Chapter 118
(Cole’s POV)
I can’t believe I’m doing it again. Every pack I’ve been to has done this at some point. They act like they like me. They ask questions trying to get to know more about me or my pack but these questions only serve to do one thing, to break me down.
Olivia’s screams from being belted by my father, a year after we first met, are tearing through my already sensitive head. The migraine I had when I arrived two nights ago had just started to subside when Lucas’s multiple kicks to my face brought it right back.
Madilyn’s gentle snores against my neck seem to be the only thing keeping me from a full on breakdown having such a conversation creates. I push my plate away, cringing as I turn my head into her neck, desperate to keep the innocent little one from experiencing the chaos, the demon that threatens to break loose from within me.
“Cole?” I barely hear the alpha’s gentle voice. My breathing is tight and fast making my ribs scream in pain.
“Her screams, alpha. Goddess, why can I still hear her screams?”
I finally gasp out trying to make sense of the flashback plaguing my mind.
“Who Cole, who do you hear?”
“Olivia.” I whisper as I strain against the sights and sounds flashing within my head.
“When did you help Olivia after she had been belted?”
Alpha’s voice is soft and patient. Something in the way he speaks to me is helping me to focus on the present, something no one has managed to do before.
“About a year after I first found her in my room. Alpha Redmen’s office is not sound proofed. He prefers everyone hears the agony other’s endure. I know her screams and I heard her inside my room. I waited until it sounded like they were traveling before I stepped out into the hall.
I’m not certain where she was headed but she ran right into me. I heard her before I saw her and I had dropped to one knee as she rounded the corner to my room. Blinded by terror she ran right into me, pounding her fists into my shoulders. Pushing with everything she had against me trying to get away. I held her close with one hand while I used the other to gently force her head down onto my shoulder. I knew when she relaxed into me, wrapped her arms around me, that she knew who I was.
We both froze when we heard our dads looking for her. I told her to stifle as I picked her up and hurried her into my room. It hurt her badly to be picked up but it was the fastest way to get her out of harm's way. We laid together on my bed for a while and actually ended up taking a nap. When we woke up she screamed from the pain she was in. I held her for a long time before I talked to her about using medication that Dr. Carter gives me on her.”
I pause as I feel a hand wrap around mine. I open my eyes and look up into the softest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. I hold it for a moment before looking away.
“It was the first time I had ever suggested taking their pants off to a pup.”
I can hear the shame in my own voice as I had never intended on talking about this.
“It’s okay, Cole. It’s okay to talk about stuff like this. The only way I can help you deal with your past is to know about it.”
I hear alpha’s voice whisper. I hear Lucas in the background trying to say something but he keeps getting interrupted until he finally remains silent.
“I sat in my desk chair and helped her get off my bed so she was facing away from me. She said something about feeling me shake when I pulled her pants down. I could tell by her voice that she was nervous.”
“Did you ask why she was nervous?”
I hear the beta chime in but his voice is surprisingly neutral.
“I did. She thought I was going to finish what my dad started. She broke loose from my father and ran before she had received all eight hits. I think she said she had two more. I reassured her that I wasn’t going to belt her but touching where she was belted at was going to be painful.
I explained the process that I use. Dabbing larger amounts on the worst areas, letting it sit for several minutes before rubbing it in and she was to tell me to stop when the pain became too much.
It took me half an hour to cover her entire bottom. Once I was finished I cleaned everything up then went to the kitchen to scrounge up some dinner. I sat in my chair near her head and talked with her after I came back. I waited for her to feel like moving around again. Then I guided her back into her clothes. After we ate she stayed the night.
Fortunately, it was a Saturday so I had a day to come up with a plausible reason for her to be out of school and contacted the principal Monday morning. Got all of her work sent to me. I kept her out of school for a week.”
“She was that bad?”
Alpha Damian nearly whispers. I nod as I nervously play with Madilyn’s hair refusing to look at the alpha. Her rhythmic breathing is creating a predictable pattern of hot and cold on my neck. I’ve got to give him credit, this alpha is one of the smartest I’ve come across. He’s already figured out how repetitive patterns are calming for me.
“How long did she stay with you?” Alpha asks calmly.
“A month.” I struggle to get the words out of my mouth. “She was terrified to go home. She didn’t know what she did wrong to make her father that mad but it was the ultimate punishment for her. I guess it would be for any eight year old.”
I pause a moment trying to figure out why I’m willing to talk so much to this alpha.
“Did she tell you what happened? Is that why you let her stay with you?”
I’m surprised by the kindness in Patrick’s voice. I was truly convinced that the man hated me as badly as Lucas. Although I’m still trying to figure out why everyone in alpha’s upper ring is being so nice when this beating from his son had to be planned.
“She told me that she had gone out playing with a friend of hers. She said something to her dad before she left the apartment. At first she thought that he didn’t hear her but she’s never gotten in trouble before for leaving without telling him where she was going.”
“You mentioned that last night when you spoke of Olivia.”
I nod my head as I continue my story.
“When she returned to the apartment. Her dad grabbed her arm and ranted about teaching her a lesson in running off before all of her chores are done while dragging her to my dad’s office but she couldn’t remember what chore she had forgotten to do.
She had a bruise around her arm from fighting him hard. She had been to Alpha Redmen’s office before but her dad was stronger. All her dad had to say was that he wanted eight on her bare ass and Alpha Redmen stopped what he was doing and cleared his desk. Her dad laid her across it, alpha pulled her pants down, grabbed the belt he leaves hanging on the wall behind his desk and just started hitting. Somehow she managed to get out of her dad’s grasp after six hits.
I figured out how to get her to straddle my legs so she could sit and do her school work comfortably for the week. When she refused to go home, I didn’t force her. Instead I figured out when and where her bus picked up and when it dropped her off. I changed my schedule around that and took care of her. After a month of living with me her dad started getting upset about her being gone. It took me several nights of talking with her but she did ultimately head back home.”
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