Chapter 168
“Sir, it’s going to take me hours to calm him enough to get everything done. Perhaps it would be better to wait until morning?” Caspian speaks shyly.
“Now that, I disagree with. I’m taking over Cole’s care and I want that four day supply of medical supplies ready to go by eight. Sooner than that would be better as I’m not leaving until he’s in my wing. I need everyone who’s coming back to the wing to follow my directions.”
I turn to face Caspian. I meet his eyes briefly before he looks to the ground.
“I need you to follow without question.”
I see Caspian nod without any further explanation of my needs.
“Day, get a hold of Jessa or Angela. We need the ambulance in order to move him. When they get here they need to bring the bed to the third floor room fifteen. Luke, help your mom with the girls. You’ll understand why in a minute. Caspian….”
“Casper, alpha please. Caspian is when I’ve done something wrong.”
“Casper, I need you to look Cole over without touching him. This may take you off the schedule you worked at establishing but in his current state of mind replacing anything that doesn’t require touch will help me to get him in a submissive state.”
He sighs deeply as he shakes his head.
“Everything requires me to touch him.”
“Okay.”
I nod as I get closer to Cole. He shrinks further into himself, ducking his head down into his arms and squeezing his hands even tighter.
“Lynnie, do you remember last week when I let you lay with Cole?”
I see Alice open her mouth but I snap my tongue loudly stopping her before she starts.
“He was scared. He wanted a hug but was scared to touch me. It made me sad. I ran away which made him sad.”
“It made him feel like he did something wrong. Do you remember what he did when I touched him?”
“He cried. He yelped like Luke when delta hit him. Are you going to hurt him daddy?”
“No Lynnie. He hasn’t done anything wrong. But what I need to do to help Casper get him where he’s safe is going to be very hard on him. You’ve heard him cry out before so I need you to help Maddie.”
“Yes sir.”
I can tell by the tremble in her voice that she doesn’t like the idea of him yelping but there’s no way around what he needs.
“Cole, I need you to listen to my words. I know your fear is extremely high so I know it’s more difficult to concentrate but it’s very important that you understand. I know asking you to relax after you’ve been attacked isn’t going to happen so…..”
I take a moment to gather my thoughts as I don’t want to scare him but sugar coating anything for him is nearly lying.
“Cole, I’m going to submit you.”
Cole whines loudly as his body tenses up even further.
“But sir. In his chart it says no submission holds and hospital policy on highly reactive…..”
“Caspian,” I warn gently. “It’s not the most ideal situation and I’m aware of what his chart says as I’m the one who put that note in it. Cole, I’m going to start with what you already know.”
He tightens up even more at the thought but before I can touch him he cries out in obvious pain. It’s when I look at his legs that I realize that he’s trying to curl into the fetal position but the cath is causing him pain. I’m surprised but don’t change what I’m doing when he growls at my touch. I keep my hand high but still on the top of his head as I talk to him gently.
“I know submission has been overused and very painful for you. With that in mind, I am very sorry for resorting to using it in this situation. You’re already quite terrified but your fight or flight response is extremely high and making it so Casper can’t help you. So…. Instead of heavily drugging you, I would like to try this first. I’m not going to hurt you Cole.”
I’ve slowly moved my hand down the back of his head. Gently, repetitively brushing the tips of my fingers against his scalp. I keep the same pattern as my fingers brush the edge of his neck.
“Alpha please no.”
Cole whines as he talks to me for the first time in days. I look up from Cole briefly to see a very worried Caspian slowly push a stool over to where I stand. I give him a gentle smile and nod as I move to sit down without removing my hand from Cole. Once I’m settled I move closer to Cole, placing my other hand on top of the ones tightly gripping his hair. He whines again as I move further onto his neck.
“You’re not in trouble Cole. This isn’t going to hurt you.”
The further on his neck I get the more he whines and squirms. He’s building himself up badly for something painful to happen and I know this is going to be quite rough.
I stand from the chair I just sat in, preparing myself for a battle. I lift the hand on his head, adjusting my position and hoping that he might relax a little. I lean over him, placing my hand on the back of his head, rubbing gently as I place the other hand on top of his again.
“Relax with me Cole. The only reason I’m going for submission is because of how tense and frightened you are. You’re not in trouble but we do need compliance with our instructions.”
He whines again, rocking his body in an effort to get me off of him. I stop my movements and wait for him to settle before sliding my entire hand on to the back of his neck. My touch is gentle, following the natural curve of his neck but it doesn’t matter. He fights my touch hard, yelping as he thrashes around in a vain effort to get me off his neck. I use my body and free hand to gently cover his upper body, slowly calming his fight. Even though his injuries are healing nicely I know he’s still in a lot of pain from the septicemia and silver poisoning.
His whimpers continue lightly as he gives into his wolf’s instincts to submit. I place my hands on his, gently lowering them back down to his chest interrupting his desire to put his hands back into his hair.
“I don’t want to hold you in submission but it’s really important that you stay submissive so we can get you taken care of and back to the wing. As long as you stay calm I want to start giving you back control. I think it will help calm your anxiety if you have a say in what’s going on.”
I feel him nod his head as he manages to finally talk.
“Alpha, can you help me?”
“What’s wrong that I can help you with?”
I respond as I move my hand from his neck to the back of his head.
“The cath hurts me.”
“I noticed that. How about we try allowing you to take over that function?”
“Please.” He whispers as he nods his head.
“Anything else hurting?”
“My mouth.”
“Ok, which is worse?”
“South.”
“Okay. I am sorry that I went with submission but it did give me what we needed. It shocked you out of your terror enough that you’re able to understand what’s going on and talk with us. I’m going to get Caspian started on you but I’m going to stay with you every step he takes. I need you to talk to me, Cole. If you’re afraid, if something hurts, even if something triggers a bad feeling, I need you to tell me so we can change it before you become overwhelmed.”
I can tell he doesn’t like what I’m asking him to do as exposing his triggers brings him very close to exposing his living hell but I need to build his trust. I need a starting point and this was the best I could come up with.
“Caspian…..” I stop and clear my throat. “I’m sorry. Casper.”
“You’ve calmed down quite a bit so I can handle being called Caspian.”
“No. You asked to be called Casper and I will honor that as much as possible. I need you to start with three things, in this order. Pain medication, is he still on Vicodin?”
“Yes sir. It’s given every six hours.”
“Perfect. We’re coming up on six o’clock. I want to start with that but hold on the Valium. The codeine may provide enough of a sedative effect to get him back without triggering a panic attack. Second, the cath is hurting him and I’d like to give him that function of his body back. Third, it appears Alice busted his lip. After that, look him over for what he needs and let me know if you need any assistance.”
“Yes sir.”
I hear Caspian start walking around behind Cole, gathering his supplies as the tiny footsteps of my daughter approaches me from behind.
“Is he ok, daddy?”
“He’s very scared again.”
“Why was the nurse mean to him?”
“She heard bad things about him and believed them to be true.”
She looks like she wants to cry as she moves in front of Cole.
“Are you awake?”
She gently touches his hand as I hear Allen stifle Alice‘s commentary. I’m watching their interaction together and I’m pleased with her desire to connect with him.
“Hey, sweet pea.”
He whispers, keeping his eyes closed. Before I could stop her she buries her head into his shaking hands. I can tell he wants to pull away but he seems hesitant to upset her creating a major conflict with him. She grabs ahold of the sheet and starts pulling, jumping before she stops and gently starts rubbing his arm.
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