Chapter 257
His eyes are wide with my explanation but he slowly removes his shirt as I’ve requested.
“Put it on my desk.” I keep my calm helping him along when he appears lost.
“Please.” He pleads helplessly.
“It’s okay.” I try to comfort him.
“No sir. It’s not okay. I’m not okay.”
“I know. That’s why I’m doing this. Don’t step away.”
I instruct as I close the distance between us. He accepts my embrace as I pull him into me again. There’s one test that I’ve never done with him as I’ve respected his sensitivity towards his back being touched but today I’m using that sensitivity to break him down in the hopes that he’ll be better able to handle leaving. It could also lead him into a complete breakdown requiring me to place him on a mental health hold but I’m taking my chances.
“What are you going to do to me?” He asks as he struggles to lay his head on my shoulder.
“I’m going to touch your back.” I explain as I guide his head down and pet the back of his head.
“Please, sir. You don’t know how it feels to me.” He whimpers as he squeezes my shirt in reaction to my first touch on his left shoulder.
“My touch will be light and gentle but you are right, you will need to let me know if it hurts you as I don’t know what you feel.”
I speak as I slowly run my fingertips from his shoulder to his waist on the outermost edge of his back. He shifts uncomfortably but doesn’t make another sound. I take a step backwards, pulling him closer to the bedroom before moving my fingers about an inch towards his spine. This second spot is harder but still tolerated without much of a whimper. I keep up the pattern until we’re standing next to the bed and I’m within an inch of my fingers running directly along his spine. I place my fingers on his neck preparing to go straight down along the bone but for the first time in ten minutes he can’t hold his tongue.
“No alpha, this does hurt me. It’s been done enough for me to know without you doing it too. No. I can’t let you. No!”
He’s shouting and fighting by the end of his statement. I let him push and hit me; bark, scream and yelp as he struggles to get away but my grip remains firm. I guide him to the bed as his fight tires and this time, we lay chest to chest.
I’m highly contemplating putting him on a mental health hold as choosing to return to your home pack should never be this devastating. I allow him to calm in my hold for several minutes before I dare speak again.
“I don’t want you to leave. Please Cole. Stay with me where it’s safe. Where you don’t have to go through the torture of knowing the pain of being beaten, hungry and unjustly hated. What happened to your back? What happened to you when you were fifteen? So many times you have mentioned fifteen that it’s obvious to me that something major happened.”
“I can’t talk about it.” He’s starting to come around quicker than I anticipated.
“Why not?”
“The day I tell you about my fifteenth birthday is the day I will need a true 72.”
I can’t help but remain silent with his confession. He confirmed my suspicion that something bad happened but now I know it was beyond devastating. I know we have part of the story, he was hospitalized with septicemia but he’s never said how he contracted it making me think deeper into what he has said.
His first shift was extremely painful. Based on his description it had to be traumatically painful for it to take a day or longer for him to recover from shifting from wolf to human. Combine that with his immediate fear of septicemia when Angela discovered infection in the burn around his leg and I’m starting to believe that the scar on his back happened around that time, his fifteenth birthday.
I sit up next to him on the bed, petting his head, patiently waiting for him to start moving as well. He pushes himself gingerly from the mattress to a sitting position but he’s still tense and fearful.
“I’m sorry Cole. I was hoping that getting you to yell and scream would release the fear that’s building up but you don’t seem to be any more relaxed.” He shakes his head.
“The only thing that will help me right now is Valium or Ativan.” He admits quietly with his back towards me.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“I wanted to get a better idea of your plan. If you had a time frame you think you could work towards so I have a better idea of when to start looking for you.”
“Is crossing your border unannounced going to be a problem?”
“No. I’ve already started putting together additional training classes with all of my warriors and border patrol members due to the disastrous tracking skills that happened when Willow was under attack.
Your picture will be shown in all the classes as well as strict instructions on how to interact with you and bring you to Angela in the medical wing. Both of us will be alerted but your first stop when you get here will be the med wing.”
He whines quietly but doesn’t speak what he’s thinking.
“I’ve never been this close to the six month deadline my father gives. He’s always said six months but the date he gives is usually the last day of the sixth month so there’s usually a few days to a week built in.”
“What was your date this time?” I slip in while he’s silent.
“July 31st.” I nod even though he can’t see me.
“The timing depends a lot on how bad my welcome home party is. If it’s just dad or just Kristoph then I should be well enough to run and handle being caught by the end of the year.”
“That’s your goal? To run in the middle of winter?”
I’m shocked that he wouldn’t try for even a slightly warmer time. He nods, staying silent for a moment.
“I’m returning at the end of July. I’ve been preparing myself for the one meal a day I can usually steal from the kitchen around midnight for the last two months which has resulted in me losing weight again which will make it easier for him to break me but will keep me from getting sick when I’m forced onto such a reduced calorie diet.
My normal welcoming takes me three to four months to heal from depending on how much help I have from Jamie, Olivia and the other littles. Aiming for the end of the year will give me two months to try and get more than my usual amount to eat which will aid in my healing when I’m in the hospital.”
“Why can’t you just stay?” I blurt out frustratingly.
“As much as it doesn’t make sense, I need my laptop. I need to explore my father’s computer one last time. There is something on his computer that my wolf saw, that he recognized as critical to our freedom that I didn’t see. I have tried for months to access his network but all I’ve managed to do is access his big brother account.”
“I’m surprised that he hasn’t changed his password yet.” I add in with a slight chuckle. “Normally those programs will send an alert when it’s accessed on a different computer.”
“It did but you need to remember that I’ve done this before and I’ve already countered the alert.”
“So he changed it and you hacked it again?” I can’t help but ask. He chuckles lightly.
“Something like that.”
He skirts the question but that’s not a big deal for me, as long as I have the ability to continue what he’s started while he’s away.
“While I was really hoping to converse a little longer I just got a link that the van has arrived. We need to finish getting all yours and Jamie’s stuff out to the porch.” I state sadly.
“I’m sorry alpha.”
The familiar waiver in his voice is all I need to hear. I make my way around the bed to him.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
