Chapter 262
The very breath I breathe is knocked right out of me as he has never commanded me to do anything. Even his father has made a strangled growl in response to his statement.
“Even though you are an alpha, I am commanding you to come back.” His tone has softened but the seriousness in his voice has not.
“I will return or I will die trying.” I somehow manage to whisper.
Luna steps up next as Alpha Damian steps back wrapping her arm around me as Madilyn grabs my neck. I can feel Madilyn trying to wrap herself around me. Luna loosens her hold as I timidly take the young pup into my arms.
“No! Don’t leave!” She starts off yelling.
“You don’t deserve your daddy. He hurts you when you’re a good wolf. Please stay. My daddy can be your daddy. I promise I’ll share him.”
She barely makes it through the last two sentences before breaking down crying. I hold her tightly as I look at luna’s face, her cheeks wet with tears.
“I’m sorry.”
Is all I can manage to whisper as she takes the little one back. She places her hand on my cheek, encouraging me to look at her.
“You must believe in yourself, find your inner strength. You do not deserve what you are receiving and while facing the change you need to make will be terrifying deep down you know it’s the best thing you will ever do. Do not let the fear of the unknown keep you from returning. I can tell you from experience that you will never regret living here.”
I nod silently as she steps away holding Madilyn close to her body as she fights to get back to me. Alpha holds out his hand just like his son, my hand is shaking hard as I reach out to his.
“I know your trust has waned over the months but it’s important that you hang on to that small amount of time where you felt you could believe in me, trust me. It will be your belief in a better life, one without pain and fear, that will power you through the toughest part of coming back. I am the real thing Cole. I will not abandon you. I will give you until April to leave on your own. Although I haven’t taken the time to explain them, I do have many things in place to help you through the worst of it but you must have faith in the help you receive. I look forward to seeing you again, my son.”
His voice is so gentle and sincere that I can’t hold back my tears.
“Why does it feel like I’m losing my family?” I accidentally whisper.
“For the same reasons it feels like I’m losing a son.”
I lean into his hand as he brings it to my cheek, wiping the tears as they fall.
“Hang on to that feeling Cole. You will understand it better once you return but let it motivate you not to forget what you have here. I will be looking for you come the New Year.”
He steps quickly into my space wrapping me in a tight hug. The tiny arms of a whimpering Madisyn, joining his around my neck. Just as luna left Madilyn with me, alpha does the same for Madisyn. She whimpers quietly into my neck as I hold her. Unlike Lynnie, Maddie stays quiet. It seems she has accepted the fate I have chosen.
I look up as several more pairs of feet approach the crowd I’m already surrounded by. The beta and his son as well as Alpha Cullen are all approaching the crowd.
“I lost track of time. I was worried that we had missed you.”
Beta explains briefly. Despite his initial rejection of me he looks sad to see me go. I guess he has indeed come around towards my favor. I take his hand for a gentle shake.
“We will meet again.”
He speaks with confidence despite the sadness in his voice. All I can do is nod silently in agreement knowing it won’t be soon enough. He steps back allowing Beta Parker to step up, taking my hand next.
“I wish I had gotten to see more of you. Dad was quite impressed with what little he got to see.”
I smile modestly at his compliment. He steps away allowing the last one to approach.
“My name is Dominic.”
He states as he reaches his hand out. I take his hand but cock my head confused as to his need to introduce himself as I’m leaving.
“I’m sorry we worked so little together. After you went into the hospital Demetri had to make even more changes to your run which left me out but I wish you the best of luck and I hope to see you return. You’d be an asset to this pack no matter what job Demetri finds. Trust him. He will give you everything you deserve and more.”
“Thank you.”
For some reason that seemed to be the only appropriate response.
“Are you ready? I think this has taken longer than Delta Ashman was planning on.”
Jamie mentions the true ending of our time here. I turn to see Jessa, I can feel her emotional pain as I pull her into my arms.
“My channeling knows no distance. I will keep trying to connect with you. In your sleep to start with. Keep your faith strong and your will to fight stronger. I will be waiting for you.”
I duck my head down against her shoulder, taking in her scent one last time.
“Stay still.”
She whispers as I feel her wrap something around my neck. I grab her shirt tightly as I stifle my desire to yelp. I struggle to remind myself that she told me she had something for me. Having been strangled by Kristoph until I passed out on several occasions, I know the only thing that will keep me grounded is the scent she promised is on it.
I breathe deeply through my nose as I throw all my concentration onto Jessa and what she’s doing. The more I shove the flashback aside the more I realize how soft it is, like a fleece blanket only smaller. I can feel her hands tying a loose knot before tucking the ends under the collar of my shirt.
“It triggered something didn’t it?” She whispers sadly.
“Thank you for this.”
I try to distract from her question.
“It means a lot to me that you would think ahead for something I need. Especially after I’ve been so nasty the last week or two.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“My departure is hard enough. Anything touching my neck is hard for me. You don’t need to have anything else weighing on you. Thank you for this. It will help me a lot over the weekend since we won’t reach Red Fang until Monday. It will give me time to hide it so Jamie can get it back to me.”
“Take care of yourself the best you can.”
She backs up as I lift my head, letting go of her shirt in the process. I cup her face in my hands, wiping the tears from her face as they fall. I tilt her head back slowly, testing her willingness to trust not knowing what I want. I press my lips to hers, keeping my pressure soft giving her a chance to reject it.
She wraps her hands around my head, pulling me in gently. I know she wants more but it seems having the twins so close has created the same modesty in her that I’ve always held. We only hold it for a moment before letting each other go.
“I guess I’ll be hearing you in my dreams?” She nods her head.
“It’s been a while since I’ve stretched my channel that far but I know that I can. I will let you know my part in the plan when you get closer to running.”
All I can do is nod before finally letting her go. It’s as I start towards the van that Jamie gives Micayla a kiss goodbye and joins me by my side. It’s as we climb into our seats that alpha stops Delta Ashman from closing the doors.
“I know that eating is hard but Lilly still fixed some light snacks that tend to help with nausea.” He explains as he hands Jamie a large lunch box.
“Take care of yourselves. I’m going to be busy on my end but that’s mainly going to be trying to create a backup plan. You have until April, Cole. If I don’t hear from Dr. Carter that you’ve disappeared from your pack by the end of March I will find a way to come after you, that’s a promise son.”
I nod as he finally steps back allowing the doors to shut. It doesn’t take long for a grumbling Delta Ashman to get into the driver’s seat and click his seatbelt into the receiver.
“You have until we hit the main road to change your mind.”
His more patient demeanor is quickly melting away now that he’s outside of alpha’s presence. It’s as the van starts bouncing down the gravel drive, entering the heavily wooded area that runs the half mile between the pack house and the main road, that the tears fall again.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
Jamie tries to comfort me, rubbing my arm.
“No it won’t.”
I whisper towards the window as I watch the trees slowly pass by.
“Then why are you returning?”
“Truthfully, I don’t know. My wolf has been persistent that there are things that I need to find, that I need to know. Something that will ultimately destroy our pack as we know it. We’ve seen it before but I missed the significance of it and I need to go back and find it. My biggest issue now is figuring out what it is I’m looking for.”
The van stops briefly at the end of the road, easing its way on to the smooth blacktop of the paved road. It’s only a few moments later that I feel the van turn left, heading north for the long journey home.
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