Chapter 38
“How long have you gone without eating?”
He holds up five fingers as Jamie speaks again.
“Five days”
“No one ever tried to feed you like I am?”
He closes his eyes as he tries to sigh.
“Everyone is too afraid to touch him let alone hold him like you do.”
“I know I haven’t done anything that warrants an apology but I am very sorry to hear you have suffered through such misery in the hands of those who are supposed to help.”
“He appreciates the thought. He feels that it’s not their fault. The only one at General that’s stayed long enough to get to know him and his history is Dr. Carter. It’s the budget and the rumors that are started about him that truly hurt him. Everyone thinks he is some crazy psychopath that rapes little girls. That he’s violent and unpredictable.”
“Are you ready to try and eat something?”
He gives me a confused look before pointing to the tube taped to the side of his face.
“No Cole, not the tube. We’re going to supplement the small amounts of chicken soup you drink with a nutrient rich milk based formula in the tube but if we use that as your only source then when you get off the tube your stomach has a hard time processing real food. Anytime we have a sick wolf in the wing Luna Lilly makes her famous chicken soup. The pickiest pup doesn’t even turn it away. When Angela or Kathy get it, they split it up between the patients that can’t eat regular food and they add supplements according to their age, weight, height, and rank. Then we heat up small portions up to six times a day depending on how well they're eating. They either do it themselves or someone helps them. You’re a little tall for Angela which is why I’m doing it.”
“He wants to know what’s in it?”
I squat down beside his bed and look him in the eye.
“Keep the contact Cole.”
I speak softly, encouraging him to still his darting eyes. He closes them briefly before opening them to look directly at me.
“Good job. Was Damian correct? Have you been drugged without your knowledge?”
“Can I tell him Cole? What I’ve seen while you were living with us?”
Jamie sounds almost desperate as Angela and I help Cole to sit up, raising the head of his bed after he’s up to give me the proper support to help him. I slip behind Cole while Angela supports him. Once I’m in a good position, she helps to adjust his position so his back is leaning against my chest before handing me the soup.
“Is it easier for you if I hold it in my right or left?”
“He’s not certain how to do this with either hand. No one has tried to do this except you about an hour ago.”
Jamie explains for him.
“Okay, how about I’ll start off holding it, get you to take a few sips so you can get a feel of the temperature and if it’s going to upset your stomach, then we will figure it out from there.”
I can feel him nod against my chest as I take the small portion of soup from Angela.
“I need to give you two IM shots. I can use your arm or the side of your thigh. I’ll let you pick. You came back extremely low on magnesium, potassium and vitamin K so I need to supplement them. Two shots, twice a day for the next four days. Then blood testing on your levels during the physical which will be one day next week. The needle is long but a small gauge so you will barely feel the pinch and the supplements have no burn or side effects. I promise you won't realize you’re even getting them.”
“Can you do his arm when he’s laying down again?”
“Yes, that's fine.”
Angela smiles as she walks away, setting up for the next stage of stitching Jamie’s cut.
“All right Cole. I know this is difficult for you but I need you to try, otherwise it’s going to be really difficult for you to eat normally when you leave the hospital.”
I move the small cup of soup to his mouth and wait for his reaction to it.
“It’s okay to take control Cole. It’s what I need you to do.”
He lifts his hand slowly. As if he’s expecting me to smack it away as he reaches for the cup. When I make no further moves he slowly tilts the cup back, taking his first sip of food since the previous night. He startles hard back into me but relaxes almost as quickly before taking another small sip. I can’t help but smile as his willingness to accept, even this tiny amount of food, increases with every sip. It actually hurts me when he whines as I slow him down during one of his longer drinks.
“Relax Cole. You’ve done nothing wrong. You just need to break long enough in between drinks to breathe. I’m not going to take it away. I promise this isn’t a tease. Your oxygen is still low and your lungs are still quite restricted.”
He’s breathing hard, exaggerating his wheezing, as my firm yet gentle pressure keeps him from resuming his drinking. Angela comes back over to us, handing another cup to Jamie.
“This stuff actually smells pretty good.”
I see Angela smile as we all hear his stomach grumble.
“Unfortunately, I wouldn’t recommend you eating it as it’s rich with added vitamins, minerals, protein and fats. It’s a special blend we use when wolves can’t handle regular food. That’s also why we keep the servings small but since he’s showing us he’s hungry and willing to eat, I brought just a little bit more over for you.”
She smiles as she reaches out to him, touching the side of his face.
“I need to check your eyes really quickly while you catch your breath.”
I feel him nod against my shoulder. I’m surprised at how relaxed he’s starting to feel in my hold.
“Keep your gaze on me. I have to move slowly to see the change I’m looking for since your eyes are so dark.”
It only takes a moment for her to do her assessment on his eyes and his breathing has calmed enough that I gently encourage him to resume drinking the soup. Jamie stays silent as Cole finishes both cups that were prepared for him.
I can’t help but be reminded of my own son as I listen to the soft, rhythmic wheezing that signals the young man is sleeping. Angela comes over with the two shots and four wipes. I’m relieved that she’s planning on using the lidocaine wipes which will decrease any pain from the needle pricks he feels.
She helps me get from behind him and lay him gently on his side. He grabs a hold of the warming pillow as soon as it touches his chest and I help him get into the position he desires. It’s in this 45 degree angle towards his stomach that I see his back under the brighter lights of the room. Angela was correct about him having fresh wounds in addition to the scaring.
“Cole, are you still with me?”
I ask as I touch his shoulder. He shifts slightly but not enough to really be awake.
“You have the same marks on your back that you have on your chest. How far down do these go? Angela, have you seen this yet?”
She walks over as I gently untie and fold over one side of the hospital gown he’s in. I take a deep slow breath in as I gaze upon the damage I didn’t see this morning. There’s a thin but long area of skin that’s black and blue in color. Obvious severe bruising along his ribs. The same, inch wide, angry red lines that we found on his chest cross his back from his left to his right.
“Look.”
I just about whisper as I trace two of the lines across his back to where they fade into the blackness of the bruise. I can easily trace at least ten of these marks leading into the same long bruise.
“Angela, look at this stray one. The bruising looks to be a belt buckle.”
I follow the lines across his back to his hip where it ends in a nasty bruise and scab. More cuts catch my eye and I can’t help but gently fold the waistband of his boxers down until I expose about half his rear exposing the same cuts and bruises. I’m so stunned by the discovery that I nearly miss Angela trying to touch his bruised ribs.
In a flash I grab her wrist, startling her enough that she takes a step back. My grip on her is firm but not painful as I slowly release her.
“Look at his numbers, listen to him breathe. I think he’s finally comfortable enough to relax and break the cycle.”
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