Chapter 115
He’s panting just as hard as she is, his left arm is wrapped around her body holding her tightly to his, his right is still on her stomach.
“What the fuck was that? You’ve got to take her away from him, dad. All he’s doing is hurting her.”
“Shut it, Lucas.” I state, tired of his comments.
“Dad!”
“Shut it!”
I place my hand on Madilyn's head. She’s shaking hard with a soft whine.
“Madilyn.”
I try to encourage her to talk but I don’t think she’s quite ready so I switch to the link. I’m relieved to find that despite the harshness of the release her overall pain level is a lot better but she’s nervous because she can feel Cole’s claws.
I rub the back of Madilyn’s head as I come out of the link with her.
“Just relax Madilyn, everything is okay.”
I reassure her as I try to connect with Cole. Everyone seems to have come to the same conclusion as me, Cole has taken a dramatic change that even he seems afraid of.
I’ve slowly started allowing my parental aura to start taking hold. The fact that Cole seems terrified of being in a partial shift has me concerned as well as highly confused.
He said that he shifted three months after he turned sixteen so I know he’s a shifter, so why would he be terrified of his other half. Then I remember, the marking of the pups started only after he lost control of his wolf. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like to be so confined.
“Cole.”
I speak softly knowing that my aura is out and he’s yet to notice any difference between the multiple auras I use to emphasize how I’m feeling. He stiffens up under my touch on his shoulder.
“Cole, I need you to relax.”
“No alpha. You need to take Madilyn from me. Please. I don’t know how long I can hold him back. He can’t stand the screams of a little. Please alpha. She’s just a baby. I will kill myself if he hurts her.”
Cole’s voice is panicked and fearful.
“I’d like to see the pervert do that.”
Lucas comments with a chuckle that ends swiftly with a crack to the back of his head.
“What the hell Patrick?” I growl loudly, ending his protest just as quickly.
“Given your current mental health, that is not a threat I will take lightly.” I warn Cole.
“You don’t understand alpha. The littles are all I have. He is on the surface and if I relax. If I don’t fight him back. I will hurt her. Please alpha. You’ve got to take her from me. If I hurt her like I hurt the girls in my pack I will have nothing left. No reason to remain in this world.”
I swallow hard, uncertain as to how to approach this dramatic change in his mood.
“Cole, if you are doing what you admitted to doing to the girls of your pack last night, then attempting to take Madilyn from you while you are fighting your wolf for control would put her in extreme danger.”
I speak slowly to ensure that he fully comprehends what I’m telling him.
“I understand that you firmly believe differently but considering your confession last night and how fervently you protected her today during Lucas’s attack, I do not believe that she is in any danger right now. And neither does she.”
I slide my hand slowly under the collar of his shirt, resting it on his chest just below his neck.
“Cole, my concern right now isn’t your fear of hurting Madilyn. To be honest, she is showing absolutely no fear at all. She is comfortably laying on your shoulder. The only thing she doesn’t like is the feeling of your claws on her skin. My concern is that you speak of your wolf as a separate entity from yourself. An entity that you have been falsely led to believe is dangerous. Something that must be contained and controlled at all times. Am I correct? Have you been taught that listening to your wolf is wrong?”
He’s shaking hard under my hand. He wants to talk but his desire to fight his wolf is too strong and it’s exhausting what little energy he has.
I catch the eyes of Patrick. He seems speechless at my assumption that Cole may have been taught such falsities. When my eyes meet Lilly’s she is full of sorrow.
Keeping my one hand on his chest I place the other in his hair, slowly and gently encouraging him to lay back against me.
“Cole, I need you to relax and follow my movements. I need you to not just listen but believe in what I am telling you because I do believe that you have been told lies so that you would fear and become overly controlling of your wolf when he appeared.”
“I can’t alpha. Please. Just take your baby.”
“No Cole. You need to understand that your wolf and you are the same. Your wolf has the same innate desires as you. You want to protect and care for these pups in a way that no one else can and while it may be more wild in nature than you want, it was only when you followed your wolf’s instincts that you were able to help those girls.”
“Please” He whispers, his voice becoming even more desperate.
“I need you to relax, Cole. I need you to share control with your wolf. You are correct that you can’t give up control but that’s only because of the condition that you’re in. A full shift right now could kill you. Lay your head back against me. I’m right here. I promise I have control of your wolf. You’re not going to hurt anyone.”
He slowly, with great hesitation, allows himself to change. Allowing himself to lean into my hold and touch. I smile slightly as his aura comes out, strong, and powerful.
He finally moves his head back against me, it’s easy to see that he’s starting to like leaning against my arm as I gently pull him back into me.
“This is much better, Cole. Now, I need you to open your eyes. I need to see what you look like in a partial and your eyes are the quickest way to tell.”
“No sir, I can’t.”
“Why? I really do need to see.”
He shakes his head hard as he tries to lean forward away from me again. I press the palm of my hand gently into his chest, discouraging his movements. He whines hard before relenting to my silent request to stay with me.
“Alpha please. Everyone in my pack who has seen me in a partial has screamed in my face before running away from me. I’ve been told that looking at me in a partial is like looking into the face of pure evil, the devil himself.” He whispers sadly.
I draw my fingers through the hair on the top of his head. I look down at Madilyn as she snuggles even closer to Cole, her forehead against his neck. She is completely relaxed in his arms and is sleeping so soundly that I can hear a faint snore.
‘Be patient and keep doing what you’re doing. I’ve got a perfect view.’ I hear Lilly in my head.
“Cole I’d like you to stay like you are just open your eyes so we can see what your partial shift looks like. We’ve seen all three varieties so nothing is going to scare us.”
“Three?”
“You’ve never been told?”
“No ma’am.”
“What have you been told about the way eyes look when in a partial shift.” I interrupt their conversation.
“I went to a mixed high school. My father refused to let me take the standard werewolf health classes after I got out of the hospital. He convinced me that I would never shift so I didn’t need to know anything about it.”
“Oh, I see.” Lilly sighs. “There are three types of eyes. The dominant and most common type is where the pupil dilates and makes the majority of the colored part of your eyes disappear. Myself, Damian and Lucas all have that type as does half of all wolves.”
“The second type,” I interject after Lilly, “is when the whites of your eyes turn black and your wolf’s eyes replace your normal ones. The most common colors you see are shades of amber and brown, but sometimes you see green or blue. I’m part of the one quarter of wolves that happens to.”
“The last type is just as rare as Demetri’s.” Patrick surprises us when he talks. “One quarter of wolves will have blackened eyes. I believe doctors settled on calling them black-out eyes. Based on your description, it sounds like that’s what you have but we need to see them before you get out of the partial to verify that’s what you have.” He shakes his head against my arm.
“The light hurts and I already have a headache. Madilyn’s screams didn’t help.”
“Well boss, based on my own experience with black-out eyes I would say that’s what he has.”
“Do you know anything about light sensitivity?”
“I know it quite well actually. They are the hardest type to get used to.”
I watch as Patrick moves around the table until he’s standing behind Lilly and a knocked out Madisyn.
“Cole, I want to do with you what I did with Parker when I found out he was a black-out.”
“Why?” Cole whispers faintly. “Why would you want to help me when you hate me? Have you been told to jump me as well?”
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