Chapter 259
I wrap my hands around his, sliding my fingers gently between his hands and hair. He surprises me with how easily he gives up his stimming.
“Stand up son.”
I keep my voice gentle and reassuring, waiting for him to respond. He fights me briefly as he stands, trying hard to get out of my hold.
“No, Cole. Accept the contact.”
I persist as I refuse to let him run from me. Surprisingly, it seems he wants to run towards the van picking him up, not back into the house.
“Stay with me a moment son. Allow me to calm you.”
He relents to my desire, slowly giving me the calm I know he needs to make a rational decision.
“I know you heard the conversation. I need to know your thoughts.”
“Dad sent him.” He whispers, his voice fearful.
“I know. Your dad requested the change but the council honored it so the plan remains the same. You have pack members at White Ridge which gives your father no excuses for picking you up.”
He nods against my shoulder before slowly pushing himself away. Jamie finally comes out the front door followed by Micayla, Lilly and the twins.
“Cole!”
They shout in unison grabbing a hold of both his legs causing him to rock briefly. He takes his hands from mine once he has his balance.
“Hey, what are you two doing?”
“We came to say goodbye.” Madisyn starts.
“We don’t want you to leave.” Madilyn sniffles through.
“I don’t want to leave either, sweetpea. But there’s something that I need to get from home that can’t be replaced here.”
He places his hands on the backs of their heads, petting them gently.
“So you’re still going?”
I ask with as little pressure as I can. He nods.
“Yes sir.”
“What’s going on?” Jamie asks.
“Dad changed the plan. Prospects got dropped off at White Ridge so he requested that White Ridge pick us up.” Cole explains softly.
“Is the rest of the plan staying the same? It would be really easy for him to just leave us there with the other prospects.” Jamie expresses concern for the change as well.
“To the best of my knowledge it is. Delta Ashman, are you aware of Alpha Redmen’s plans for picking them up from White Ridge?” I try to clarify.
“I wasn’t given any additional details outside of picking them up at noon. My apologies sir.”
I nod, appreciating his change in demeanor and honesty about the situation.
“We’re taking a big chance, Cole. Any ideas on what will happen if you’re out of the territory beyond the deadline he gave you.” Cole simply shakes his head no.
“It can’t be much worse than what he’s already done but I also don’t care to find out.”
“Are we still going?” Jamie asks, cuddling Micayla even closer.
“I need to return one last time.” He sighs as he looks towards the ground.
“I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to understand but I promise I will return. For the first time ever, I not only have a reason to run but a place to run to.”
He looks up in time to see Damian pull up to the garage with Jessa in the passenger side, it’s a first to see him driving. I watch a smile slowly form across Cole’s face before he gently pries the girls from his legs. I follow him down the stairs and stop a foot or so away from where they embrace each other.
“I’m so sorry I was so mean.” I remain silent as they embrace each other.
“You’re in a difficult place right now.”
“That’s no excuse for the way I treated you. I’ll do better when I return.”
The remorse in his voice is as genuine as the tears coming from his eyes. I struggle myself to hold back the tears that letting him go will produce. He doesn’t have to die for us all to be in mourning once he leaves. I look away towards the porch as I hear the screen shut.
It’s a momentary shock to see Lucas on the porch walking towards the stairs before he sits down upon them. The familiar tug of his link calls my attention even further to him.
‘What are you doing out here?’
I ask gently as he appears almost in a daze and quite confused.
‘I want to apologize before it’s too late.’
‘I appreciate that and I’m sure he would too.’
I watch as Lilly and the girls step off the porch. The girls run joyfully to Damian, who’s been away for the last week with Jessa on a special project I assigned. He scoops Madilyn up and tosses her lightly in the air before doing the same with her sister. Kneeling on the ground he wraps both his arms around them showering them with the welcome home all loved ones should have.
When I look back towards the porch, Lucas hasn’t moved, if anything he’s even more stressed with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head lying down on them. Lily has stopped beside him, petting his hair gently. Her mouth moves and I can see his head nod but I’m too far away to hear the conversation.
I sigh as I watch their interaction together. I’m concerned about my youngest son, I have been for quite some time. While I cannot continue to lie to myself and say the signs weren’t there, something about Cole’s presence here triggered a change as he’s never acted out the way he has during this run.
For years he’s been the secretive one. I’m not even certain when things changed between us. I know and own up to the damage I did to my relationship with Damian. It’s taken years to slowly repair the scars left from being so heavy handed and I don’t know if those repairs will ever be complete. Damian still shows a lot more fear towards me when he’s in trouble than I would like, especially when we discuss his wrong doing in my office.
Lucas was raised differently, at least by me. While the same strictness I had with Damian remained, I wasn’t as liberal with the belt. The first time Lucas’s bare skin ever tasted the sting left by the pliable leather was when he attacked Cole the first time the first week of Cole’s arrival. I forgave the third spanking he rightly deserved when he attacked Cole the second time using sparring matches as a cover yet the change I’ve seen in him over the last six months remains unexplained.
I watch patiently for Lilly to walk away from him. He seems almost fearful to be here and his hesitation to move from the step concerns me. His fear of meeting with me alone in my office has grown exponentially.
He forced me to stop the therapy I forced him into when he attacked Julie three months ago. Fortunately I was able to intervene before it got too bad but she still needed stitches and a week off so she could heal. I was surprised when she commanded me not to consult the council. Something about her claim that he became a completely different person, that he was fighting himself as much as he was attacking her, that caused me to agree.
I took a different approach towards his aggression and defiance, one that I’m not proud of but feel is necessary. Patrick has delivered six spankings over the last three months for various assaults, lies and straight refusal to give me the names of the preshifts that he’s had in bed with him.
The idea was to force his wolf into submission through a show of power, by forcing his wolf to recognize that he is not the boss, that he’s just as vulnerable as those he’s attacking and he will be attacked every time he does. Unfortunately, that’s done nothing but bring Lucas to the edge of a breakdown and without knowing what caused him to change so many years ago I have no ability to prepare for what his breakdown is going to be.
‘Luke.’
I reach out to him as his mother moves away.
‘What’s going on? You have the desire to apologize but you seem terrified to do so?’
I pause waiting for his response.
‘I am.’
His whisper floors me. Not only his confession of fear but the deep sadness of his voice makes my heart drop into my stomach.
‘Come to me, son.’
I encourage using much the same voice I often use with Cole.
‘I don’t want to hurt him. He’s not the Alpha Redmen that I’m after.’
I can’t help but stare at him as he sits alone on the stairs.
‘Let me help you. If you came out to say goodbye and have a desire to apologize I’m certain that it’s weighing heavily on your mind. You don’t think he’ll return, do you?’
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