Chapter 207
Friday, May 25th
(Cole’s POV)
It’s been a month since my epic meltdown over my father. Something about that day changed alpha, changed me. True to what Dr. Pierce described, I spent the majority of the first day sleeping. They did decrease the amount of sedative I received the next day but I still ended up napping for most of the day.
Alpha insisted on me staying with him. He insisted that I take his bed when I became too sedated to function, yet strangely, I didn’t want to be alone. I found his couch to comfortably suit my needs and there were many times that I woke to a blanket covering me and a pillow under my head. As much as it hurt to believe that he was going to beat me just to prove to my dad that he was just as bad as him, he never did.
Through the haze of confusion my brain registered that he was acting, playing the part my father expected of him to protect me. To chase him away. If this alpha was willing to do that for me while I was trapped and vulnerable, I’m certain he’d take on his own pack to do the same. When I stop and think about it, he already has.
I became his shadow even after I was taken off the sedative and returned to my room. For the first time in years I’m listening to my inner voice, my wolf and he’s insisting that we get to know this pack.
Once I was off the sedative, I joined him on a trip to general. I was still fearful. It took a lot out of me to be there but he worked with me, reassured me quietly every time I froze up and tried to turn back. He brought me with him to attend his monthly meeting with Dr. Christiansen. I was fine just listening to their work talk until the nurse, Alice, was brought up. Just hearing her name after she was so cruel sent shivers through my body. Alpha had to intervene while also encouraging Dr. Christiansen to continue talking about what happened to her. Turns out, he did indeed fire her after reviewing the tape of her neglecting and assaulting me that day. She was given two weeks of pay and a moving truck to take her back to her home pack.
I’ve only got about eight weeks left here and that knowledge is messing with my head in a bad way. I’ve gotten used to joining alpha for breakfast and lunch in the banquet hall. As long as I’m with him no one says a thing about me. I’ve also started sitting with them during dinner. Alpha Lucas is still a painful thorn in my side but even alpha is at a loss trying to figure that one out. He’s had me sit in a private room with him during one of his talks with Dr. Richards but it’s the same mess on repeat. I’m a pedophile and he doesn’t understand how no one else is willing to see it.
I’ve got to give some credit to my wolf. He was just as eager to leave the other three packs I’ve been to as he was to leave home but here? It’s more than just his mate that draws him in.
‘Mate. Find mate, please. Something is wrong. Wolf is weak. Needs help.’
I shake my head gently as he’s becoming more persistent with his request.
I stopped by the med wing just long enough to find her lingering scent and there was nothing about it that alarmed me. I easily know the scents indicative of stress. Fear, pain, sadness, even loneliness all have very distinct and, at least for me, pungent smells that I cannot ignore.
I stood outside the closed door of her pediatric room for several minutes. Her scent wasn’t very strong but it was enough for me to be able to verify that she was inside working and the only stress pheromones I detected were those that come with caring for a cranky infant.
I don’t think the little one settles down once during its visit. I left in a hurry when I heard the cry change to the high pitched squeal that comes with pain. It took me back to all the steroid shots that I would receive when I was young and the ass beating I’d get from mom when I screamed. That’s where I am now.
I’ve diverted from my usual schedule with the alpha. He had an urgent meeting at Crimson General that he had to attend. He invited me to come with him but I turned him down due to my wolf’s concern for Jessa. I’m swinging lightly on the front porch of the pack house waiting for my nerves to straighten out.
“I didn’t expect to find you out here.”
I open my eyes quickly to find myself watching the alpha climb the three steps up to the porch.
“Although as lovely as today is, I can see taking advantage of it and going on a nice run through the woods. Care to join me?”
I shake my head no but there is no fooling alpha.
“What’s wrong Cole?”
He asks as he takes a seat on the swing beside me.
“I’m not sure.”
“Cole?”
He has a slightly accusatory tone to his voice.
“I’m actually quite serious, alpha. I don’t know if something is wrong or not.”
He smiles subtly as he gently places his hand on my leg.
“Well then, let’s talk through what’s going on.”
I was expecting him to be frazzled from such a sudden meeting at the hospital but he’s really just the opposite making it easier for me to open up what’s going on currently.
“I have a lot of things going on in my head right now but the most concerning is Jessa.”
“What’s going on with Jessa?”
Even alpha has a note of concern with me bringing her up.
“I was hoping maybe you could tell me. My wolf keeps telling me to seek her out. That her wolf is weak and in need of help but when I stood outside the closed door of the room she was in I couldn’t smell any reason for her to be in danger.”
“I can see how this message is confusing. Has your wolf ever been wrong?” I shake my head slowly.
“No sir.” I quickly look around me and even scent the air to confirm that no one is within hearing distance.
“He was right about what the pre-shifts needed when Olivia started coming to me. When you convinced me to allow him to scent Madilyn at the table, you were right. He backed off because he could tell after scenting her that the cramps were caused by something he couldn’t help with. I never got a chance to tell you that he apologized. He felt bad for not listening to me.”
“So I was correct when I assumed that you’ve been taught to fear your wolf?”
“I don’t fear him alpha.” I correct him softly. “But we don’t have a normal relationship, you are correct there.”
“So what is it that your wolf is telling you?”
“All he says is that my mate’s wolf is weak. That’s why I was hoping you might have some insight into it.”
“I have limited information and that’s not simply because I want her to tell you over me telling you.”
“Why wouldn’t you know? She’s a member of your pack.”
“Yes, she is.” He confirms.
I want to press him for answers but my wolf holds me back.
“Jessa has a similar history as you. The big difference is it wasn’t her parents that abused her.”
He pauses as he leans back into the swing, pushing it lightly with his feet.
“I have not worked with Jessa the way I have worked with you. While her abuse is significant enough that she does suffer with ptsd and anxiety, my understanding is the side effects of the standard medication was too much. Over the three years she’s been here I believe she’s developed enough trust towards me and the other alphas that help me that she doesn’t feel the need to be on it. We have an open door policy we’re she can talk to me, Julie or Angela about any fears she may have but I believe her best friend and confidant is my son, Damian.
They are very close. She had only been here for two weeks when he foolishly crashed one of my cars into a tree. She saved his life as well as the life of Parker and Celine. It was a really rough time for her, transitioning into my pack. She ran into Angela during the week-long medical convention that took place at Purple Mountain that year. Angela was immediately suspicious of the bruises on her face and her very shy nature.
Ever since she moved back she would call me anytime she was away and on the second night she mentioned the young girl she hadn’t officially met yet. By the fourth day she found out a name and that she was in the process of being kicked out of the pack. I called the alpha of the pack and started asking questions as to why such a young nurse was getting kicked out. He claimed that she was feral and he gave her the choice of willingly leaving the territory after the convention or he turns her in as a feral. She decided to leave peacefully. So I made the arrangements for her to leave with Angela in three days.”
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