Chapter 145
“I don’t know anymore. The only reason I even fight to stay alive is because of the girls of my pack. They have no one to turn to for the protection that they need. So many times I had the bare necessities and a handful of money in a single backpack. I had my hand on my window about to open it when a knock on my door pulled me back. I taught all of them a special knock that let me know who was there. After eight at night, the only knock I answer to is theirs. Every single time I was ready to leave the hell I call home I was pulled away by that knock. By a little who had been beaten senseless for a minor infraction. By a little that had been molested or raped by their father or brother. By a little that was suffering from the intense pain of coming into heat before they were old enough to shift and the only thing that relieves them of that pain is for me to hurt them even more. As much as I care about the Jenkins. They are truly the family I should have had and they would be the only ones to grieve my death, it would be the littles that would truly suffer from losing me.”
“What happened Saturday, Cole?” I ask gently.
“I’m not even all that certain anymore, alpha. All I want is to forget. I try so hard to separate my mind from my body when he chains me like an animal. The only touch I have ever known from him, the only words he has ever said has been in an effort to destroy me. To make certain I understand that my life is a privilege that can be taken from me at any time for any reason.”
“Cole, the papers Angela gave me are legal documents that I have never signed for a prospect coming in.”
I sigh hard hoping that my honesty doesn’t keep him from giving me what I need from him.
“Normally the discovery of silver or wolfsbane in a prospect’s blood is due to purposeful drug use. The prospects are given a choice when any recreational drug, which includes silver and wolfsbane, is discovered in their blood or urine. As long as they are not in withdrawal they can agree to go to an inpatient rehabilitation facility and rejoin the program once they have been clean for a year or they can choose to return to their pack and get permanently withdrawn for the prospect program.”
He’s looking intently at me but is unable to hold any meaningful eye contact with me as I talk.
“It’s because we do not believe that you did this to yourself that we have a third option that we are hoping you will trust us enough to give to us.” Angela explains gently.
“What are you asking me to give to you?”
Fear has crept into his voice and I silently pray that he hasn’t been scared away.
“Cole, it’s important that you understand that the silver panels that we’re running on you take 48 hours before we conclusively know if you have triple s or silver poisoning. We will have an idea which way you’re leaning after 24 but we can not diagnose either before all the tests are completed. In your condition time is not on your side and withdrawal from either of them puts you in grave danger. When you crash and it is a when not if, you will not be able to make your own medical decisions.”
“If I can’t make the decisions then who does?”
“It will default back to your parents unless you willingly sign documentation granting conservatorship to me.”
The fear is back and I can only hope that I haven’t scared him off.
“You can’t be any worse than my father.” He sighs hard.
“Cole, I would like you to be comfortable in taking this step. To have some sort of confidence and trust that I’m going to treat you correctly. Not the bare minimum.”
Now I’m hesitating with the documents we know are necessary for his survival.
“I’m sorry alpha but I don’t have either but I am being honest with my thoughts when I say you can’t be worse than my father. I haven’t forgotten about the phone recording our conversation and I will say for the record that I am willingly signing conservatorship to you under one condition.”
“What’s that?” I’m curious about his thinking.
“That you allow me to make decisions until I actually can’t. Like you did last night. The lidocaine shots burn me badly. They remind me of when I was overdosed. On what, they never figured out.”
“You mentioned that before when we needed to stitch your head and take care of that abscess Wednesday night.”
“That’s why I asked you to tie me down. I’ve lost touch with reality when receiving them before.”
I’m shocked at his admission to becoming psychotic no matter how brief it may be.
“It’s scary to get like that. To live through what you’ve already lived through. To have no knowledge or understanding of what you’re doing in the present. To wake up from a nightmare when you weren’t even asleep just to see the fear and chaos you created. I deserve to be tied down when I go to the hospital.”
His voice is sad and submissive not wanting to admit to what he knows happens with him.
“Cole, the conservatorship only takes effect when you are too sick to make sound decisions for yourself but you need to sign it before you get in that position or your father could contest it.”
“I will sign it alpha. I have no desire to allow my parents to make medical decisions for me while I’m here. You have tried very hard to make me as comfortable as you can over the last four days.”
I pull a pen from my shirt pocket and sign on the line at the bottom of the page before handing both to him. For the first time he shows no hesitation in reaching for the clipboard and pen. It takes him a moment to sign his name before handing both back to me.
“What’s next alpha?” He asks me quietly.
“We wait until the first dose of your silver binder has finished then we head to the tub. Let’s get you in there for a nice long soak.”
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