Chapter 183
There’s something about his refusal to talk that tells me he’s determined to leave in July and I can’t stand the idea of him leaving me. I feel this is a unique situation where we are completely alone and I can push him a little farther than I normally would to get answers from him.
“I understand that you don’t want to talk about breaking into your father’s computer. I get that, I really do. This room is soundproof and no one is going to bother us. I need you to open up to me. It’s a lot to ask of you but it seems like you’re determined to return home and I need to understand why.”
I explain my position gently as I slowly walk back to the desk. He’s completely stopped working on the computer, staring at me intently. Worry and fear consume him as he briefly makes eye contact with me. I watch him as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. A clear sign that I spiked his anxiety. Using that to my benefit is a dangerous move but I’m hoping to get him angry instead of the normal childlike breakdowns he’s been having.
He returns to his typing, remaining silent. I give him several minutes before trying again.
“How old were you when you first accessed your dad’s Big Brother program?”
I decide to try and work up to the information he’s so hesitant to give me.
“Nineteen.”
His reply is simple and barely audible, even with my heightened werewolf hearing, I barely pick up on what he says.
“So after you moved back into the pack house from your apprenticeship with the Jenkins.”
He nods silently as he continues to type and click.
“With your permission, alpha, I’d like to unlock your programming so you can access five years of video feed easily but in doing so, I will need you to come over here and create a password so the information feed is encrypted.”
Although I have always appreciated one’s ability to remain serious and on topic I’m also frustrated by his inability to open up.
“Are you ready now?” I ask almost shocked that he could have done it so quickly.
“No sir. It’s going to take a little longer for me to crack the codes the company put on the program.”
“The company? I didn’t think they were the ones to put restrictions on the video feed.”
“Based on the research I’ve done on the company, you fill out a questionnaire that tells them what you’re looking for and when you sign a contract with them they set the program up to your specifications. If you need to change those parameters then you have to pay them to come out and change them.”
“Yet you figured out how to hack into their system and change those parameters for nothing more than seeing if you could?”
I try to keep my voice calm but I can tell by the way he looks at me that he can hear the irritation behind it.
“No, alpha. I concentrate my learning on skills that I need to know.”
“Why did you need to know this?”
He stops working completely. Closing his eyes as he looks down toward the floor.
“Cole?”
I reach out to his shaking hand, lightly touching the tips of his fingers now frozen above the keyboard. He pulls away from my touch, sucking a sharp, shaky breath in before speaking.
“It’s not something I can talk about.”
His voice is quiet and submissive concerning me as to the reasons behind his desire to hack into such a system. I remain silent as he resumes typing hoping the distraction will help keep him from going over the edge. I wait until his typing slows again, taking my time to think of how I could possibly convince him to stay here past July.
“I don’t want you to leave. Do you know that?”
He looks at me briefly before training his eyes back to the screen.
“No. Why would I? Every pack my dad has sent me to couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I am nothing but a liability.”
His voice is quiet and something about his tone is utterly heartbreaking. I can hear in his voice how he has given up hope. The last thing I need him to believe is that there’s no way out.
“Cole, stop.” My voice is gentle and pleading. “Stop and look at me.”
He stops but instead of looking at me he turns his body towards me. He places his arms on the desk, his head bowed. I take his hands in mine, my grip is gentle as he twitches, fighting his own instincts to pull away. I remain quiet, rubbing my thumbs on the tops of his hands, waiting for his desire to fight me to wane.
“It’s a terrifying thought.”
I start slowly hoping that he’d look up to my face even if he can’t manage to look into my eyes. He swallows hard but doesn’t move.
“The idea of you going home after seeing the extensive injuries he sent you away with absolutely terrifies me. I don’t want you to leave but I can’t force you to stay. I have done everything I can to keep my word to you.”
“You said you would keep the council out of it. I told you what would happen if you involved the council, yet you filed a protection from torture request on my behalf.”
He’s trying hard to remain composed but his voice wavers as if he’s trying to convince me of my own actions.
“Yes I did. I knew when I called Xavier the first time that the council had visited your pack shortly after you arrived home from the first three runs but my early conversations with him kept your name and your pack's name out of it.
Jessa’s declaration to the council and a formal complaint about the condition you were in when you got here were submitted to the council the Monday after you were admitted to the ICU, although I never heard anything back from them.
Last month, the day you had your dual with Lucas, Jamie found me in my office. I had just gotten done speaking with Xavier after sending him the completed application for protection from torture. Unfortunately the news I received was not what I was looking for. I only had physical evidence and only pieces of what actually took place so the likelihood that you would be granted such protection quickly is quite low. Without your willingness to talk, I can’t pursue protection for you like I did the others that I have helped. I have no ability to force you to stay under my protection as there is nothing to keep your dad from sending his warriors to collect you and force you home.”
“I didn’t believe that you could protect me, so what’s the purpose of talking? At least you’re willing to admit that you can do nothing to stop him.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Cole.” I give him a moment to fully comprehend what I have said.
“I am a sanctuary pack and I’m aware of several protection orders, most of which I believe you would qualify for, that I can file to keep you here.
There are two different protection from torture orders but the information I had only qualified you for the first one. One order is protection from torture where on going torture is likely to occur. All that one does is call attention to the ill treatment of a wolf but isn’t considered a high priority.
The second one, protection from on going torture as well as protection from abuse both automatically create restraining orders preventing your father from being able to force you home while they investigate. They are both far more complicated than that but that’s the simplest way to describe the most important aspect.”
“But I have to talk about what he’s done to me. Prove to you that I’m not making it up.”
His voice is laced with anger, the anger I expect from him considering he’s talked three times before me and three times he was deceived.
“I have no way of knowing beforehand what tests the council would order to confirm your testimony against your father but I can assure you that no testing would be done before the council has responded and other protections have been put in place.”
He shakes his head as he suddenly pushes away from the desk, standing angrily.
“Cole please!” I beg as he paces the floor. “I understand that you’re scared and goddess knows you have every right to be but I need something to give them. We both know what will happen if you return home. We both know that he intended to kill you ten weeks ago and it was only by sheer luck that my strict and merciless reputation is what your father relied upon when he chose to send you here. We both know you would be dead if you hadn’t come here. Cole please. What has he done to you to convince you there’s no way out? That there is no freedom?”
I know he can hear the desperation in my voice as his pacing increased substantially before coming to a stop. Even the anger on his face couldn’t prepare me for what came next.
“There is no freedom without innocence!”
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