Chapter 120
Claire's POV
I get dressed in legging and a T-shirt, knowing I'll be naked from it soon. I'm hoping to avoid all contact with anyone. I want to be completely alone right now.
I walk out of the house and the air feels so nice, the warmth of spring seeping through the winter clouds. I avoid walking across my yard by going in between the grassy area of my family and Martin's house. Once I think I reach the safety of the tree line I hear a somber scream coming from my home. My ears perk up and my head snaps to the home.
My Mother comes running out the back door, my Father chasing after her. Robe pulled loosely around her and tears down her cheeks.
"How could she do this to us! After everything we had given her!" My mind instantly thinks she's talking about Bervely but when my Mother spots me and anger darkens her eyes I know it's me
"you devil child!" My Mother screams and runs after me but I'm stuck in place in shock and confusion.
She reached me and red hot blotches cover her face
"you ruin everything" she cries as I stand there starstruck, her blonde hair is half curled and bounces as she weeps
My Father stares down at me with disgust
"You're just going to let this happen? Allow your own family to be kicked out of a pack we've been in longer than you've been fucking the alpha?" My Father spits and I gasp
Tears well up at his comment "this isn't my fault! You lied to him to get Bervely and him together. I had no control over that" I cry
"We did it because we love her, you want to ruin her life and our life" my Mother continues to angrily weep and forcefully grasp my arm
I realize now Martin sent out the message of what happened...it really is final. Even now with my Mother and Father saying these hateful things what hurts more is what Martin is doing. How he completely disregarded how this is making me feel and the awkward spot it's putting me in.
I rip my arm from my mothers grasp and sprint into the woods, needing space from everyone and everything. I shift as soon as I know I'm out of their sight. My heart speeds at the shift and I howl. Never in my life have I howled loud enough for anyone to hear. Afraid of someone hearing and coming after me. But my brain isn't thinking. My howl is loud and sorrowful, the pain evident in the echos.
I don't have time to regret it, I just continue to run. I run from edge to edge of the pack, staying near the border but far enough so the border control warriors don't see me. I let my mind wonder to the past months. From waking up one morning and having Kenneth and May as our alpha and luna, the pack as it has been the past 17 years to shifting to what it has become. Me and the roller coaster with Martin, Lawrence and Tara drama, my family fighting for Bervely's spot in the Alphas heart and now this, the pain in my heart from letting Martin have so much effect over me.
What feels like minutes later I finally give my black paws a rest and lean against a tree. My dark fur rubbing against the thick bark and soothing my muscles. I look around and try to figure out where I am so I know where to find some clothes. I walk slowly around the trees and allow the sounds of nature to fill my head instead of my thoughts.
I find a stash of my clothes and change back into human form. I instantly miss the strength and power I felt that my wolf brings me. I look down at my small weak human body and fight back tears, feeling the emotions hit me once again.
I wipe them away and quickly get dressed...but where to go? I still don't want to be around anyone. I sigh and adjust my shirt, throwing my silver hair into a high ponytail.
I start to just walk and wonder, wonder around the forrest using my human senses to calm me. Before I know it I've reached a familiar house. I stare up at the cottage on the edge of our territory and weakly smile. Remembering the many times me and Tara would play around the flower beds, chase each other around the willow tree, and dance barefoot around the forest floor until our feet were black with dirt. I can still smell the apple pie her Grandmother made us all the time.
I remember Tara's words from before she hated me. She told me about one of her Grandmothers prophecies, the one about the black female wolf. I want so badly to know, but I don't know if I can handle that right now. I already have too much going on around me...I have to deal with whatever is going on right now and I can start worrying about my wolf later. I almost want to go in and just talk to her, I miss her kind voice and sweet smile, but she could be mad at me for Tara's leaving. So I turn around and decide I'll go back to Martin's house and just pray he's busy so I don't have to talk to him yet.
"Claire? Claire is that you?" I hear the familiar kind voice behind me and I look over my shoulder
Tara's Grandmother stands there, long black dress and matching cardigan over her small body. Her crooked smile is soft and her hazel eyes look at me sweetly. Her hair is wiry and just as grey as mine. I can't help but smile at her as she opens her arms up for me. I walk back over to her and hug her tightly.
She pulls back and looks over my face, placing her hands over my cheeks
"eyes like the stars, skin like the moon, silver hair that moves with the blow of the nightly wind" she whispers and smiles. Her eyes glance down to my wrist and she takes it in her hand and runs her finger over my birthmark
"mark of the crescent...you get more beautiful every time I see you, your ora is growing powerful"
I ignore the last part...knowing how weak I am "Thank you Lolly, I've missed you" I tell her and she nods
"Come in and talk with me child" she says and I follow after her slow moving body
Walking down the bricked pathway to her front door, I inhale the fresh and pure smell of the flowers that line the walkway. We walk into the warm candle lit home. She gets straight down to business as she leads me into the living room and sits me down next to her.
"Talk to me Claire, I feel your suffering" she frowns her wrinkled lips
I look away, feeling my heart hammer against my ribs...I know if I start I won't stop. So I start. I let out everything, She sits there and listens through my long explanation.
She sighs
"Claire you have to stay strong...it's only going to get harder" her hazel eyes are full of pity as she looks at me "this is partly my fault"
"What do you mean?" I ask through a sniffle
I look away, feeling my heart hammer against my ribs...I know if I start I won't stop. So I start. I let out everything, She sits there and listens through my long explanation.
Her eyes turn serious
"the prophecy...I told Tara the prophecy- it's you my dear...you are the-" shes cut off by heavy footsteps racing around outside
"I hardly ever get visitors from the pack" she says more to herself
We hear a growl and then the wolf shifting to human. We both stare at the door anticipating who will enter. Without a knock Martin storms in and scans the room, the moment his eyes land on me he takes long steps over to me. His face is hard, breathing deep, eyes dark and eyebrows knitted as he scoops me up and buries his face into my neck.
I look to Lolly and her face is sad as she watches the exchange...what she knows scares me.
"Claire you scared the shit out of me" his voice cracks and he squeezes me tighter as he slowly puts me down
"Why?" I ask quietly
He raises an eyebrow
"you've been gone all day" he says
"no one has heard from you since this morning"
My eyebrows raise and I look past him out the window to see the nights darkness shadowing the trees.
"Oh" I say softly and he scoops me up again
"how did you find me?"
"I lost your scent in the tree line of your house and just ran around the territory for hours until I picked it up again...how did you do that?" He asks curiously
"Do what?" I ask
"Hide your scent, did you shift?"
My eyes widen
"yes..." I try to wrap my head around my scent not being picked up. No one has ever looked for me so I never we knew my scent was hidden.
"I don't know" I say to myself
Martin doesn't seem satisfied with my answer but looks me over and seems to believe I'm just as clueless.
"It doesn't matter...lets get you home" he says and even with my anger towards him my heart skips a beat at his words. Honestly I'm tired after this hellish day, we can figure out the events of the day tomorrow.
I nod and turn back to thank Lolly and tell her I'll see her soon but I see her walking down the hallway, her head hung low. I frown but decide not to bother her. Martin takes my hand in his and leads me out. Lolly's words making my curiosity of who I really am grow.
We get back to his house and I lay down in his bed. He insisted I sleep with him; I didn't have the will or need to argue. He removes his shirt and shorts and I try to turn over and be unaffected by his body...but god it's hard. The bed dips at his weight and I feel his warmth move next to me. He hovers over me, his strong arms supporting him.
"Claire" he whispers close to my ear and I close my eyes tighter to fight from turning to him
"please look at me" he pleas and I can't help but give in.
I turn to his deep brown eyes, a frown lays on his perfect lips and his eyebrows crease. His hair is messy and soft. He's gorgeous. His hand comes up and caresses my cheek in the most gentle way, making my toes curl.
"You can't ever scare me like that again" his voice is soft and pained
I want to hold on to the fact I can do whatever I please. That I needed my space away from him but looking into his eyes and seeing the anguish and pain he felt not knowing where I was causes my hard heart to soften and guilt to settle in.
"I'm sorry" I say and he hugs my small body to his, wrapping his strong arms around my back. Mine go around his neck and pull him down on me. His intense delightful smell and body suffocate me and I love it.
"I don't know what I would do if I lost you" he says against my neck and I close my eyes and feel my heart swell
"Why?" I whisper, needing to hear him say something to reassure me
He pulls away from me and looks deep into my grey eyes, his eyebrows furrow. He pauses for a moment and just looks at me "because you're my world" his warm breath fans across my face and his lips land on my cheek, then moves to the other, onto my nose, forehead and then finally to my lips. He pulls away and sighs
"They aren't banished" he sits up a little and glancing over my face. The events from this morning replay in my head.
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