Chapter 195
“I usually use hoodies over a coat if I’m not walking far and the weather is nice.”
“Do you have one here?” He points to the dresser beside the door.
“In the box.”
I walk over to the box and pull out the rest of what he brought down. I place the nebulizer machine gently on the dresser, followed by all the accessories before reaching his hoodie on the bottom. I pull it out before dropping the box to the floor. I shake it out, looking it over to find a zipper down the middle.
“This one’s different from the one you had when you helped us with Madilyn.”
I observe before handing it to him. He slips it on cautiously, almost as if he’s in pain. Even though his pacing and frantic hand stims have calmed considerably since I told him we’re going to the training annex, I can tell by his fear filled eyes and panting breath that he’s nowhere close to done his panic attack. How many of these has he been forced to bury and act as if nothing is going on in order for him to be so seemingly calm?
Without being told, Julie has already stepped out into the hallway patiently waiting for Cole and I to join her. I wait for Cole to start walking on his own, stopping beside the door to slip his shoes on before exiting as well. I’m the last one out of the room, closing the door, before we start walking to the medical wing.
Half way down the west wing he stops, backing up a few steps before turning and running hard into me. He whines hard as he attempts to get around me. I wrap my arms under his, pulling him into me as I use one hand to rub the back of his head.
“Shhhh. I need you to relax and listen.”
I give him a minute to settle before trying to explain.
“I’m keeping you inside as far as we can go because with your low body temp compared to the rest of us it’s easier for you to get cold. I promise you, we are headed to the end of the hall and out that door.”
He lays his forehead against my shoulder, breathing in deep but faster than normal. His rhythmic squeeze on the loose fabric of my shirt showing me the unmistakable angst that he’s feeling. I stay silent, giving him as long as he needs to process the information. My only movement is the soft massage of his scalp matched to the rhythm of his stim as I patiently wait for him to start moving on his own again.
I lift my hand away from him as he rises from my shoulder.
“I’m sorry alpha.” He whispers, ashamed of his reaction.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I reassure him quietly.
He turns slowly, taking his time to find his footing before heading towards the back door of the west wing. To my relief, the walk outside is uneventful although I had hoped that the cloudy sky would have held onto some of the heat from earlier in the day. I pull out my keys and toss them to Patrick as we approach the building. He did really well getting everything he needed yet conveniently left his own set of keys in his apartment. I give him a smile and a snort at the irony of the situation.
“At least I didn’t lock the apartment door.”
He counters at my simple humor. He holds the door open for everyone to enter inside before shutting and locking the door.
“I linked the cleaning crew. I explained that we needed the annex to do special testing with one of the prospects. That it would be best for them to come clean in the morning and I would alert the warriors that it wouldn’t be open until noon.”
“Did they give you a hard time?” I speak casually as we walk to the center of the room.
“They weren’t happy about it but agreed to my plan when I told them the other option was to start cleaning it at 10pm.”
I can’t help but chuckle a bit at his calm, matter of fact way of dealing with the cleaners.
“I also promised to give them a few extra hands that have been learning our cleaning routine around the pack house.”
I stop and stand in the middle of the sparring ring in the center of the training annex. I turn to find Cole staring at us, perplexed by our conversation and Pat’s ability to tell me afterwards that he’s reassigning some of the omegas to a different task.
“All of our omegas are very fluid. They all learn what the expectations are in each area that they help in. Majority will learn to work together in the kitchen, setting up and breaking down the dining and banquet halls, cleaning the pack house, cleaning the training annex daily, sanitizing the annex weekly and the stocking of the general supplies that we use in the pack house and dorms. The newest, adult omegas that have chosen not to go to college and learn a trade start their learning in the pack house.”
“There are three that have picked up what needs to be done quickly so moving them to the annex for a few hours tomorrow won’t be an issue.” Patrick finishes explaining.
Although I don’t feel it was necessary to go into such detail I’m hoping that giving him insight as to how I run my pack might make the decision to stay a little easier.
He’s slowed his pace quite a bit. Looking slowly around the large empty building and several times back at the locked door.
“I didn’t bring you here to hurt you.” I speak casually but fail to reassure him.
“You…. you….” He hangs his head low as he struggles to find his voice.
“It’s okay, Cole. I know bringing you here in the middle of a major panic attack isn’t quite as soothing but the rambling that Julie had you do gave me an idea. You said a couple times that you wanted to hit but you’re not allowed to. I want to change that. I am giving you permission, in a controlled manner, to hit me.”
I can hear him draw in a sharp breath without letting it go. His eyes become wide with fear, unable to understand what it is I’m asking him to do.
“Come, Cole. I’d like you to come stand with Patrick while I go to the closet and get the protective equipment we train in.”
I wait until he starts moving towards the ring before leaving for the closet.
Not wanting to take too much time donning the full array of protective equipment we use, I settle for chest, head and arm protection while also grabbing the hand held pads for him to hit and a pair of gloves for him if he wants them. By the time I exit the equipment closet he has made his way to the ring but has resumed his pacing.
I stand a few feet from Patrick when I drop the load I’m carrying to the floor hanging on to my custom fitted chest pads. The noise from the dropped equipment causes Cole to stop and turn midway down the mat. Despite his panicked pacing, his overall demeanor remains calm, but I know it’s all an act. His squeezing hands and fearful eyes is all I need to tell me that the panic is still raging within him.
He watches as I flip the padded vest over my head, securing it tightly to my body with the Velcro straps on the sides. Next, I slip my arms through the sleeves of the arm pads poking my thumb through the hole at the end.
“This is going to be a hand spar only, so I’m willing to let you choose. I brought gloves out if you want them or you can go raw as the gloves won’t protect you from jamming your wrist if you throw a bad hit.” I explain calmly.
He nods his recognition of my comment as I slip my padded helmet onto my head.
“Come towards me Cole. Come to the center.”
I encourage as I point to where I want him. His hesitation and stiff body screams his discomfort and uncertainty with what’s about to happen.
“Everything is okay. There will be no penalties for this, it is my idea after all.”
“That has never stopped him.”
He whispers his fear causing me to pause and simply observe him for a moment.
“I’m not your father. I will never do what he’s done.”
I finally catch the young man’s attention but he doesn’t react the way I was hoping. Instead of giving him confidence in participating in this spar he only shows me shame in thinking I was the same as his tormentor.
“Come, Cole. Have you ever used padding of any type during your training with Mr. Jenkins?”
He slowly starts walking towards me, shaking his head as he does.
“None at all?”
I inquire as only the highest level of my warriors are allowed to spar completely raw and that is under strict rules and guidance to prevent injuries.
“Jon isn’t allowed to do what he does with me so outside of the pads I hit there has never been any padding.” He confesses.
“Is some of your hesitancy coming from me wearing the pads?”
I ask hoping for an honest answer. I’m surprised when he nods, stopping a few feet from me on the mat.
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