Chapter 146

(Cole’s POV)

I’ve been completely out of it today. My symptoms are getting worse despite insisting to everyone that asks that I’m staying the same. I’m desperate to stay out of Crimson General. Although their hospital wing is top notch and very friendly, I am in no hurry to discover what their main hospital is like.
I’ve slept enough today that if it weren’t for the human’s five o’clock news I would swear that it was Saturday already. Dr. Pierce hung notes on the door. I haven’t tried to read what they say but she said it’s so anyone who comes to my room understands what I need. The only light on in the room comes from the tv. She drew the curtains shut as the sun was quite bright today.
I’m receiving so many medications right now that I’ve forgotten half of them but I still ask what it is before they are allowed to give it to me. Alpha stayed with me while I was in the tub. They put four bottles of medication in the water before I could tolerate being in it. Just a couple days ago the water was very pleasant to be in after two. I guess that’s what happens when you go into withdrawal, you can’t handle anything.
I haven’t seen him since he helped me dress and get in bed. It hurts just to walk ten feet into the bathroom but I push myself to do at least that much. I feel guilty for taking up so much of alpha’s time. He’s fallen behind on paperwork and meetings. I know it’s because of me. I should have backed out of this run after dad’s punishment left me so injured and weak.
The only thing I could think about was getting away from there. The prospect program is just a legal way for me to run away even though it doesn’t solve anything and it’s only temporary. If anything it’s made me less trusting that others could help me. That’s the entire purpose of letting me go on these runs, dad has told me so himself.
I’ve seen Dr. Pierce and Luna several times today. Luna brought me some soup for lunch. She told me that because I eat portions that are closer to a pup than an adult alpha Dr. Pierce added nutrients and fats to it. That I need the higher amount of calories just to maintain my body weight, which at 160 pounds, is considered vastly underweight for my height and birth rank. I was shocked to hear that I’ve dropped that low.
A soft knock at my door alerts me to someone coming in. The door creeps open, slowly revealing alpha on the other side.
“Nice to see you awake. I’ve stopped in a couple times but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you. How are you feeling?”
“Okay I guess.”
I rub the side of my head, wincing when I get close to the wound Andre left me.
“You look a little better.”
“Thanks.” I respond quietly.
“Angela is coming in a few minutes to give you more Vicodin. I wanted to invite you out to the table for dinner. It’s just us tonight. Patrick took Parker and his new girlfriend out bowling tonight. We try to keep weekends relatively low key around here.”
“I’m not exactly dressed appropriately for leaving this room alpha.”
“I thought you would think that way. I’ll help you get your regular shirt on. There’s no pressure here Cole. If you don’t want to come out you don’t have to.”
“I’ll come out, I just need a little help.”
I tell him what I think he wants, not what I really want to do.
As I adjust the bed so I’m sitting up better, Dr. Pierce walks in and sits on the side of the bed.
“It’s nice to see you awake. I’ve got some Vicodin for you.”
I smile weakly but for some reason I can’t contain my desire to pull away when she reaches for my hand.
“It’s okay, Cole.”
She tries to calm me but it’s a fight for me not to react. I close my eyes and look away as she hooks the syringe up to the port, the stinging bite of the medication is only momentary but it’s enough for me to overreact. I give a little yelp as I try to pull away but she’s holding my hand preventing me from getting away.
“I’m sorry Cole.”
Her voice is quiet and sincere as the bite dulls away and is replaced by the gentle rub of her thumb on my wrist.
“Are you ready? Much slower this time. I promise.”
I look her in the eyes. As much as I don’t want to try again I nod. The pain has subsided after all.
“Squeeze my hand.” She slips her hand into mine.
I tug gently at my hand with a soft whine as I watch her start pushing the medication in.
“Slow and calm breathing Cole. I want you to squeeze my hand if it hurts again.” I nod as I concentrate on my breathing.
“Nicely done. Give that a few minutes before you start trying to get up. Are you joining Demetri for dinner?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Okay, I thought that’s what I heard. Can I help you with your shirt?”
“Yes, please.” It’s nearly a whisper but she responds with a gentle, reassuring smile.
“Just be still, there’s a few things I need to do with your IV before we start trying to get a shirt on you.”
I nod as I lay my head back. I space out as I watch the television, the volume is too low to understand what the people are saying which makes it easier to hear the clicks and snaps of what she’s doing with the IV. I know I’m flinching each time I hear something creating the intense desire to apologize each time I do.
“Try to relax. I’m going to put a special sleeve over the tubing so it doesn’t move around. Then we can get your gown off and a regular shirt on. Are you sure you want to stay in long sleeves?”
“Yes ma’am. I’m more comfortable with long sleeves in the winter.”
I watch as she stretches a tube of gauze over my hand and slides it gently over the tubing left after she disconnected the saline setup. I sit up off the back of the bed as Dr. Pierce moves towards my back, struggling to bite back my whimpers as I do. She places her hand flat on my chest, I let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Stay like you are. I want to listen to your heart and lungs.”
She explains as she unties and removes the gown from around my neck.
“Holding your breath when it hurts makes your muscles tense and causes you more pain.”
She whispers gently beside my ear as she changes locations from my chest to my back.
“It’s okay to let us know it hurts.”
I nod as I move myself to the edge of the bed just as alpha steps over with my shirt.
“I need you to guide me with what you need Cole. I know you’re hurt and I don’t want to cause you any pain with something so basic.”
I nod my head slowly.
“If you could get it over my head I think I can get the rest.”
He bunches the shirt into his hands, stretching the shirt at the neck before sliding it over my head. I reach up towards the sleeve only to find it tangled and difficult to work with. I keep at it, refusing to admit to the level of pain that I’m in, until my left arm finally slides through. I’m panting hard with a noticeable whine behind it as my ribs scream from so much movement. I move my right arm next, yelping when alpha’s hand touches mine.
“Rest a moment, Cole. You go that rough with the IV in and you may rip it out. Although you did extremely well with it, it was still a rough go for you this morning.”
I still my movements and lower my arm. I close my eyes even though they’re already looking at the floor. I can feel myself shaking and so does alpha.
“Cole, I need complete honesty, son. Are you afraid? Nervous? Anxious?”
I shake my head no even though I very much am.
“I’m not certain why I’m shaking so bad.”
I finally manage to whisper.
“Are you certain you want to go out to the table? I can bring your food in here. That’s not any problem for me and looks like it would be a lot easier on you.”
I shake my head and as hard as I fight against telling this alpha any more than I have my mouth betrays me.
“I need to see where it comes from. I don’t know why luna’s soup is different for me but the rest of it. I need to get it myself or see where it comes from.”
The Son of Red Fang
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