammering because I have no idea what to say.
“Jake told us you’re his VP now, because you have a good business head and could do a lot of good in the future of our company.” Arrick cuts in, with a knowing smile, and I get the same edgy tone from his voice that Jake has. I notice for the first time the same cool look he gives his father. Arrick is obviously the family mediator when it comes to this volatile relationship, moving in to easily diffuse whatever this is. I smile at him gratefully, warmed to him instantly.
“I’m undecided if that’s what I want anymore. I need to take some time to evaluate my career.” I return quickly. Jake seems happy with the answer, Arrick smiles encouragingly, and everyone sets about the food in front of them."
