Chapter 210
(Demetri’s POV)
Although I’m grateful that he didn’t make a fuss, his silence as we enter the banquet hall for our food is concerning me. I can’t help but look between the food on the buffet and back at him as I go through the line, grabbing all my favorites.
Jessa grabs a large plate and piles a lot more food than I’m used to seeing her eat on it. I can’t tell if she realizes that he’s yet to even pick a plate up but she certainly has enough to feed two people.
They follow me easily to the door situated in the north east corner of the building. I pull out my key card and scan it across the key fob receiver pushing the door open as I hear the lock click.
We enter the private conference room that’s separate from the rest of those in the hall. It’s a simple room, about ten feet wide by twenty feet long. The table inside is four feet by eight feet with desk chairs that provide more comfort and support than the plastic, easy to clean chairs pack members use. It’s common for me to use this room when I have visiting alphas in the territory so I know I won’t be bothered giving me the opportunity I seek for going over the main plan I have for Cole leaving his pack.
He immediately walks to the windows at the south end of the room, standing silently as he looks outside. His continued distress is evident in his hand stim as he opens and closes it rhythmically. Jessa chooses a spot at the south east end of the table to put her plate down as I drop the door stop at the bottom of the door.
“I’m going to leave the door open for a moment so we can bring some drinks in here. I need you to stay in here while we get them, Cole.”
“Yes sir.”
He responds without looking at me. I motion to Jessa to follow me back out, I know she wants to stay and comfort him but I also know he needs a moment alone to adjust to this new room.
While I have not purposely challenged him by putting him in unfamiliar settings we have had to enter enough different situations that I’ve come to recognize his needs, space and time is one of them.
Jessa and I grab several bottled drinks from the buffet and Jessa grabs a protein drink that I assume is for Cole before heading back to the conference room. Cole is in the same place we left him, the only difference is he’s pacing, his squeezing tic still holding the rhythm he had when we walked out.
“Cole, come sit with us. I know you didn’t grab a plate but I got extra. We can share.”
Jessa’s pleas seem to fall upon deaf ears as he continues his short, silent walk between the two walls.
“Cole, talk to me son. I know what happened with William was rough but I need your help understanding why you're still having such a hard time recovering.”
“It’s not just William receiving those shots. I’ve been in a bad place all morning.” He whispers after a long pause.
“Talk to me. I can’t help you process what’s going on and any triggers that you may have had this morning if you don’t tell me about them.”
“William was the only trigger, sir. The rest just has to do with the approaching end of my time here. I’ve never had a countdown before. Forward knowledge that it was coming to an end. With all the other packs, the alpha simply consulted with the doctor to verify I could travel. If I was stable enough to do so, they would show me to my room. I’d receive the instructions to pack my stuff, that everyone from Red Fang was leaving after lunch.”
“Were you injured whenever they sent you away?”
“Every time I talk I get punished for lying because they couldn’t validate my claims.”
“So you have increasing anxiety simply from knowing when you’re going to return. This is a decision that you are making.”
“I’ve already explained it to you!”
I’m shocked into a momentary silence as Jessa shrinks down into her seat. Her sensitivity towards angry alphas is going to make this fated bond a lot harder to establish between them.
“Yes, Cole. You have explained why you feel it’s necessary for you to return. That doesn’t make it any easier for me to let you go.”
I pause as Jessa makes it obvious that she wants to run from the room. I intercept her, gently pulling her into my embrace cradling her head against my chest. I don’t need to be an empath to feel the fear she has for her mate. They barely know each other and I can imagine that he’s going to start distancing himself from everyone here in preparation for his return home.
“It’s not something anyone who’s gotten to know you wants. Even Jessa, who doesn’t really know you, fears your return home.”
“It’s not a home that he’s returning to.” She whispers angrily.
“Let’s go sit back down. He would never hurt you. I don’t think he’d ever hurt anyone outside of self defense.” I try to reassure her despite her deeply ingrained fears of angry alphas.
“He looked for you this morning.”
“I know.” She sighs. “I caught his scent in the hall after Dina left with Sally. It caught me off guard because he’s never sought me out before.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just….”
His apology trails off as his agitation grows.
“I’m tired of being so damn weak!” He yells through his growl.
I watch him closely as I hold Jessa, her hands gripping tightly to the sides of my shirt.
“You need to resist the urge Cole.” I warn gently as his hands come towards his head.
Just as quickly he throws them down again, growling loudly again. His pacing continues at a faster rate as he tones down his desire to scream and growl. I turn my attention to Jessa, not realizing how deep her fear runs has put me in a difficult situation as I have two highly emotional wolves to help through their anxiety attacks.
“I’m sorry Jessa. If I had known this was going to happen then I would have approached this meeting very differently. I know that I haven’t spent enough time with you for you to trust me but I do believe you understand that I won’t hurt you.”
To my surprise I can feel her head nod against my chest.
“Cole will not hurt you. It will take time for either of you to trust the other but the only way Cole can be a protector is with a clean slate.”
“You think he’s a protector?” She whispers nervously as her breathing starts returning to normal.
“I can’t prove it yet but yes I do. Just like I firmly believed you were an empath based on Angela’s description of your behavior.”
“Do you still believe that I’m an empath even though I can’t link?”
“Yes.” I reassure her gently. “Although it’s unusual for an empath to lose abilities I believe that there is a medical explanation for your loss. I just haven’t had the heart to put you under that much stress for something that’s just a mild inconvenience. It’s easy enough to reach you on the phone.”
Despite his growing anger and frustration, Jessa has managed to pull herself together enough to leave my hold.
“You need him as much as he needs you.”
She nods silently before making her way cautiously to her seat. She pulls two pill bottles from the pockets of her scrubs and places them on the table as she sits down.
“Cole, I know our conversation got a little derailed but it would help us both if you could tell us what’s going on with you.”
“I don’t have a choice.” He whispers lowly towards the floor.
“You’re talking about returning to Red Fang.”
“You said that it’s a decision that I’m making. You don’t understand that I have no choice. I have never had a choice in anything.” He pauses with an exhausted whine beneath his voice.
“I was eight when my mom stopped taking me to the doctor for standard physicals. The previous year was the first time the family’s physician wanted to talk to me alone. He tried so hard to separate me from my mom and she knew I wanted to go with him. I wasn’t allowed to make that choice. I got dragged out of there instead. My siblings got to go play while I was taken for a meeting with my father. My mother was so mad that I wanted to go with him that she held me to the desk after he forced me to undress. Goddess did he lay into me that afternoon. ‘I will beat any desire to think for yourself right out of you!’ he screamed at me with every strike he made. That evening I received round two because I refused to sit at the table, I wanted to stand. It was too painful to sit and I knew if I whimpered, yelped or cried that I would receive the same. Hell, if I had refused to come to the table he would have belted me again.”
“It didn’t matter what you chose, did it?” Jessa speaks for the first time since sitting down.
“I don’t get choices, alpha. He’s already started the process of making me a feral. You and I both know what that means.”
The sadness in his voice is heartbreaking leaving me at a loss for how to console him.
“I know after William triggered the memories of receiving the steroids at such a young age combined with the difficulties you’re having with there only being eight weeks left makes this a very difficult time to talk about a plan but for you to have any confidence in what needs to happen to bring you back we need to talk.”
For the first time since entering the room he looks up from the floor. His dark navy eyes, fearful, as he looks into mine. It’s only for a moment but it’s enough to tell me that I’ve got his attention. With a deep breath and a small sigh the young man finally takes a seat at the table.
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