Chapter 203
“You will stay exactly where you are, how you are. You will remain standing. You will not yelp, scream, cry or whimper. You will endure what you deserve in silence. Do you understand my expectations?”
He nods his head as his tears drop to the floor. He has no idea how much this is hurting me but I couldn’t come up with any other way to help him with this.
I slowly step into him. I can see his stress increase as I close in. I push his slumping body up so he stands straight before wrapping my arms around him. He yelps and screams at my contact, completely confused he pushes hard to get away. I quickly grab his falling pants just before I command his cooperation.
“You will submit.”
He yelps again as I place my other hand on the back of his neck.
“You will silence yourself. The only thing you’re allowed is to grab ahold of anything you can and squeeze.”
His hands immediately tighten around my shirt as his yelps quiet. I change the position of my hand from his neck to his head and silently convince him to lay upon my shoulder allowing me to adjust his clothing.
I remain quiet as I hold him. My own tears falling knowing the damage I have done to his trust in me. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t hit him. He believes that I am. That at any moment my hold will become painfully violent and there’s nothing he can do about it.
While I’m silently cursing his father for such cruelty I’m also thanking goddess Diana that Alpha Redmen can only hear what’s going on as I don’t think Cole could ever recover if I were forced to physically punish him.
I hold him gently, silently waiting for something about him to change telling me his father has left him. It feels like forever even though I know it’s only been a few minutes.
As I pet the back of his head, I can feel his fear radiating through my fingers. He’s starting to whimper again and I know he’s quickly falling apart. I take a chance, not knowing if his father is actually gone.
“Cole, you need to give me a sign that he’s gone. If he’s still with you I need you to give me a solid squeeze.”
He changed his grip on my shirt from solid to grasping a minute or two ago. I’m hoping that it’s his signal that he’s trying to recover from a mental onslaught he should have never had to endure. I give him several seconds before trying again.
“Can you verbally tell me he’s gone?”
“Yes.” He whispers.
“He is gone?” I hate repeating myself but I have found it to be necessary for emphasizing what I need with wolves like Cole.
“Yes.” He manages again but with less composure.
“I’m sorry, Cole. You did not deserve in any way what you just went through.”
I change my hold, cuddling him even closer to me as his whines increase.
“I know this was hard and I don’t think getting you to talk is going to be easy but it is necessary. I need you to tell me what’s been happening to you this week. I know you’re bound to have a lot of emotions that you normally don’t get to express after such a hard thing happens so I am pushing you again to spar with me.”
“No, no. Please I can’t handle the panic that comes from hitting on top of this.”
He pushes himself up off of me and this time I let him go. His gaze is stuck to the ground as he shakes his head.
“Alpha please, I can’t.”
“Will you talk freely about what happened? So far the most information I’ve gotten from you has been while you’re angry. A lot of truth rears its ugly head when you’re angry. We have your pads now. Angela and Julie will be there as well to help you through the fallout. Anyone here that wants to come can.”
“I asked Julie to clear out the annex so it’s private outside of who you bring over.”
Angela adds in. I had actually forgotten she was standing there.
“I’m not going to hurt you and you’re not going to hurt me. I know you don’t like this method but I think the benefits are far greater than the risks. Damian and Parker I want you scoring offensive tactics this time. Patrick has already scored him once so this will be good practice for the two of you. Patrick, you can choose to include Dominic if you wish but I need you to score defensive tactics. I’m hoping we don’t have to do this again as it is insanely difficult for him to go through.”
‘Which is why you asked us to prepare for a mod 72.’
Angela speaks in my head. I look her way, in her eyes as the only recognition of her private statement.
“Please alpha. I can’t do this.”
“I need you to talk.”
He shakes his head hard, going silent as he does.
“Take a seat for a few minutes as we get things cleaned up then we’re going to head over to the annex.”
He sits in his seat but he’s nearly back to the panicked state he was in before I was forced to play his father’s game. I allow everyone time to clear their own plate and clear off the food. We don’t normally deal with the food but I had the forward thought to give my normal help, Amber, the rest of the night off after she put dinner on the table.
It only takes a few more minutes to clean everything up. The girls have decided that they want to come. They have always enjoyed watching me in a good sparring match and to see Cole in action seems to be a treat they don’t want to miss even though Cole is desperate to avoid it. As difficult as what he says will be to explain to them my hope is that having the girls there will give him a higher desire to fight blacking out. I have no doubt that he will not hurt them.
Lucas asks me through the link if he could come as well. I give him permission but only as long as he stays silent and out of the way. He can help his brother watching offense even though he won’t be given another opportunity to score prospects for two years.
It takes me some time to convince him to get up but once he stands from his seat, Cole starts making his way to the west wing with me following behind him. Everyone else will start over to the annex shortly.
Once again the young man is eerily silent as he makes the five minute walk over. As Angela mentioned, the annex has cleared out with only Julie and Jessa inside upon our arrival. I’m shocked when Cole turns and tries to run out the door less than ten feet inside the building.
“I can’t do this alpha.”
He whines again as I wrap my arms around him.
“Yes you can. It’s going to be similar to what we did before, only this time I can swing back.”
I explain gently as I rub the back of his head.
“No alpha. Jessa’s here. I hurt her badly last time I was angry. I can’t do that again.”
“Yes, Jessa has a dark past she has to work through as well but she needs to know the type of stuff you’re dealing with, both past and present. We will support her the same as we will support you through this difficult time. We need to know what your father has been doing to you for the last week or longer.”
He whines hard but I know he’s relented to what I have set him up to do. I give him as much time as he needs in my arms, slacking my hold on him only when he starts lifting his head.
“Head to the supply closet with me, I’ll hand you your pads for the waist up.”
He gives me a slight nod but remains silent again. It's so hard to see an alpha so submissive. Pushing him this far is damaging but his unwillingness to fight harder than he does against it is also very telling of how he’s been treated.
He stops outside the door as I step inside, emerging a minute later with his head and chest pads as well as his gloves. He takes them gingerly, almost as if he’s handling a bomb, before heading to the ring. He kicks his shoes off on the edge of the mat before stepping onto it.
He slowly ducks his head into the chest pads first. It is made similar to a vest with the front and sides heavily padded with half an inch of rebond foam on top of a quarter inch of high density foam. The foam is split into two inch squares allowing for flexible movement while protecting his chest and ribs. The hook and loop straps make it easy to adjust the fit but tend to be a little difficult to adjust on your own since his strap in the back. It’s not surprising when Cole leaves the pad open, simply hanging over his shoulders.
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