Chapter 59
I take a moment to stop and look at my sweet, sensitive Madilyn. I brush her hair out of her eyes as I smile gently at her.
“I know. He’s very afraid, Lynnie. That’s actually why he ended up here. He got so afraid that he couldn’t breathe so we brought him here to help him. Like you, he’s afraid of shots. But that’s because he had a doctor who gave him too much medication. It made him very sick for quite a while. But that’s not going to happen here. He’s only getting what he needs. Do you want to help me make him less scared of the shots? Jamie told me that he really likes the little wolves. He cares for them when their parents can’t be there.”
She looks fearfully at the tray of syringes before looking back at me and nodding. Angela has added to his list of medication and I’m torn about giving them all at once. It’s obvious by the number of supplements she’s added that he’s malnourished as the only time we give IV or IM injections of supplements is when they are dangerously low.
I hand the tray to Madilyn before picking her up off the counter and carrying her over to Cole’s bed. I set her down gently as I look over his numbers.
“Cole, are you still awake?”
“Barely.”
He whispers as he cracks open his eyes. I take the tray from Madilyn as I pull up a stool to the head of his bed. I watch Madilyn get comfortable, crossing her legs as she sits near his chest.
“Hello.”
He speaks quietly as he reaches out to Madilyn, stopping short of actually touching her. She cocks her head to one side, looking a bit sad at his refusal.
“What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”
“I know Dallas shared the rumors that are going around my pack. I don’t think your dad would want me to touch you.”
“Then why did he sit me here with you?”
“I don’t know sweetpea.”
“Daddy, he’s afraid to touch me.”
I can see the tears forming in her eyes as she has never encountered such a thing from an adult wolf. I hate to admit it but this was actually a test to confirm Jamie’s story about Cole’s fear of caring for his siblings. It does appear to be true. He is indeed terrified to touch my daughter, even in my presence.
“Relax Cole. Jamie told me how being with pups helps you to relax. That’s why I brought her over here. If you’re okay with it, I’d like her to lay with you a minute, snuggle with you as I give you these shots. I’ve got four supplements and a longer lasting medication for your nausea that has to be injected IM, as well as a lower dose of the steroid and pain medication going in your IV.”
“Do you know about the rumor that I’m a pedophile?”
“Yes, Dallas mentioned that as well as another nasty one that I don’t want to mention in front of Lynnie.”
“Are you choosing to ignore the rumors?”
“Unfortunately I can’t simply ignore rumors that serious as there’s always some level of truth to them but I am choosing to give you a chance to prove the rumors wrong.”
He looks at Madilyn again as she cries. I feel bad that such a simple thing has upset her like this.
“Please don’t cry little one.”
Cole speaks gently as he wipes the tears from her eyes. I can see his hand tremble as he moves to touch her hair. He looks hurt as she moves away from him and towards me.
“I don’t like this daddy.”
She whimpers as he draws his hand away from her.
“He’s afraid of me. I don’t like it.”
She crawls off the bed into my arms as she starts crying even harder.
“It’s okay sweetheart, he’s quite afraid of me too.”
I rub her back gently as he hides his face from us. I can tell by the way he’s breathing that he’s quite upset with the interaction as well.
“I’m sorry Cole. I guess I didn’t handle this as well as I should have. Madilyn is quite tired making her even more sensitive then she normally is. She came looking for me because she’s had a very uneasy feeling for most of the day. It’s been so bad today that she has barely touched any of her meals and she’s normally a very good eater. I believe the unease she’s experiencing is because of you, Cole. She can sense that you’re unwell and in need of help.”
I reach over and start rubbing the back of his head gently as Madilyn’s crying subsides. She startles badly when he yelps from the unexpected contact from me causing a renewal of her tears, this time for other reasons.
“Daddy please….. don’t hurt him….. He didn’t mean….. to scare me….”
She hiccups through her concern for him.
“I didn’t hurt him, Lynnie. I started rubbing his head and right now he feels like he did something wrong. He was expecting me to hurt him so it scared him when I touched him.”
“He’s a big wolf daddy. Why would he be afraid of doing something wrong?”
She sniffles as she calms down. I sigh as I kiss the side of her head. I’m still gently rubbing Cole’s head but he’s still stiff and curled into a protective position with his forearms covering his face. He’s twitching badly with my contact. I can tell that he wants to move away from my touch even though I know I’m not hurting him. I loosen my hold on Madilyn as she tries to turn around.
“Cole? Why are you afraid of me?”
I pause my movements a moment slightly shocked at her sudden boldness. For the first time in several minutes he moves his arms away from his face.
“It’s not you that I’m afraid of.”
It’s in the silence that Madilyn sees his arms. The pinkish purple two inch wide bands that circle his wrists and the angry red scabs that border inch wide stripes chaotically crossing his forearms.
“He’s hurt.”
I hear Madilyn whisper as she grazes his wrist with her finger, drawing back when she hears the strangled sound of him choking back a yelp.
“I’m sorry daddy. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”
I can see the tears forming again as I turn her to face me again.
“No Madilyn. You didn’t hurt him. He’s very scared right now. He’s hurt and sick on another alpha’s land so he doesn’t understand how we are going to treat him.”
“But he’s in the hospital. You’re taking care of him.”
“We are taking care of him Lynnie but when his own pack, his own family, hurts him badly for everything he does wrong. He doesn’t know how not to be afraid. He likes being with the little wolves like you because they love him unconditionally. They don’t want to hurt him so it’s easier for him to relax and love them back. The reason he’s scared to touch you is there is a really bad rumor that claims he hurts little girl pups in his pack and he gets punished harshly every time he spends time with them.”
“Why doesn’t he stop playing with them?”
I’m surprised when I hear his response.
“I’m protecting them.” He whispers. “I won’t stop protecting them.”
I smile lightly as Madilyn cocks her head at his response. I must admit that I’m quite shocked as well.
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