Chapter 83
I reach out to my youngest, gently taking her chin in my hand as her pain filled eyes meet mine.
“Make it go away. Please daddy, it hurts.”
Madilyn whines as her sobs renew. I open the bottle of Ativan and take two of the soft dissolving pills out. Lilly has never seen me take medication unless I was injured and cocks her head to one side as I place one whole pill under my tongue before breaking the second in half.
“Lynnie baby, I need you to open your mouth and lift your tongue.”
Her sobs have calmed enough for her to comply and I place the half a pill in her mouth.
“It’s okay.” I nod and smile gently as she closes her mouth. “It will melt away. You shouldn’t taste anything, you just need to swallow the saliva that builds in your mouth.”
Madilyn nods silently as Lilly looks at me again, this time there’s worry in her eyes as I do the same thing with the Zofran.
It’s after I put the second medication in Madilyn’s mouth that I slide my hands under her arms. I wait for Lilly to loosen her grip before bringing to my chest, gently encouraging her to lay on my shoulder.
Instinctively, she settles into the spot giving her the best access to my scent but I know the medication will take time to take effect and I’m feeling guilty that I didn’t catch on sooner.
“Ow, ow, ow. My tummy. Make it stop.” Madilyn wails as she tries to curl into a ball in my arms.
“No, no baby. Don’t curl up.” I soothe as I use my hand to gently block her legs. “Grab my shirt Lynnie. Squeeze it hard.”
I feel her little hands turn into fists as she cries into my shoulder.
“Follow my count.”
I whisper as I hold her tight to my chest knowing my body heat will act as a natural heating pad for her. She follows my lead as I gently slow down her breathing.
I know I owe Lilly more of an explanation than I’ve already given but I want to comfort Madilyn who is even more lost than Lilly.
“Is this why you said you thought it was a curse?”
She nearly whispers as I slowly rock Madilyn. Her fists are still gripping my shirt tightly but at least her sobs have quieted into soft whimpers. I nod as I start quietly explaining what I never thought I would need to explain.
“I’m not certain how old I was when it started. I just remember that I would suddenly have a queasy feeling in my stomach for a day before going into cramping and throwing up. When I was young my parents always thought it was a stomach virus because it would only last a few days before it disappeared. I was in school when it started happening more frequently, lasting longer and becoming more painful. They didn’t understand what was going on and the doctor couldn’t find any evidence of illness so they started punishing me for it instead of supporting me through the painful cramps. They thought that I was trying to get out of school even though I liked school and wanted to go.
I got a bit more sympathy from the school nurse but eventually that waned as well. I was ten when I made the correlation between dad bringing a sick, injured or abused wolf into the territory and my intense and sudden illness. I attempted to tell dad about it for two years but the more I tried to convince him of what was going on with me the angrier he got with me. It was a hard two and a half years.
My dad had always been close with all four of us but my constant sickness wore him down a lot. It was two in the morning when a sudden need to hurl woke me from my sleep. I spent an hour in the bathroom throwing up and I was in so much pain that it took everything I had to get up and go to my parents’ room. But I didn’t find the comfort I was looking for. Instead my father was livid that I woke him up over it.”
I stop my story as I feel Madilyn’s whimpers increase and her feet dig into me as if she’s trying to scramble up a tree. I place my hand on her head.
“Try to relax Lynnie. I know it hurts.”
I soothe while I wince as my own cramps start up. Madilyn starts sobbing again, taking her arms from around me, she starts rubbing her abdomen roughly with her fists desperately trying to relieve the ache from within her.
“Lilly, grab her hands before she starts clawing.”
My voice is calm but urgent. I’m grateful when Lilly doesn’t ask any questions. Fear is in her eyes as Madilyn fights against her mom’s interference.
As soon as her tiny arms are wrapped around my neck I lay on the bed, rolling towards my stomach covering her flailing body with mine. Everything about her body language tells me how much she needs to scream.
“It’s okay to scream, baby. I’m so sorry that your first experience with this is one of the worst I’ve seen in a long time but I promise I know what’s going on and I will help you through it.”
Lilly turns away from us and holds her ears as Madilyn screams, her tiny body simply can’t handle the intense cramps that being so close to a wolf in need creates.
Lilly is crying as Madilyn settles down into heavy sobs. She is utterly exhausted leaving her limp beneath me.
“Come sit down, she needs both of us right now.”
I encourage Lilly as I rub my thumb against Madilyn’s cheek.
“I was twelve and a half the first time a wolf in as bad of shape as Cole, came into our territory.”
“Is that when you woke your father in the middle of the night?”
Lilly’s voice quivers as she sits at Madilyn's feet.
“Yes, and as I started saying he was pissed when I woke him. Screaming in pain, all I could do was beg him not to hurt them, that they weren’t an ordinary rogue. He yelled at me. Told me there were no rogues on his land and he was tired of my lies. My mom tried to reason with him but he yelled at her. That since nothing else had helped me, no doctor, no councilor, no one, that it was time he did what everyone kept telling him not to do but he just knew would solve the problem. I knew what he was going to do but the pain was so bad that I simply stayed huddled against their bed, begging for him to reconsider through my sobs.
My dad had never used physical punishment on me before, unlike my brothers and sister, I tried to stay out of trouble. He picked me up off the bed the roughest he had ever done and threw me over his lap. He pulled my pants and underwear completely off my body, completely ignoring my every plea. He spanked me. With his bare hand at three in the morning he put all his frustration into my bare ass, adding to the misery I was already in.
I screamed and begged for him to stop, that I wasn’t lying but he just growled at me. The angriest I’ve ever heard before shoving me off into the ground.
I laid there bawling, thinking that I was done, until he picked me up and threw me on the bed. Mom begged him to stop. She had never seen me in so much pain and she tried to convince him that the pain she saw was real but he didn’t listen.
He put his knee against my neck and held my hands in his as he hit me with his belt. Growling about me lying while being punished for lying. After the third hit with the belt, he froze.
The closer the rogue got to the pack house the worse I felt. Just like Madilyn, I started screaming. I couldn’t stand the twisted knots forming in my stomach. I started fighting against him as I felt him pick me up.
My mind was running on pure instinct trying to get away from him. He took my hits and kicks as he brought me against his chest. He gave me the directive to stop. Surprisingly, I managed to listen.
It was as another wave swept over me that I understood the change. He went from beating my ass to holding me as tight as he could against his chest, one hand pressing my lower back into him while he used the other to tuck my nose into his neck.
When the rogue arrived my cramps got even worse. I started dry heaving and I apologized for it. Swearing the whole time that it wasn’t fake, begging him to believe me.
Without a word he stood up off his bed, covered me with a blanket and went downstairs to the clinic. As the rogue’s fear grew, the greater my distress became. The doctors were working on her when my dad walked into the room.
Everything got so much worse that all I could do was grab dad’s shirt and squeeze. He removed the blanket from around me prompting the doctor to ask questions that dad never answered. I received two shots in my leg before he covered me again and left. He laid in bed with me until my alarm went off two hours later.”
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
