Chapter 119
I look up again into alpha’s eyes. I linger there a moment really studying him.
“I’m sorry about last night.”
I finally whisper. He shakes his head as he reaches slowly towards me.
“I know your head is sore, I’m not going to hurt you.”
He whispers as he touches the side of my head. I can’t keep myself from closing my eyes and turning away from his touch.
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes I do alpha. I don’t force the pups to do anything. Last night, we forced Madilyn to accept my help. Her age and fear made it so there was no other way.”
“Is that what you tell yourself when you force yourself on to the pups? That you're helping them.”
“That’s enough Lucas.” Alpha growls at his son but it doesn’t make a difference.
“No dad! Enough is enough. Why are you pussyfooting around with him? You should have gotten rid of him like you did that idiot, Dallas and his friends. He’s the same damn thing. He’s a violent, unpredictable, rapist getting his kicks off of little girls.”
“Enough!” I finally force myself to stand up to him.
“How dare you judge me before you know me.”
I’m breathing hard as my anxiety spikes. I don’t ever fight back but this prick is really getting under my skin with his inability to let the pedophile rumor go.
“Would you like to know what kind of wolf Dallas is? He has raped every she-wolf he has ever dated, with and without my father’s permission.
He has three pups that he’s abandoned as well as one on the way. All of them created through rape. All of them abandoned before they were ever born. And those are the ones lucky enough to survive the pregnancy. I can’t begin to tell you how many of his pups were miscarried because he refused to stop raping the mother. How many women I saw left tied to their beds, battered and broken from him tying them up and raping them for days on end. It’s impossible to remember how many times I was forced to break into their room, forced to clean up his mess. You have no idea what it’s like to take a blanket and cover their shaking body with it. To climb into their bed and hold them because they are so terrified that they resort to hurting themselves trying to get loose from the restraints that bind them.
Have you ever received the news that a she-wolf you helped get to the hospital committed suicide after she miscarried her pup? I have. Goddess I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve seen that happen. I have seen first hand what happens to she-wolves when they are forcibly raped. I have seen first hand what happens when pups are molested and raped by their male pack members. By the very wolves that are supposed to protect them from the rogues and marauders that are out to do the very same thing. But I’m the fucking rapist. I’m the fucking pedophile. I’m the problem that everyone wants to get rid of. That no one wants to give a chance to.
You beat the shit out of me based on what a rapist said or was it because I stumbled upon your dirty little secret. That you hope to silence me from speaking out by emphasizing what others have accused me of. Hypocrisy doesn’t last long within a pack Lucas. How long do you think she’ll keep quiet before she has to tell her friends that she’s fucking the alpha’s son? That she lost her virginity to you. How many pre-shifts have you fucked around with, Lucas? How many have lost their virginity to you? How many times have you forgotten the condom putting them in danger of getting pregnant?”
Lucas has gone pale and silent with my rant, everyone has, but for the first time in a long time I can’t reign in my frustration. I just can’t bring myself to stop even though I know I’ll pay dearly later.
“How dare you. How dare you judge me, beat the shit out of me when you’re doing the very thing I am accused of. You don’t have a damn thing to say about me when you’re the one having unprotected sex with ten to twelve year old girls.”
I’m not even certain as to when I stood from the table but when I finally end my rant the feeling in the room is uncomfortably tense and all I want to do is run. I find myself slowly stepping backwards from the table. I yelp when alpha takes hold of my arm even though I barely feel him.
“I’m sorry alpha. I didn’t mean to rant like that. I wanted to tell you of my concerns privately. Not like this. You didn’t deserve to find out like this.”
I’m shaking my head hard as I try to step away. I’m holding Madilyn close, I don’t want to let her go but the gravity of what I’ve said, what I’ve done is hitting me hard. My freshly broken ribs are screaming and I’m getting dizzy from the double concussion.
“Cole, look at me.”
“I’m sorry alpha. I’m so sorry. Please just let me go upstairs.”
“In a minute, Cole. Who’s the girl? I can’t help her without a name.”
Something about his voice pulls me back.
“Melody.” I whisper “I wasn’t close enough for my wolf to get an exact age but from what we could smell, she’s a pre-shift ten to twelve years old.”
“Thank you.” He speaks gently.
“Go ahead to the medical room I showed you last night. I’ll link Lilly to meet you there and I’ll have Angela come up there with your next dose of toradol for your pain. I’ll check on you before I head to bed.”
I nod my head as I back away from him slowly. My eyes are darting around, trying to figure out who is going to jump me when I pass by them but the only ones out of their seats are the alpha and beta. It appears that the beta is keeping Lucas in his seat and everyone appears to be in shock.
Taking my chances I take off for the stairs leading to the room I’m staying in, with Madilyn’s warm, rhythmic breath against my neck the only thing keeping me sane.
I jog to the steps as soon as I’m out of sight of those at the table. I slow to a stop once I hit the bottom of the steps. I lean my back against the wall, holding my breath as the sting from the multiple cuts all over my back light up at the same time. I slowly let my breath out as I lean my head back against the wall, closing my eyes as I curse my own stupidity.
I yelp as I feel a gentle grasp on my arm. I’m starting to wheeze badly as I open my eyes and find them looking into the soft brown eyes of Dr. Pierce.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She reassured me as I groan.
“How much did he tell you of what just happened?”
“Nothing. He asked if I could give you a dose of toradol. You are looking rough right now. Let’s get you upstairs and comfortable in bed. I’m going to use your hip this time, give your arms a break.”
I freeze, instantly going into a fear driven panic. Ever since the whipping my back has been messed up and receiving shots in either of my hips are a nightmare for me.
“Please not my hip.” I know she sees my fear when I look into her eyes. “My right is easier than my left to handle but just barely. Please. I’ll undress. I’ll do anything, just not my hip.”
I’m repeating myself, unable to comprehend her response. I’m frozen in place, refusing to move until I feel her hugging me tight against her. I’m still muttering as I hear her gently hushing my hysteria.
“You’re showing me a lot of fear with this particular location. I promise I’ll do something different but we need to get you upstairs.”
She holds me gently until I start moving on my own up the stairs.
It’s a true struggle to carry Madilyn up the steps and I spot Luna at the top waiting for us. I’m panting with a hard wheeze behind it as I get to the top.
Luna smiles gently as she places her hands on my elbows, stopping me briefly.
“I’m sorry Luna. I’m so sorry. Please tell alpha not to punish Lucas. Please, no more physical punishment. No one deserves it. Please.”
My physical and mental pain has made it impossible to control my emotions as I feel the tears I loathe, stream down my face. I’m not deserving of their patience and kindness. I just threw their son under the bus in my own desperation to get him off my back.
I’m weak and I don’t deserve to be here. Alpha males don’t cry. They don’t yelp or scream, they simply fight back until their aggressor is unconscious or dead.
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