Chapter 23
I know what I want to do. I’ve played it over in my head many times but that doesn’t make it any easier to do. It’s been hard to show my love to my luna, to show her my wants and desires for her heart, body and soul. The moon goddess paired me with a beautifully made luna who was traumatized by her father for years after her mother passed. She was the only girl and the youngest of four. To this day I don’t know the specifics of what happened to her.
I’m laying on top of her, still between her legs supporting myself on my arms that I’ve tucked beneath her. She’s closed her eyes as she’s trying to gain control of her emotions. It’s been years since I’ve demanded control, that I was going to challenge everything that she fears. I’ve only done it twice before now. Both times she was in heat, first when she was ready for our second pup and the second was five years ago when she wanted to try for our third, we got twins instead.
I have found over the years that she has to completely submit to me in order for her to handle the tie. This means I have to have complete control because the tie starts occurring before I’m done ejaculating. I’ve gotten used to pulling out and finishing myself outside of her over the years as it’s been a rare but beautiful occurrence for her to orgasm.
I allow her to use her hands or mouth, whatever she’s comfortable with at the moment, to finish my release. Considering the panic the tie creates, that to this day she struggles to get past, it’s the least I can do for a comfortable sexual life with her. Most wolves do in a day what we manage to do in a month.
It’s as her body starts to relax beneath me that I have my plan and start easy on her again. We have both cooled down sexually speaking so getting the arousal back for both of us is my first step. I duck my head down beside hers, allowing my wolf to purr softly near her ear. She immediately responds with a purr relaxing her body even more beneath me. I start with my gentle kisses, sensual and sweet, from her temple to her mark earning me a quiet moan as I barely graze my extended canines over her mark.
I’m relieved when she joins in, using her hands to gently guide me back to her mouth. I’m always nervous when I demand submission from my luna. As my mate she is an equal to me even if she’s not comfortable exercising that dominance.
I’ve always hated demanding submission from her but I have found it a necessary evil when she panics, when any of them panic. I nip her bottom lip, slipping my tongue inside when she gasps, greedily wrestling her tongue for dominance as I feel her stifling her giggles. Such a simple feeling relaxes me, allowing my mind to get away from the nagging dread I’ve felt most the morning.
I move my mouth down her body until I reach her breasts again. I grab one in my hand, gently massaging the supple mound, barely grazing her nipple with my thumb. I’m getting her started with the simple things that she’s gotten comfortable with me doing over the years.
Her challenge tonight, outside of her usual, is my desire to taste her. She’s putty in my hand as I flick the other nipple with my tongue before drawing it gently into my mouth. I combine the use of my tongue with the gentle suction from my mouth to make her breathing rise faster and her body squirm. Our lock into each other through the link allows me to feel what she physically feels, reassuring me that her squeals and squirm are in pure enjoyment.
I switch to the other breast committing myself to giving her the same enjoyment for the same amount of time. My soldier is rock hard and ready for a piece of the action. Although it took over a year after Damian was born to touch her this way, I was able to get her to enjoy it. The same can’t be said for anything further south.
It’s as I’m sucking on her nipple, swapping sides every minute or two, that I arch my back so my hardness starts rubbing the softness between her legs. Keeping it familiar, I start rubbing slowly. First her inner thighs before grazing her slit without entering. It’s as my pressure increases that her body freezes and I can feel the anxiety building through the link. I wrap my arms around Lilly as I command her mouth’s attention. She relaxes in my hold slightly as I continue my slow grinding against her southern lips.
It’s when she relaxes completely in my arms again that I trail kisses to her ear.
“Relax with me Lilly. Accept whatever I decide to do. I’m completely locked into the link with you and I swear to you that nothing I do will hurt you. Focus on me and what you’re feeling from me.”
I whisper in her ear before going back to her mouth,commanding her attention again. I slow my grind against her as my mouth trails slowly down her body again. She’s gone still and stiff, just like the other times I attempted to do this with her. I’m very predictable so I know she understands what’s coming, she’s just never told me why it makes her so uncomfortable when physically she’s very responsive to every touch, every lick, every bite.
I stop briefly and give each nipple a delicate suck before trailing further south to her navel. I stop at her abdomen, trying to give her time to follow my trail. It’s when I can barely feel what I’m doing to her that I lightly nip her skin before soothing it with a lick. I know I have her back on me when I can feel everything, her thoughts, her pleasure and her pain. After several minutes I trail to my final destination, the one I rarely get to, her southern lips between her legs.
I gently rub her inner thighs encouraging her to relax and open up to me. I can feel her anxiety building but so far she’s still calm. I start with kisses along her inner thighs before gently rubbing the outside of her slit. She shifts slightly with the contact but doesn’t fight it. I can feel through the link that she’s struggling, so I follow my instincts on what I feel she truly needs and pause my progress until she seems a bit more relaxed.
I slowly start putting enough pressure on my middle finger to slowly push into her slit, smiling when I feel her juices coating my finger. Her breath catches briefly but I can feel through the link that she is trying hard to stay 100 percent focused on me. Something I’ve never required her to do before, so far, it seems to help.
I change my fingers to my forefinger and thumb, keeping the same gentle pressure and speed as I slowly introduce spreading her lips apart. The closer I get to what I want her to experience the harder it becomes for her, but I know she needs this. She needed this a long time ago. It’s as I drag my fingers up toward her sensitive nub that I slow down until I stop at the top, I slowly spread her lips until I can see the sensitive piece of flesh between my fingers. I duck my head down and in one quick motion, run my tongue over her clit. She startles badly but doesn’t fight. I think the fighting against this was trained painfully out of her a long time ago.
“Please don’t bite me.”
I hear a desperate whisper escape from within her. A clue that I could finally work with.
“There will be no pain, at all from here on Lilly. Lots of pressure but I promise no pain. I need you to focus on what you feel, baby.”
I speak quietly trying to reassure her of the rest of the venture we’re on. Once she relaxes a little, I duck down into her again, gently using my tongue to flick her clit as my fingers hold her lips open.
She manages this well until I introduce a single finger into her entrance. She stiffens badly at the new intrusion, a soft whimpering escapes from within her before she starts relaxing again.
I can feel her pleasure through the bond as well as the link but her apprehension blocks her from fully enjoying it. I kiss on her thighs again as I gently rub the inside of her entrance, wanting her to relax before moving into the next part.
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