Chapter 80
He goes silent. His breathing is tense but even as he struggles to do as I’ve asked.
“Cole, if the water is feeling better I’d like to get some of the water in your hair.”
I smile lightly as the young man squeezes me closer to him in response to Angela’s desire.
“Cole, how is the water feeling?” I whisper.
“Better. It doesn’t burn, just little tingles.”
“Okay. So what I need is for you to lay back in my hands. Angela is going to cover your eyes with a cloth and she’s going to start getting your hair wet enough to shampoo.”
I can feel him nod against my chest. I start gently guiding him back towards Angela who places a soft cloth over his eyes.
“Keep your eyes closed. This stuff feels great on your body but it’s hard on your eyes. Which side is the lac on?”
“The right.”
Angela looks me in the eyes briefly, shocked at his response.
“Do you have any other injuries that need to be tended to?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Where is it?”
Angel’s voice is calm and gentle as telling us anything about his injuries has been a struggle for him.
“The right side, near my neck.”
We are both shocked at his ability to tell us and even more shocked at his calmness.
“I need you to stay still. Let me take a look.”
She moves his head slightly to the left side causing him to whimper softly, his calmness already fading into fear.
“Just a light touch Cole.”
He stiffens as she runs her hand from his shoulder to the side of his neck, feeling for any anomalies under the skin.
A sudden yelp startles both of us as Cole leaps up towards me, grabbing my shirt in his hands as he tries to bury himself within me. I wrap my arms around him. One around his shoulders with the other lightly playing with his hair.
“I’m sorry alpha. I’m so sorry. Goddess please understand that I’m not trying to lie to you. I blank out. I don’t remember right away what happens. I don’t want to remember, but the dreams. Goddess the dreams won’t let me forget. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to remember. I’m sorry. Please alpha, I’m so sorry……”
I interrupt his apology with two gentle clicks.
“Shhhh, enough of that Cole.”
I whisper as he finally breaks down into sobs. I hold him tightly for several minutes until he starts to calm.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for Cole. I don’t see discovering more injuries or you telling me of more injuries as lying. Trauma messes with your memory of events. Right now, I want Angela to work on your hair so we can keep this water out of your eyes. Then we will leave you to bath the rest of your body. I need you to soak in the water until I come back.”
“Yes sir.”
His response is weak and submissive. Between his nightmare and breakdown he’s completely spent and treating his laceration and the unknown injury to his neck is only going to exhaust him more.
“Once Angela is done with your hair, she’s going to bring you 1mg of Ativan so it can start taking the edge off the anxiety and fear your nightmare created. Once you’re out of the tub I’m going to put gloves on and gently touch every part of your body looking for anything we’ve missed or you’ve forgotten. I know this is huge in the way of trust but I did tell you this afternoon when I walked you to the medical room….”
“The physical is hands on everything. You wanted to do it tonight but I fell asleep.”
He quietly interrupts me. He draws a sharp breath, cursing himself under his breath. I can barely make out his words but I can feel he’s tensing up over interrupting me. He starts pushing away from me, struggling hard against my gentle grip, collapsing against my chest with small whimpers when he can’t get away.
I make eye contact with Angela, her eyes mirroring the same concern for him as mine. I use the hand petting his hair to stop her movement towards him using a slow shaking of my head to reinforce my request.
“Cole, I need you to control your yelp.”
He tenses even more as his body trembles.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Cole. That’s why I need you to stifle your yelp. You let me know if I hurt you but nothing else.”
I try to soothe the scared young wolf but the tension on my shirt in his hands tells me it’s a failure.
“Cole, I promise everything is okay.”
I reassure him as I put my hand on his head, gently running the tips of my fingers along his scalp. He tenses up even worse when he feels my touch, nearly holding his breath as he struggles with my request.
“Breathe Cole.”
He chokes on his yelps as he slowly lets himself start breathing again.
“Angela, go get the Ativan. It seems his nightmare has set him up for multiple triggers and he’s too close to panic right now.”
She gives me a silent nod before standing and leaving the room. Cole relaxes slightly in my hold while Angela is looking for the Ativan. It doesn’t take long for her to return with the blister packs the individual doses are kept in. She’s very calm as she kneels beside the tub facing Cole.
“Cole, I need you to open your eyes. This is one medication that I can show you inside the packaging.”
I look down at Cole as he opens his eyes and Angela shows him both sides of the unopened pack.
“Since I’ve washed my hands of the medication in your bath water, I’d like to place these directly into your mouth instead of you doing it.”
To my surprise and relief he gives her a simple nod. It only takes a few seconds for her to produce the first pill, holding it within his view.
“It goes under your tongue.”
He sighs as he nods, opening his mouth for her to place the pill inside. He closes his eyes and leans hard into me. He’s shaking again but this time I’m struggling to tell if it’s his anxiety or if he’s cold as the water has cooled quite a bit during our time in here.
“Are you ready for the second?”
Angela asks as she gently strokes his cheek. He opens his mouth without lifting himself off of me and accepts the second pill. She dips her hand into the water briefly before reaching behind me and releasing the plug holding the water.
“We need to warm the water up, it’s lost most of its heat. I’m going to turn up the heat in this room before going and getting another bag of medication, a pair of scissors and the padded bath ramp.”
“Thank you.”
She gives me a nod and a smile as she makes her way to the heating unit bedside the back door, turning it up before she exits.
“That dream of yours has you really shaken up. I’m sorry it’s taking some time to get you set up on all your medications.”
I keep my voice soft as I slowly take handfuls of water and drip it down the right side of his head.
“I had my medication while at the Red Moon pack six months ago. I still had a hard time dealing with my triggers.”
“Were you rationing?”
The room is silent as Angela comes back in.
“Demetri, I’m going to run this water hot to counteract the cold. You are closest to the faucet so let me know if it’s too hot for you.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I hear a slight gasp as Angela stops the drainage and turns the water back on.
“Are you okay, Cole?”
“Yes sir. I’m just confused.”
He whispers as I feel the water warm around me.
“What are you confused about?”
“I thought you were the leader of the pack but you just submitted to Alpha Pierce.”
Angela looks at me slightly confused by his comment before opening five more bottles of medication and adding them slowly to the water pouring in.
“Showing respect to my pack members is not the same as submitting to them, Cole. When I’m given a directive, especially by one of my doctors, I will confirm my agreement or disagreement with yes or no ma’am or sir. I know you haven’t seen me interact with the rest of the pack but I don’t rule over my pack. I am the leader of a collective and we work together for the benefit of each other.”
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