Chapter 215
My voice is whiny and child-like as I beg her to hear me out. I adjust my hold so it’s not restraining as I feel her relax again.
“I guess the best place to start is when I was fifteen. I ended up in the hospital for six weeks shortly after my birthday because of septicemia. When I got out dad wanted to send me to school but the doctor told him no. That I was still healing and my immune system was decimated by all the medication I was on. They encouraged him to put me in virtual school but he forced the school to fail me instead.
During the time I was out of school, I ran into Allison. More accurately, she ran into me. I ended up taking her to my room which is the only way she figured out who I was. We chatted for a bit and became friends. Six months later, around my birthday I got called into my dad’s office. That’s when I found out she was eighteen. He had seen us hanging out together and he assumed that we were dating as he essentially gave me permission to….”
I stop and take several deep breaths as I know admitting even this is hard.
“Cole.”
She touches my face gently as I find the will to keep going.
“He gave me permission to rape her. He gave me a master key to get in her room and a small box with condoms and restraints. Told me how to use them. She avoided me after that meeting with him so two weeks later I went to her room.”
Jessa is shaking in my arms and I can only imagine that she’s thinking the worst about me.
“I didn’t do anything to her, Jessa.” I whisper sadly near her ear.
“I sat on her bed until she woke up. We talked for a little while before I slept on her bedroom floor. We dated for three months shortly after that but she left me because I was afraid of doing anything intimate with her.
I was seventeen when I dated Rebecca and Rachel. I only dated them for three months each and Rebecca was a nightmare. Both of them forced kissing on me and I left both of them when they tried to get into my pants.”
“Why was Rebecca a nightmare?”
“While we were dating she made false claims that I was abusing her. Five or six months after I left her she claimed that she was pregnant and that I had raped her.”
“You were punished because of her.”
“Yes. Many times. My father gave her a month to decide what she wanted to do with the baby. He dragged me to his office, chained me to his desk and belted me every day of that month. On her last day to make a decision the main pack doctor in the wing brought her to my father’s office. He had just finished with me. To my fortune he allowed me to get dressed before letting them in. Dr. Johnston reported that she had never been pregnant. When she argued that she had miscarried he refuted her claim and repeated that she had never been pregnant.
My dad dismissed the doctor and commanded me to watch. My only choice was sitting or standing but I couldn’t leave or make a sound. He knew I was in a lot of pain and that I wouldn’t fight. Rebecca had just turned eighteen and was very cocky even with the alpha. It was the first time he forced me to watch someone my own age get belted.”
“What did he do?” I stiffen slightly as I was hoping to skip that.
“He forced her against the desk. She didn’t really fight him even after he explained her punishment. Her age on her bare ass plus one for every time she lied about me abusing her and raping her. In total he came up with twenty-five.
She laughed so hard she didn’t notice when he pulled her pants down to her ankles and picked up the belt. He hit her fast and hard five times before he paused. He told her since she wasn’t taking it seriously those first five didn’t count. Without another word he put everything he had into twenty-five more hits. He belted me again after she left because I covered my ears and turned away.”
I pause a moment, leaning into Jessa. Her warm breath against my neck giving me the ground alpha spoke about that first week I was here.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to go that deep into the memory of my dating. Alpha knows both more and less than that.”
“What do you mean? Why would alpha need to know about who you dated?”
“He knows more about Allison than what I’ve shared with you. I was trying to keep it short but ended up detailing more about Rebecca to you than I had planned. You’ve never been a part of the prospect physicals?”
“I’ve only been here three years and in that time alpha has only included me when he felt that they had an underlying condition or were lying about something. This year was the first time he asked me to go to Crimson General with him and do blood work on them.”
“Alpha’s never done a sexual activity interview on you?” I just about whisper the question.
“No, and I’ve never heard him interview anyone about it either.”
“When I told him I was a virgin he scrapped the pre planned questions and asked me to tell him of my relationships. That’s why he knows more about Allie. I never told him about Rebecca being punished just that she accused me of raping her.”
“I don’t know the details of the rumors. Damian and alpha both refused to tell me. I’m guessing that this is trying to dispute the rapist rap but what about the pedophile one.”
There’s an edge to her voice that has unnerved me in a bad way but I opened this conversation so I know I need to see it through. I whine without thinking as she sits up out of my arms taking her comfort with her.
“Those rumors started when I was seventeen.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Her tone has gotten angry and I can’t help but become submissive even towards her. I sit up in the bed as she starts pacing the floor.
“Jessa, please. I can’t talk freely with you when you're angry.”
“Lucas is the only one that was willing to tell me anything. He said that you were a rapist and a pedophile. So if the rapist part isn’t true then it must mean the pedophile one is.”
I sigh hard as I run my hands through my hair. This isn’t going at all like I had planned.
“Jessa please, tell me what Lucas told you.”
“What else could there be? He said you’re a rapist and pedophile. How can there be more to it than that?”
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