Chapter 121
”You have done nothing wrong. Do not fear Lilly or Angela. Do not fight them. All they want is to calm and comfort you. I’m much too angry with Lucas to do that for you but I will be up later. I’ll spend some time with you once I calm down.”
I yelp hard as Dr. Pierce moves her hand from the back of my head. Time itself seems to freeze with my reaction to something so simple.
“I’d like to get you a milligram of Ativan. Can you hold the mask? I don’t want to strap it to you.”
Dr. Pierce’s voice is soft and encouraging as I find the will to place my hand on the mask as she lets go of it.
“What’s going on down there with you?”
I hear Luna sigh heavily as she gently starts petting my hair.
“Things have calmed down a bit. Lucas finally submitted to the fact that he’s not leaving the table until I take him upstairs to his room which allowed Patrick and Parker to go check on the prospects. He’s refusing to give me the information that I’m demanding so I’m trying to work out what I’m going to do with him. Damian is still at the table. He cleared everything but his brother’s plate and started the dishwasher. I’m not certain if he is texting or playing games but he’s still here.”
I can hear Dr. Pierce’s footsteps approaching the bed after several minutes of her opening and closing cabinets.
“Lilly, can you show Cole this medication? Show him the back so he can verify that it’s not opened as well as the dosage. Then push it through the foil and see if he’ll allow you to put it in his mouth.”
I open my eyes at her directions towards Luna. She places the phone down on the pillow, Alpha has gone silent and I can hear Dr. Pierce pulling items out of the cabinets behind me. I reach my hand out as hers comes towards mine, gently grasping her wrist where I need it to read the packaging before letting her go. She smiles gently as I close my eyes, taking a slow, deep breath as my lungs start easing up from the beginning stages of another panic induced asthma attack.
“It seems like he’s calmed down a lot since you got me on the phone.”
“His cooperation has increased. He’s actually holding the mask to his face right now. Cole, are you ready for the Ativan?”
I bring the mask away from my face and open my mouth, allowing her to drop it in.
“Demetri, when he got to the top of the steps with Madilyn and Angela, he begged me to tell you not to physically punish Lucas. That no one deserves to go through that. What did he tell you?”
I can hear Alpha sigh over the phone. I tense up knowing that alphas don’t like being told what to do with their pack.
“His pack’s discipline structure is very different from ours, there’s no mercy or consideration towards age or rank. It doesn’t surprise me that he would make such a request. I can’t promise that I won’t physically punish Lucas, as the information that Cole provided me is extremely dangerous for the girl involved but I am going to give Lucas the opportunity to avoid it. I’m sorry Cole. I don’t expect you to understand but that’s the best I can do. Let me know when he’s asleep. I’ll bring Lucas up and then grab you and Angela. We will all meet downstairs in the common room to discuss what happened.”
“I’ll see you in a little while then.”
Luna hangs up the phone as Dr. Pierce takes the mask and puts it away.
“Just breathe normally.” She speaks leaning over near my ear. I feel her press the stethoscope gently against my back, I’m surprised that I’ve calmed down so quickly. I guess hearing the alpha say I’ve done nothing wrong was something I needed, although I’ve had plenty that hurt me for no reason.
“You’re still tight but better than when you first laid down. I’m sorry to create pain after you’ve settled down so well but I’ve got to change this bandage on your leg. Tomorrow you need to take another medicated bath. I’ll bring you downstairs and let you soak in it for a while.”
I’ve tensed up as she talks. Even with her touch being gentle, it’s still difficult for me to feel her lift my leg to put the pillow between my knees so she can work without me moving around.
She’s working quickly, using scissors to get the bulk of the bandages off without hitting the burn but I still yelp in pain. I roll toward Madilyn, burying my face into the pillow and gathering the side of it into my fist.
It’s only seconds before Luna’s hand is in my hair, trying to comfort and soothe. I’m in tears by the time everything is removed from my wound. I’m fighting to stay sane with the insane amount of pain that these bandage changes create, if I were standing I’d be putting my head through the wall.
“I’m sorry Cole. I’m going to do some more research and try to find a better way of doing this. You shouldn’t have to go through this much pain for a bandage change.”
I barely hear Dr. Pierce’s voice but from what I do hear I know it’s sincere. It’s rare for me to find a doctor that feels bad about the pain I’m in when they are trying to help me. That’s perhaps the only way I manage the bandage change, by repeating to myself that she’s trying to help me.
I yelp repeatedly as she starts spreading the specialized cream around my leg. It takes everything I have not to jump off the bed and run for the hills.
I’m not certain when I realized that Luna had left me but I find it hard to contain my yelps when I feel her again behind me.
“I know it’s stronger than Demetri’s but it’s important that you don’t fight it. Don’t think about it. I promise it will help in ways you don’t understand yet.”
I can’t tell how she’s positioned behind me but I can feel her arm drape over my neck before laying her hand on the pillow beside my head.
“The inside of my wrist is the second strongest location for scent. As luna of my pack my scent will provide comfort and security to you. Take my hand in yours so you can adjust my position for the most effect on you.”
I yelp several more times at Dr. Pierce’s touch. My entire leg is on fire and it’s a struggle to stay still. I feel Madilyn roll away from me. I’m shocked as to how lonely I feel without her scent near.
“Take Lilly’s hand Cole. This is going to be rough but it should provide about eight hours of pain relief so you can sleep.”
“What are you planning to do?”
Alpha’s voice resonates through the room. I can’t help but cringe and whimper as the power he holds hits me.
“The amount of pain he’s in from this burn is extreme enough that I’d like to use a local anesthetic to numb it. I’d like to plan to have him in a medicated bath tomorrow morning and we need to get him back on IV antibiotics.” I can hear him sigh as his footsteps get closer.
“Really dad. Why do I have to be here?”
“Lucas, you have been given your instructions. While I was planning on waiting until after he was asleep to come in here, I can feel the amount of stress and pain he’s going through. You will silence yourself or pay the consequences.” I feel Luna move behind me.
“Don’t Lilly, you're just about perfect.”
I’ve closed my eyes in an effort to concentrate on my breathing. I tense as I feel Dr. Pierce wiping down my leg. I know she’s preparing to give me the lidocaine shots around my deep, infected burn but I’m not as certain as she is that the pain of receiving the shots being worth the relief I’ll get from the pain I’m already in.
I pull my leg away, whimpering into the pillow as the sting from the alcohol sets in.
“It’s a lot to ask of you but I need you to stay still. If you don’t think you can then it may be best if I use a soft restraint on just this injured leg.”
I hear her words and my anxiety spikes because of it but once again I’m losing the battle, the desperate battle I always lose, the one with my own sanity.
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