Chapter 180
“Is your computer password protected?”
“No sir. You should be able to get right on it. Are you familiar with the Big Brother program?”
“Yes sir. My father uses the same one.”
“I’d like to view the sparring match between you and Lucas. Could you look for that first?”
He remains silent with my request as he waits for the computer to come back from sleep mode. I keep my distance from them, standing in a spot behind my desk where I can observe without becoming overbearing. It doesn’t take him long to navigate the program and start loading today’s footage from the training facility.
I creep closer to the computer as Cole fast forwards through most of the day, slowing down the pace as it approaches four o’clock. I grab a seat and place it right beside Cole as he starts rewinding.
“What did you find?” I ask casually as he starts playing the video feed.
“I pulled the timestamp of when he first entered the training annex. From here until I pull the next time stamp it’s going to copy the video feed and save it to your desktop.”
“How did you get to know the program so well? When I don’t preemptively set it to save certain video feeds it takes me hours to go through it and find what I’m looking for.”
He shrugs his shoulders.
“My father has the same program. I guess I experimented until I could find anything I wanted.”
He continues to act like it’s no big deal when it’s really just the opposite. I stay quiet as we all watch the computer screen, he naturally turns up the volume as things get busy. Sure enough, what Damian reported my warriors as claiming, everything was fine until the prospects came in followed, ten minutes later, by Cole.
It’s obvious by his behavior that he wants nothing to do with it. What’s even more striking is the fact that Cole argued against it and it seems that Lucas’s lies about Cole being able to spar is what edged his friends into pushing Cole into the ring.
I cringe as I hear Lucas speak with such malice towards Cole. His words tell me that this was revenge against Cole telling on him, something I have religiously preached against since he was little.
The first hit went exactly as Cole described. Lucas aimed for his jaw but Cole ducked the first hit. It was when he tried to get away from the second that resulted in him taking a nasty hit to the side of his neck.
The change in Cole is instant, both on the video and off. He wants nothing to do with watching himself defend against his attacker. I pull him into me as I study the video. His defensive tactics are indeed unique and impressive.
Majority of the hits that caused Cole damage took place in the beginning, before Cole had picked up on Lucas’s predictable offensive strategy, the exception seems to be his ribs.
There was one point in the video where Lucas had him down on the ground, relentlessly kicking him in the same spot. I cover Cole’s ears as I hold his trembling body against my chest. Even Jessa has walked away from the screen, entering the bathroom that’s attached to the bedroom next to my office. Not quite soon enough I can hear my dramatic entrance before I can see myself on this particular camera.
“It’s over, Jessa. You can come out now.”
I call to her as I try to soothe Cole out of his terror. He slowly lets go of my shirt as his breathing returns to normal. As much as I want to compliment his defensive strategy, it's obvious that seeing this video so soon after it actually happened wasn’t a good idea.
He finally looks at the screen again as I’m approaching him in the video. There’s something about seeing how I reacted to him that has intrigued him. He watches the video closely as he slowly realizes the care I took with him. It’s only after he stops the video, creating the end time stamp, that he looks at me. Confusion is written deep into his navy blue eyes.
“You held me?” He whispers as Jessa comes out of the bathroom, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
“You don’t remember?” I ask him cautiously. He shakes his head.
“My first memory after the first hit happened was being in the exam room. The smell of the antiseptic was quite strong but even that is patchy until the bath.”
I nod my head as Jessa settles back into the chair next to Cole. He whimpers lightly as he looks at his mate.
“It’s okay to touch her, to accept her, Cole.”
I whisper near his ear encouraging him to reach out to her. He finally reaches out and wipes the stray tear from her face.
“I’m sorry Jessa. I don’t ever want you to see the animal that I become.”
She places her hand on his before leaning into it. His breathing stiffens, uncomfortable with her desire to be so close to him.
“It was you being hurt by him that has me upset.”
He reaches out to her with his other hand before hesitating and eventually drawing back.
“I’m sorry Jessa. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?” She whispers as she places her hand on his face.
“Be your mate.” He barely whispers. “You deserve so much more than me.”
“What are you talking about?” I can hear the confusion in her voice.
“I can’t keep going like this. I can’t keep lying to myself by pretending everything is okay. Nothing is okay with me. Nothing is normal and it never will be. How, Jessa? How can I deserve to be loved by you? Someone so kind and pure. How could the moon goddess do this to you? How could she match you up with a monster like me? I’m sorry. You need to reject me because I’m not even strong enough to release you from the horrors I will bring you. Please release yourself to someone better.”
I’m shocked at how things turned so suddenly.
“No. I won’t reject you. You’re not a monster and you deserve the love I want to give you. Please don’t give up on us before we ever have a chance.”
“You don’t know me, what I’m accused of, what I have actually done. You wouldn’t want me if you knew. Please Jessa. Just think about it. I’m not the mate you want nor the one you deserve.”
He’s backing away from us slowly and I know, this time, I need to let him go as he turns and disappears through the door.
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