Chapter 155
“I was horrified and truly unable to move. I saw the alpha raise his arm with the belt in his hand above his head before bringing it down on him. The sound of the belt hitting him, his screams and crying, the unrelenting rain of hits upon such a young child. It took everything I had to run to my room and bury myself into the bed.”
He struggles out of my grasp as he leans forward grabbing his ears as if he hears the child’s screams. I act quickly as I know these reactions can get nasty very quickly if not properly supported. I wrap my hands around his as I gently encourage him to let go of his ears. He’s whimpering hard at the memory of such harsh treatment towards a child and fighting hard to keep his ears covered.
“Take it easy Cole. You’re not there. Allow the grounding son. Nothing I do is meant to hurt you.”
I stick with areas that I know are uninjured, combing my hand through his hair to start with. I’m honestly surprised when he snaps out of it enough to grab a hold of me, wrapping both his arms around the one I’ve got crossed over his chest. He’s leaning hard into it with his eyes closed, a hard whine in his voice as he breaths. I continue my gentle caressing on his upper arm, keeping it light, like a feather, considering the number of shots he’s taken to this arm.
“About twenty minutes later the beta came to my room, told me the alpha demanded my presence in his office. I had a really bad feeling about going considering what I had just witnessed but I complied and followed the beta down the hall to his office. I could tell as soon as I walked in that this office wasn’t used like the standard office.
There was the desk, alpha’s chair that sat behind it and a small cabinet but the top of the desk was cleared of everything, giving me a very bad feeling. The beta grabbed me in a hard submission hold but commanded that I remain standing while the alpha talked.
Alpha told me that he could look past my physical and psychological weaknesses but he could not tolerate any type of defiance. That every wolf in his pack has been punished for their defiance the same way. The moon goddess may not punish you for defying a higher rank but he most certainly will. As the alpha, he was allowed to punish any way he chose and even though I wasn’t a member these rules pertained to me while I was a prospect under his care.
As he talked I heard two more enter the room before locking the door. I was shoved forward on to the top of the desk where I was then shackled in such a way that I couldn’t get up. Alpha reached around me and pulled my pants down to my ankles. I heard him speak to one of the ones that came in after me. He told him to go hard and fast. When alpha said ‘start’ he was to start and the ding indicated when to stop. They started shortly after.
The first one did exactly as he was told, going hard and fast without hesitation. I was able to stifle my yelps despite the panic within me. I heard a chime of sorts and there was a pause before it started again.
This next person hit harder and even faster than the first. It was obvious that this was a routine punishment for them. I couldn’t hold my yelps as my panic grew. The third was the beta. He was the one with enough force to cut me and just about every hit did. Then there was the alpha.”
He sits forward in my lap again, digging his hands into his hair and squeezing them tight. It looks as if he’s hurting himself yet no sound comes from within him until I touch his hands. A mix between a yelp and a scream startles me but I persist in touching him. I rub his hands gently until I feel him relax, pulling them away from his head as he does. He’s rocking back and forth hard and I know I have to get him back before this spirals out of control. This is the limit. If he chooses to continue I won’t stop him but I’m not asking what the alpha did. I’ve heard enough to know that authorizing that kind of punishment for defiance on a non-member is illegal in the eyes of the council and I’m almost certain sanctions would be implemented if they knew he was trying to protect a child from the same treatment.
“Cole, I need you to focus on me. My voice, my touch, my smell. Anything about me that you can grab hold of and focus on. It’s very important that you ground yourself. I’m helping as much as I can but you have to focus on being here not there.”
I wrap both my arms around him this time. One crossing his chest from his shoulder to his hip, the other around his waist. He growls loudly at the contact, the restraint of his body but I remain neutral as I know it’s a protective reaction and not one meant for me. I use the hand that’s around his waist to pet his side lightly, trying to give him positive feedback to focus on while gently encouraging him to calm down, reassuring him that it’s not happening again.
It’s as his body finally slows its fight before collapsing into me that I’m able to fully comprehend the gravity of what happened and why he’s reacting this way after the incident with Maddie at dinner.
This is what Xavier was trying to tell me about, how going to these packs weren’t a break for him. This is why these packs sent him back as they were almost as abusive as his own. They convinced him that they could help him before betraying him in the worst possible way. He trusted them enough to talk and now I know at least one of them implemented physical punishment that was uncalled for.
“I’m sorry alpha.”
I’m shocked by his whisper as I wasn’t expecting him to speak so soon after sharing such a traumatic memory let alone apologize.
“Sorry for what, Cole? You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Yes I have alpha. You’re right. I have been lying to you.”
I remain silent with his admittance to wrongdoing but I know there has to be a reason for him to first lie then admit that he’s lying.
“I’m sorry Cole but you’re going to have to explain what you’ve been lying about. I’m not angry and I won’t punish you if that’s what you’re concerned about but I need a better explanation.”
He struggles to sit-up out of my grasp but in the process his leg hits me. The hit doesn’t phase me but Cole’s yelp tells me a different story for him. He collapses back down on the bed, nearly in my lap, whimpering hard holding his leg.
“I’m sorry alpha. I tried. I swear to the moon goddess I tried. I’m sorry that I’m weak. I don’t feel good. It hurts and it keeps getting worse. I have struggled to eat all day and I wanted to tell you at dinner but things just didn’t work out. I’m sorry I can’t handle the pain anymore.”
He’s curled in a ball nearly begging for forgiveness as he agonizes in pain. I have a really bad feeling about it getting this bad so quickly after getting him out of the hospital. His head is in my lap as he whimpers hard.
“Please don’t punish me alpha. I’m sorry for lying. I’m weak and scared. I don’t know how to do this alone.”
“You’re not alone, Cole. I will help you but I need you to try to trust me.”
I can feel him shaking in my lap as I run my hand through his hair.
“Please help me. I can’t do this again.”
“Do what again?”
“Go septic.”
I pause my movements for a moment. Although we mentioned it three days ago when we found the burn to my knowledge it hasn’t been mentioned again. So why is he suddenly so concerned again?
“Cole.” I speak as reassuringly as I can to the young man.
“It’s important that you understand that nothing I do is a punishment. Considering this morning’s discovery and the amount of pain you’re in, I think it’s best that I admit you to the wing until your results come back. We asked you this morning to be honest with us. I don’t understand why you feel the need to hide your symptoms but I’m giving you another chance to come clean. Are your symptoms getting worse?”
He stiffens up badly when I remind him of this morning, of the instructions he’s been defying. I know I’m feeling way too deeply for the young man but for once my bad reputation has sent me one of the highest needs wolves within a thousand miles.
“We will be doing everything we can to help you but you are at the point, with your level of injuries, that I will be preparing a report for the council. They need to know that you are being tortured by your home pack.”
He’s starting to push himself up but he’s struggling and whimpering badly in the process. I place my hand on his shoulder stopping his struggle.
“Let me get up and help you. There’s no reason you should be suffering like this. Let’s get you sitting up again, get Damian’s shirt on you then head back to the wing. I want to help you Cole. In more ways than you’re ready to understand.”