Chapter 156
(Cole’s POV)
Alpha’s touch on my shoulder freezes me in place. He’s been nothing but gentle towards me, more than any other alpha so far, but I’m struggling. The rumors of this being a really bad place still plague my mind. Every pack I’ve been to has the rumors of being strict and unforgiving and so far three out of four of those packs have been exactly that, unforgiving of my unstable mental and physical health.
They convinced me to talk, to tell them what I’d rather keep hidden. I don’t want to be special, to be singled out and treated differently but I guess my father really has done enough damage over the years that it’s inescapable.
Unlike the others, this alpha admits to being strict. Even his son said it when he boarded the bus before we all got off. I’ve heard stories from other members of Red Fang talking about how Alpha Black is one of the strictest alphas they’ve ever met. Several even complained of receiving physical punishment from him worse than from my dad.
I am truly scared as I admitted that I had been lying about the pain I’m in. Every time I have ever admitted being in this kind of pain I was laughed at, taken to the hospital wing, stripped of my clothes and given a gown to put on. After struggling to follow those orders I was shoved harshly onto the bed so I was bent over it and before I could climb into it, I got placed into a submission hold so the alpha can put my age on my bare bottom before tying me down and giving me an IV. After this happened at the first two packs it now takes a lot for me to admit to the pain I’m in.
I allow myself to collapse back down onto the bed as alpha slides out from under me. I’m shaking hard and mentally cringe at the idea of alpha touching me while I’m in this state. I’m breathing hard with whimpers in my voice, I’m embarrassed as to how weak I sound. I don’t deserve to be here and I’m convinced that I’m deserving of punishment for that weakness.
Alpha Black comes into view on the other side of the bed. I can’t help but go into protection mode as I physically can not fight or run with the pain I’m in. I curl my legs up to my chest and throw my arms over my head, whining loudly as his hand approaches me.
“Easy there Cole. It’s seems you’ve gotten very afraid very quickly of me since admitting that you lied. It seems like you want to trust but it’s fleeting and you don’t know how to keep hold of it. That’s okay. It takes time to establish a record of nothing bad happening when you expect it to before you realize that you can actually trust it.”
His voice is patient and gentle as is his touch on the back of my head, the only thing he can touch considering the tight ball I’ve curled into. He’s taking his time, touching me gently. First on the back of my head then moving to my hands that are curled into fists grabbing tightly to my hair. I’m purposely hurting myself but make no noise as this is the pain I’m used to, the pain that I need to keep myself sane.
He works his fingers into my fists, gently prying them from my scalp while continually reassuring me of his actions. I relax just enough to allow him to take my hands away from my face but my eyes are still tightly closed and I’m panting hard from the stress and the pain in my leg.
“Cole, I know you’re in a really bad place right now so it’s extremely important that you listen to my words as I am telling you exactly what I need you to do and what’s going to happen.”
I struggle to slow my breathing but I know I have to in order to hear him properly.
“Let’s start with getting you sitting up so that I can get a shirt on you.”
I open my eyes to find myself staring into his dark chocolate brown eyes. He’s squatting next to the bed with my hands in his, rubbing them lightly with his thumbs.
“I think you’re a lot sicker than either of us realize. It’s very important that I help you downstairs. Once there I can get the wheelchair from the wing and get you back to the room.”
I nod slowly as I don’t feel that I’m in any position to refuse.
“Let’s work on uncurling your legs so you can sit up.”
I feel his touch gentle on my knee, then on my ankle as he lifts my injured leg. Even though dad always grabbed my thighs to spread my legs before slamming his knee between them, something about the movement triggered the memory of the first time he tortured me in that way.
I pull away harshly, yelping in pain as my injury rubs roughly against the clothes I’m wearing and my other leg as I struggle to get away. Somehow I manage to not only sit myself up but I’m standing, my eyes are darting wildly around looking for the best escape from this threat. Suddenly I feel him on me again and it’s too late to react. He’s got me in a restraining hold that I can’t get out of. I’m standing chest to chest with him, with both his arms wrapped under my arms and across my back.
I’m struggling hard against his hold but I don’t feel good at all. My entire body hurts badly. I’m tired and the weakest I have ever felt as an adult. I actually feel like I’m fighting just to stand on my own two legs. I put my hands on alpha’s shoulders with the intention to push him away but end up grabbing hold of his shirt instead. I hear the door to the room open and close quietly but I really don’t have the energy to even look at who it is.
“Everything okay dad? We heard screaming. Mom’s really upset now.”
“I imagine the girls are too.”
“Yes sir. Lynnie more than Maddie but we all heard it.”
“I discovered a bad trigger. I’m sorry Cole, with your current injuries to that area I should have anticipated a bad reaction.”
“A trigger, dad?”
“Not something to be explained right now but I could use your help getting him into a shirt and down the stairs now that he’s standing. We need to hurry. I don’t know how much longer he’s going to be able to support his own weight.”
I can hear the alpha’s son walking quickly around the room. Now that I’ve calmed down a little, I’ve come to realize that I’m actually too weak to stand on my own and instead of fighting Alpha Black I simply lay my head against his chest.
“I’m sorry alpha.”
I whisper not even certain as to what I’m sorry for.
“Lift your head Cole, so we can get this shirt on you.”
I lift my head slowly but I can’t hold it long. I’m dizzy, disoriented and in terrible pain. My limbs feel like lead and I’m freezing cold. I shiver hard as my heart pounds and my breathing starts coming in pants as if I can’t keep up.
“Damian, we need to get moving and quickly. He’s getting worse much quicker than I thought he would.”
I feel the shirt slide over my head on my second attempt. I can feel softer hands then the alpha’s picking each hand up and helping me get through the sleeves before he pulls the shirt down.
“Cole, you’re getting very sick very fast which is making me think the worst right now. I need you to move with me. Follow everything I say. You’re a little too tall for me to carry but I’m not going to let you fall. I need as much trust as you can give me. I’m not going to hurt you. I need you to believe in that.”
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