Chapter 232
A gentle knock on the door prompts Alpha to stand.
“Come in.” He calls, causing me to wince.
“I’m sorry.” His voice is much quieter as the door opens.
“Thank you for sharing. I understand how concerned you are about Jessa and we will start doing some research to figure out how to make you stronger.”
He finishes while looking at her, reassuring her that she has help.
“The storm is letting up. It’s time to start over to general. Allen is waiting for us.” Luna walks in with Madilyn and Madisyn.
“Can you handle Madilyn riding with you?”
I shift my legs apart to make room for her, groaning as I realized what I just did.
I lay back harder than I intend, sending searing pain through my head. I can’t hold back the yelp or the sudden panic it causes. I lift my hands to my head only to be harshly reminded of the break in my arm. I’m making one mistake after another and even the residual effects of the ketamine isn’t slowing it down. I feel hands on me but I’m helpless to identify who they belong to as I yelp and fight. I’m going into a painful cycle that I don’t know how to stop until a large, masculine hand wraps around the back of my head. It’s sitting low, half on my head and half on my neck.
“I’m sorry alpha. Please don’t hurt me, don’t submit me. I’m sorry.”
I cringe at my own pathetic whines as I hear alpha’s gentle hushing near my ear. He has frozen my movements with just his gentle touch but I’ve caused myself too much pain to hold the whimpers back.
“What happened? All he did was move his legs.” Luna questions, disbelief easily heard in her voice.
“It’s the over sexualization of his pack. While most teens and adults would see such a gesture as sexual in nature if it were to occur privately during an intimate situation. It would appear that Cole has been punished for doing it even under innocent intentions. It’s like he’s been forced to live in a convent. Nothing that can be seen two ways is innocent.”
He tries to explain as I start responding to his efforts.
“You’ve done nothing wrong. It's okay to whimper. I know you’re hurting.”
He rubs the top of my head gently as I finally start to relax.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper again.
“Don’t be. I think your response is a mix of things. We’re getting ready to transfer you to general. The last time you were admitted things went very wrong for you. Even though it seems you have worked through some of the issues from yesterday, I’m certain it’s still weighing heavily on you to know you can’t claim your mate and I’m certain that the events of today haven’t helped.”
“I deserve to be punished.”
I whisper, causing alpha to freeze his movements. The room is silent with a long pause before he can speak again.
“Why?”
“I caused the brawl that put your girls in danger. I deserve to be punished. To heal without any further help. No hospital. No medication. I deserve to suffer for what I’ve done. For you to tear up my backside once I’m healed. I should have waited for you. I deserve….”
Suddenly Jessa’s lips are on mine again but the girls are here and this isn’t something they should see. I move my arm towards her but alpha seems to know my intentions and holds my hand instead.
“Kissing is acceptable between mates. Allow it to relax you.”
Alpha encourages as she breaks it off. I want more but I find myself at absolute war with myself. I want to feel her, to taste her gentle kisses but the life I’ve been trained to live doesn’t allow this to happen. I stay still, stunned from her actions and my inability to accept or reject it. She leans her head on mine trying to soothe the chaos raging within me but I can’t stop.
“It’s more than just the brawl.” I confess nervously.
“Let go Cole. Just like we did the first time you sparred with Demetri.”
Jessa steps aside, allowing me to look at Dr. Richards as she places her hand on my leg. Luna has walked into the room, stopping beside alpha with the girls.
“I don’t want to leave but I know now that I’m broken I can’t stay until July. He will take advantage of my weakened state.”
“I know I shouldn’t interrupt as it disrupts your rambling but I need you to trust me, to hear my words, you’re here until July.”
I look at him before continuing.
“I don’t deserve to be, I haven't been training with Patrick or the others.”
“I know. They’ve been telling me.”
“I’ve memorized your working hours. I know generally when you use your office. Even though you stay on the run and I use your computer in the afternoons, after he trapped me in that link I’ve been staying up late. I go to your office and use your computer. I’ve been trying to hack into his computer. I got into his big brother account and I have it running constantly in the background but I can’t get to his computer files from here. I’ve been trying to find another way but I need those files so that you can see how they’ve been changed compared to the originals. It’s wrong for me to do and I deserve to be punished.”
He leans down towards me, gathering me into his arms. I want to fight but I know I’m broken and fighting makes it worse. What I don’t know is what he’s going to do.
“Lay back, everything is okay. You’re not in any trouble.”
I allow him to guide me slowly back, whimpering when my head touches the pillow. I watch him warily, uncertain of his next moves. He takes Madilyn from Luna’s arms and places her gently between my legs.
She’s wearing different clothes and her foot is now bandaged.
A second blanket is placed over her as Dr. Pierce and Dr. Richards work together to buckle me onto the bed, the first strap is around my shins the second across my thighs and includes Madilyn. Dr. Richards scoops up Madisyn into her arms. She lays her head on her shoulder, tired after such a long and emotional day.
“Demetri, you and Lilly stay with Madilyn at the hospital. I’m going to take Madisyn home with me. She can stay and play with the kids until Madilyn comes home. Just call or link and let me know how long it will be.”
They both nod,rubbing her head as the pup is already asleep.
“Dem,” Dr. Pierce calls his attention as she unlocks the bed for moving. “I’ve got things here, just let Patrick know so he’s not surprised. We work well together so it’s not a big deal. I believe you’re planning on staying at the hospital this time?”
She looks at Jessa this time.
“Yes. After what happened the first time I don’t want him alone over there.”
“You ride in the ambulance. Lilly and I will take the van.”
Everything starts moving again without a hint of anger. Although the last place I want to be is Crimson General, at least I know Jessa and Alpha won’t let anything happen to me while they’re there. I wrap my arm around a softly snoring Madilyn, lay my head to the right side and close my own eyes. Allowing myself to fall asleep as they wheel me down the hall.
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