Chapter 27
(Content Warning)
He put a blind fold on me and told me that as long as I didn’t fight his therapy that it would feel good to me. I let him undress me and laid down on the bed. I didn’t understand it then but I know now that was the first time he gave me oral sex and put his fingers inside me. I cried when he put his fingers in me. He didn’t stop but he didn’t punish me either. He did a variety of different things, touching me, licking me, putting his fingers inside me every time he came into my room at night until I was six. That’s the first time he came in my room on a Saturday morning and explained to me that because I turned six that week I was a big girl and needed to start preparing for how to please my mate.
He started kissing my mouth. I was ok with that until he started licking my lips. I thought it was nasty and told him so. He got up and left the room coming back a few minutes later with my stepmom Alice and a large leather belt. He had never spanked me before but I was scared nonetheless. He looked me in the eyes and told me that I wasn’t allowed to refuse his training. That with my injury it was necessary to accept anything that my Alpha mate wanted me to do to him. That I needed to be able to please him and if I didn’t I would be punished with a spanking.
I refused dad’s kiss so my punishment was ten hits. I refused to take my clothes off so the compromise Alice came up with once she had me pinned to the bed was to put all his strength into fifteen hits with my clothes on. He did ten hits as hard as he could with my clothes but I wasn’t screaming loud enough. So he pulled my dress up for Alice to hold and removed my underwear. He spread my legs wide before putting a finger inside me marking me squirm and cry, telling him no. I didn’t want it. That it didn’t feel good. That’s when he stood up and put fifteen more hits on my bare bottom. That’s what my Saturdays became until I turned ten years old. I learned his rules quickly. If I whined, cried, told him no, told him it hurt, to stop or I didn’t like it then he would strip me of my clothes from the waist down and hit me fifteen times with the belt.
It was the Saturday after my tenth birthday that he told me that it was time for me to understand what sex with an alpha felt like. That when mated to my fated mate that I would encounter the mating knot and that the knot always hurt. There’s no way around it. That even my fated mate would be as ruthless in bed as he was in battle and that he wouldn’t tolerate me crying over the pain it caused.
His job as my father was to expose me to such pain and teach me to deal with it. I was horrified by what he said. I had no idea what was in store for me. I was instructed to take off all my clothes, and to make it easier on me, he put a blindfold on me and tied me to the bed. He climbed on top of me and started with what I knew but also added things that were new.
By that time I was used to both giving and receiving oral. So that was nothing. After about an hour of going through everything he’d taught me he took, what I now know is a dildo, and he started rubbing me with it before assaulting me with it. It didn’t phase him when I screamed in pain. He untied me after he was done, had me roll on to my stomach and hang my legs over the edge of the bed, the way he always spanked me for crying. He made the comment about me crying and I knew there was punishment for that as no one wants a whining luna. Then he took the belt and hit me twenty times.
It continued that way until I was thirteen. That was when things changed again. On my birthday he came into my room at night. He took my blanket, pushed my nightgown up while pushing my underwear down. He whispered in my ear that it was time to finish my training. That I needed to be ready to give myself to my mate anytime he wanted me. Starting that night I was to sleep without underwear unless I was on my human cycle.
That’s when I started missing school. The pain was so bad after his assaults that I couldn’t sleep right. He told me that alphas are primal and will only be interested in having sex like animals do, that I had to stay completely still and silent unless instructed to do something. If I made any sound he would hit me with the belt. He started coming every night after that and twice Saturday and Sunday. I came into my first heat cycle when I was fourteen, so it changed again. He told me that a heat cycle without your fated mate is very painful. That you need someone to penetrate you sexually every day, multiple times a day for the entire three weeks that your wolf is in heat to reduce the pain. His new instructions the day he smelled my heat was to stay in my room, in my nightgown without underwear all day. That when he came and knocked on my door I was to stop whatever I was doing, climb into my bed, and assume the primal position before he opened the door. That very first time he knocked I was scared but my will to fight had been beaten out of me several years previous.
This time he used something that I didn’t recognize. It felt completely different and it hurt me badly. He held me differently while using it, made different comments and sounds. The movement he used would get faster and harder over time before he would freeze up and groan.” She goes silent as if she’s suddenly aware of something she didn’t realize before. I see the panic in her eyes before it ever reaches her voice. “I’m so sorry Demetri. I’m sorry I lied. I can’t believe I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry. You need to punish me. I deserve to be beat. I am a whore. Just like he’s always told me. I don’t deserve to be with you.” She breaks down into frantic, uncontrollable sobs into my arms as I try to process the revelation she just encountered.
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