Chapter 79
He’s frozen in place, staring stiffly at the water. I stop beside him. Standing, waiting silently for him to react to my presence. I touch his hand gently as I slide my fingers into his palm, wrapping my hand around his, slowing his grasping tic. His only movement is a single shudder as he closes his eyes.
“I can’t do it alpha. It’s going to hurt me.”
The tremble in his voice is heartbreaking. No matter how I tried to convince him that it’s not going to hurt him, he’s still convinced that it is.
“Step into the tub with me.”
It hasn’t taken me long to figure out that my tone of voice is key to providing him a sense of calmness, and to my surprise, the ability to abide by most of my requests. He whines softly as I step into the tub and he remains frozen in place. I turn to face him, gently taking his other hand in mine. He steps back slightly until he feels my gentle resistance. He looks up to me slowly, apprehension in his eyes.
“It doesn’t matter what you do, the water itself hurts when I’m like this.”
His voice is soft, ashamed of admitting to his deep lying fear of experiencing more pain than what he’s already dealing with.
“That’s why we’ve medicated it. Come, Cole. This is nothing like what you’re expecting it to be.”
I watch him patiently shift his legs, watching him wince repeatedly in pain with his movements. I’ve got him on the strongest prescription pain medication I can give him but he still appears to be in significant pain from his injuries.
‘Angela’ I link as he slowly starts moving towards the tub.
‘Yes sir, is everything okay?’
‘Set him up a shot of toradol. He won’t admit to the pain he’s in.’
‘Yes sir.’
He stumbles into me getting into the tub. I grab his arms at the elbow to help stabilize him, causing him to yelp briefly before frantically apologizing. I click my tongue softly, quieting his panic.
“Stand with me a moment, Cole. It’s okay to grab my shirt.”
I reassure him softly as he leans against me.
“I know that I’m presenting you a huge challenge by asking you to trust me. To trust us. Everything we are doing is being done to help you heal. It appears that your stress levels have been very high for a long time. Long enough to severely reduce your ability to heal.”
I’m using my thumbs to gently rub his arms where I’m holding him. He nods slightly with his forehead resting against my chest to my assessment. “Start sitting down. Let’s get you acclimated to the water.”
I keep my grip gentle on his arms as I calmly try to persuade him to trust the water we have prepared for him. His body trembles as I hold him against mine.
“It’s okay, I’m going to stay with you until you trust the water. Come on, let’s sit down.”
I start crouching down gently tugging on his arm to follow me. His body is tense but he does relent. Whining softly, he follows my movements down into the water. He initially handles the slow motion of moving into the water without much fight but there’s something about his bottom hitting the water that changes everything about him.
He grabs my arms tightly as he starts resisting going any further into the water.
“Alpha please, I can’t do this.”
He whines as his feet slip from beneath him. The deeper he goes into the water the more frantic he becomes. I get down on my knees carefully straddling his kicking legs as his rear rests on the bottom of the tub. He stills his legs when he realizes that I’m over them but it doesn’t calm his fight, increasing my concern.
“Alpha please. This always hurts me. I can’t do this. Please. I’m sorry I’m weak but I can’t do this.”
I adjust my hold on him so that the majority of his body is now in the water. His fight is weaker than I expect it to be allowing me to easily subdue his fight. I use my body weight to gently pin his arms to his chest while cradling his head in my hands, ensuring that his head doesn’t become submerged. I use this position to get closer to him, talking calmly in his ear.
“Cole, you’re making me wonder if medicated baths were used as a form of punishment. Have they?”
He stills suddenly at my question but doesn’t answer so I move on to what I really need from him.
“Now that you're quiet and still I really need you to feel the water. Concentrate on what you’re feeling right now, not what it’s been in the past. I need you to answer two things. Is the water too hot and is there any pain at all?”
His eyes are closed as he breathes heavily, recovering from his fear driven fight.
“The temperature is fine but…..” He trails off as if he’s embarrassed to admit what he feels.
“Cole. We talked before ever getting you in the bath. I need to know what you feel so I can adjust the water.”
“It always hurts alpha. There’s…..”
“No Cole.” He winces at my interruption. “What do you feel right now?”
Even though his behavior makes it obvious that he’s uncomfortable, I need him to tell me. There’s a long pause where all you can hear is my hand dipping into the water and gently wetting the back of his head. His body jolts in my hold as Angela comes through the door.
“I’m sorry alpha. The water burns. All over me. Please stop putting it on my head. I can’t stay in here. Please let me go.”
His fight renews as he reaches for the edge of the tub.
“Looks like you could use a little help.”
“Yes, thank you.” I respond to Angela as my grip on Cole starts to falter.
“I had a feeling that one set of the medication wouldn’t be enough for the amount of injuries he has so I grabbed a second bag. It’s on the counter.”
Cole freezes up again as we both hear Angela walk over to the counter and the rustle of the plastic bag as she picks it up. Cole is trembling hard as she opens the first bottle and pours it in the water around his body. He grabs my arms desperately trying to pull himself out of the water.
As the second bottle is being poured his fear is impossible to imagine as he pushes away from me and grabs the side of the tub with both hands.
He has entered full fight or flight mode as his desperation to get out of the water grows.
He yelps loudly as his legs rub against mine, repeatedly pushing me away as I try to gather him in my arms desperately trying to comfort and console the young man’s panic. I can tell that he’s tiring but he won’t give up this fight easily. Thinking quickly I turn on my parental side in the hopes of not having to submit him.
“Cole, you will stop this!”
My tone is firm but my aura is fatherly. My desire is that the combination will freeze his fight without the panic that occurs during submission. He freezes completely, gripping the side of the tub so hard his knuckles are turning white, panting wildly as he begs.
“Alpha please. I can handle the water like it is. Please stop adding to it. Please stop adding salt.”
I look at Angela. It’s obvious she has heard his pleas but had stopped adding anything to the water when the second bottle was finished.
“Come to me, Cole.” I nearly whisper as I attempt to gather him into my arms like one of my own pups.
His resistance is weak as he whimpers, his eyes are closed as I gently remove his hands from the tub. He’s trembling violently but seems to be responding to my slower than normal movements.
“Wrap your arms around me and lay your head on my shoulder with your nose to my neck.”
I’ve calmed my voice considerably as I ease him into my arms.
“Your panic makes me believe that these baths have been used to punish you. I know you're struggling to talk to me about what’s going on with you but please, Cole, give me something I can work with. I don’t like the level of force I’m using on you.”
“Salt baths have hurt me for a long time. It doesn’t matter how little you put in it, I still feel it.” He whispers as I hold him close to my chest.
I sigh as I start playing with his hair again, slowly and gently introducing the water to the back of his head. He whimpers and whines as the warm water hits his scalp.
“I was hoping calling it a medicated bath would allow you to associate it with something different after Jamie told me of what he witnessed.”
“I can feel the salt in the bath.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to trick you. The truth is, we are aware of how badly they hurt and over time we have found additional medications that we can add that make the salt baths pleasant and comforting. I need you to feel the water, Cole. We will keep adding to it until it no longer burns and I will stay with you until you are comfortable with the water.”
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