Chapter 187
“You had that much foresight at nineteen?”
“Honestly, at the time I didn’t know what I was going to do with the access, the information. All I knew was I had to have the information. Something inside me was guiding me, causing me to obsess over figuring out how to get back into my dad’s computer.
I controlled the urge for two months before I cracked under the pressure of my own brain relentlessly asking ‘what else does he have in that file? What could he be planning to do with it?’”
“He changed his computer’s background screen which made it harder to recognize that I was in it. I had actually accessed it about two hours before then but I saw the mouse cursor moving so I backed out and gave him time to get off of it. It didn’t take me long to make copies of the file with my name on it and several others that I felt might be useful.
The Big Brother program was a bit harder to copy. I had to repeat the process of getting into my dad’s computer then figure out the programming before I had unlocked it enough to copy and transfer it to my computer.
It was only when he added videos or documents to the files I copied that I realized my copy was updated with his. Even though I go back and search his computer for any new files he may have created every few months, the way I copied the other files has made it so I don’t have to break into it very often.”
“How often do you visit his computer?”
“Two, maybe three time a year.”
“I understand the importance of this information but that doesn’t make letting you leave any easier. There’s got to be a way for you to access one of those computers from here.”
My voice is desperate, almost whiny as I try to convey to him the importance to me that he stays.
“I can’t stay alpha. I can’t access dad’s computer from your network and I always shut down and lock up my laptop before I leave the pack.”
“You have no one you can contact that could get it for you?”
He shakes his head before explaining.
“I don’t own a cell phone. I could get Jamie to call his dad but that would look suspicious considering Jon has never entered the pack house outside of meeting with Alpha Redmen in his office. Instructing him on how to get his girls to break into my room could be disastrous if they’re caught since they’ve never done it before and I have no contact information on the littles that I help on a regular basis. Of the girls I help, only five are brought to me by a parent. I always leave a note for the littles that seek refuge in my room letting them know when I left for a prospect run at another pack so they know not to look for me. They will alert the others so the littles that go into heat while I’m gone know they have to find another means of protecting themselves.”
“There’s nothing I can do to convince you to stay?”
He shakes his head again before slowly turning the chair towards me.
“You really don’t want me to leave?” He whispers.
Shocked at the idea that someone would want him.
“What can I do to help you understand that I am the real thing? That not only do I have the knowledge and means of helping you get away from this situation but I desperately want to help you. You don’t deserve this hell, Cole. He damn near killed you. Do you understand that he purposely, maliciously poisoned you? That if you hadn’t been here, in my care, you would have died?”
“It’s not the first time.”
He whispers as he turns the chair away from me again.
“My fear is that it’s not the last. I’m terrified that if I let you leave you will not return even if I send my bus to retrieve you in January.”
“The only way I leave my pack is to go rogue, alpha. The very situation that he’s waiting for in order to release the information that I’m some dangerous pedophile ready to rape your kids.”
His voice is low, ashamed of the situation he’s in. I take a deep breath and sigh, sitting back in my chair.
“Even if you invite me back for the second run. Even if you send your bus for me. I would not be able to return as Alpha Redmen won’t approve of me attending a second run.”
His voice is quiet but steady as he starts giving me information I wasn’t prepared for.
“Two years ago, in early January, my dad told me that he was going to allow me to explore the prospect program. He was tired of my begging and felt it would be a good lesson for me to learn that all packs are the same. That joining the prospect program would not make what I deserve disappear. He explained to me how useless I was and there wasn’t any point in me being out of the territory more than six months as no one would want me in their territory any more than he did so he has told me repeatedly that if I’m gone out of the territory more than six months he would report me as a dangerous rogue, a feral wolf to the council.
I was supposed to go to the White Mountain pack for my first run but the evening before the bus came he forced me into the training room. The belting I received was bad enough that I wasn’t able to get to the bus the next morning. I found out three months later that the council had rejected the application because it was incomplete.
Three months later, after several daily beltings, he got tired of seeing me and I got sent off to the Yellowtail pack. I think it was four or five hours away. Some how he found out about Dallas ranting about me raping Luna Sasha and the pups at the Yellowtail pack. So….”
He sighs hard as he pauses.
“So, now he makes sure that Dallas is on every run I go on so he spouts off about the rape rumors and after I end up in the hospital for several weeks to months they get rid of me.”
I can tell by his voice that his mood has gone down hill and he’s closed himself off from considering the conversation we’re having. I reach out and lay my hand on his arm once he goes silent, attracting his attention back to me.
“Please, think about it. I know it’s been a rough go with Lucas but I swear to you, the malice from the individuals that came after you were not my doing. The nurse that assaulted you at General, she’s no longer working there. As much as you don’t want to hear it, it’s important that you understand that I did implement physical punishment twice for what Lucas has done. For assaulting you while you were taking care of Madilyn he took ten hits from Patrick and when he refused to get you the wheelchair I did the timing method you spoke of. The difference between what you experienced at Red Moon and what I did was I used my delta, Anthony, and when he didn’t do as I had instructed I called him off early.”
I knew Cole wouldn’t like this and doesn’t disappoint when he swings his chair around to look at me.
“You… you…”
His face is horrified at the thought that I did that to Lucas. I hold my hand up, stopping his struggle to speak against what I had done.
“I used the wheelchair to distract but also teach the girls about compassion. The true reason he received physical punishment was because he admitted that he was actively pursuing under aged girls and he is actively refusing to give me a list of all the ones he’s been with.”
“That’s why you asked me to do this.”
His voice is hushed as he tries to understand.
“It is why I asked how much you knew about the program. Now, while our conversation about you leaving your pack is not over, it is on pause as it’s obvious you have shut down on that subject.”
He quickly adverts his eyes down, his body displaying the shame he feels.