Chapter 29
I walk quietly out of the bathroom, my thick shaft twitching at the sight of my mate laying still, with her front half down on top of three pillows, hugging them tightly with her beautiful round ass sticking up in the air. Her intoxicating scent is marred with the bitter stench of fear and pain.
“Lilly?” I question quietly as I will not proceed if she’s sleeping.
“I’m okay, Demetri.”
She whispers. I know it’s a lie. There’s no way she’s ok right now. I kneel on the end of the bed, gently rubbing my hands along her back, ass and legs.
“Are you certain this is what you want? What you need?”
“Yes. Please be gentle.”
“Always my love. Never anything else.”
I run my hands gently down her thighs before using gentle pressure to widen them. I run my palm gently against her mound before using my middle finger to rub ginger circles around her clit. I bring my hand back towards her rear using my fingers to gently expose her entrance.
“Stay still, my love. Let me do the work. Rushing this will make the pain worse.”
I use my other hand to gently push my tip into her, using my weight to slowly advance my length into her depth. Her body starts shaking as I get deeper within her, only stopping when only about an inch is left to go.
“I need you to move. He always moved the items is such a way to simulate sex. I can’t tell without you doing the same.”
I can tell by her voice that she’s trying not to cry. I lock into her link again as I start to slowly push and pull my length inside her. I’m only moving a fraction of me right now as anything more would be excruciating to her.
“Lilly,” I speak softly as I continue my slow gentle strokes.
“I need you to tell me what you need. I will not change the speed or force but I can give you more length if you think it will help.”
I can tell she’s concentrating hard, trying to figure this out.
“I need more.”
I sigh hard as I lengthen my strokes causing her to yelp and whimper. I wrap my arm around her thighs pulling her back so hers are touching mine. She goes silent as I maintain my motion. I know without a doubt this is it. I slow my motion to a complete stop as she struggles to breathe.
“Breathe Lilly.” I gently rub her back as her shaking gets worse.
“Move with me baby. This is done.”
My tone is gentle yet concerned as guide her off of me while also pulling out. I gently pick her up in my arms, as her body is now completely stiff, and lay her on her side. I silently hold her from behind, kneeling beside the bed as she slowly breaks down from the reality of her past.
I wait until her sobs are quiet to let go of her.
“I’ve got to go unlock the door for Angela to get in, Lilly. I’m not going far.”
I whisper as I lay a gentle kiss upon her temple. This is turning out to be one hell of a day as I cover her naked body with a sheet. I walk over to my pants and pick my boxers up, taking them with me as I leave the bedroom and enter the main office. I draw the door to the bedroom mostly closed just as I hear a light knock at the door.
“Who is it?”
I call, as the only person I’m letting in while I’m still naked is Angela.
“Angela.”
She calls from the other side. I unlock the door and open it slightly to let her come in. I lost my modesty with Angela a long time ago. Seeing the state I’m in she steps in quickly, closes and locks the door again. She looks upon my slowly deflating shaft before looking back to me.
“I didn’t think you used those anymore.”
“I don’t” I sigh as I roll the condom off and toss it in the trash. “And I won’t be ever again.”
I step quickly into my boxers before sitting in my chair behind my desk.
“You seem to be having a really hard time for a man who just got tied.”
I look at her briefly before ducking my head between my hands. I know she’s trying to be light but I’m struggling to process everything that has happened all before noon today.
“Demetri.” She places her hand on mine drawing my attention to her. “What happened?”
“She sought me out. Begged me to tie her. Seeing Cole’s chest stirred up really bad, old memories. I needed the release too, so I obliged our desire. Only, she panicked when the tie was establishing and tried to rip it out of herself. But something about it was enough that she finally told me what happened to her. Her mother was beaten and raped by a rogue when she was three and a half. She died a week later. Same rogue, same day paralyzed her by slamming her back into a tree before raping her beside her mother. Her father abandoned her for a year after it happened, her brother Jacob took care of her until he was chased off nine months later.
She was four and a half when he started coming at night and comforting her by rubbing her back or belly. Five when he started giving her oral sex and fingering her. She was six when he told her that it was necessary to train her how to please her mate sexually, ten when he started penetrating and simulating sex and the tie with a dildo. She was thirteen when penetrating her from behind with a larger dildo with a larger and longer tie became the expectation which set him up for raping her the first time she came in heat. He put a blindfold on her and penetrated her from behind.”
“I don’t understand Demetri. What does any of that have to do with using a condom?”
I look straight into Angela’s eyes as I speak, shame lacing my voice.
“She wasn’t certain if he had raped her or not. She explained to me that the first time she was in heat he put something she had never felt before and hadn’t felt since leaving, inside of her. She was very familiar with the feel of the vinyl dildos that he used to simulate the tie as well as, obviously, his tongue and finger. When she was in heat he changed everything she was used to. The way he held her while simulating the sex, the way he sounded, the way it felt inside her and the way it left without tying to her when he’s been preparing her for the tie for over four years. I guess she finally realized what it could be but she still wasn’t certain. So I ended up thinking out loud that I thought I knew what the difference was and she was interested in the experiment. I indulged her against my better judgment and I ended up being correct.”
“What was it?”
“He started raping her multiple times a day every day since she was fourteen using a condom.”
I pause as I make the statement out loud. Hearing myself say it seems to make it that much more factual than when it was simply in my head.
“What makes you think that?”
“The one thing I have never used with Lilly is a condom. I abstained from sex completely for the first three years after we found her. I only started with some of the smaller easier things after the mate’s union ceremony. It was after three months of her talking about wanting a pup and she came into heat that we had sex the first time. It was a year after the ceremony. I don’t remember what I did but the way she reacted a few minutes ago was the same way I had found her once I gained control again that first night. I felt so bad, convinced myself that I must have raped her, that we didn’t have sex again until she wanted another pup. While we are very close, Angela, we don’t have the intimacy level of most wolves. Most have sex three to six times a day when not in heat and we manage that, maybe, in a month.”
“So you're saying that when you put the condom on it reminded her of what she felt with this mystery object.”
“Sort of. I had her get on all fours the way he insisted on doing his simulation after she turned thirteen. I put the condom on in the bathroom since she didn’t recount the sound of foil tearing and walked into the room with her ready to penetrate. I went in from behind, used slow and short strokes but it wasn’t until I pulled her against my legs that she remembered.”
My voice is cracking as I recall everything I just learned about my precious mate. I can’t keep the tears at bay any longer.
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