Chapter 33
“I believe his exact words were, ‘How many people have been between your legs while I was wasting away waiting for you’. Is that right, Ben?” I enunciated his name, making it clear, I was still angry at both of them.
“That was the gist, yeah.” He admitted, unable to look me in the eye.
“I will rip his balls off, that piece of shit!” Maria practically screamed.
“Maria!” Ben snapped at her.
“Oh, hell no! She should make him crawl on his knees over broken glass for a mile before he would even be allowed to look at her! That bastard!” People were looking and I was feeling embarrassed. “Don’t you worry about him contacting you again, when I’m done with him, he won’t be able to dial a phone for a month!” She snapped through gritted teeth. Ben opened his mouth to say something, and she growled at him. I smiled at her grateful that she wasn’t asking me to just forgive and forget. “I understand you not wanting anything to do with Daniel but, if you ever want to grab a drink and bitch about what an absolute tool he is, please call me! Anyway, here is my contacts, I’ve highlighted the best ones.” She pulled a folder out of her large handbag. “It’s sorted by type of vendor, caterers are at the front, but there’s linen rentals, musicians, you name it, it’s in here. And use my name, you’ll get a better deal. I’m so sorry, I swear if I had known.” She shot her husband a death glare. “I would’ve never asked you to meet me and listen to this fool.” She gave him a withering look. “And I would have never taken Daniel’s side. Let the bastard suffer, he made his bed.” Ben stared at her open-mouthed and appalled.
“It wasn’t all his fault, he thought he was the reason she was leaving. He thought that when she saw him half-turned, kicking my ass for being such an idiot, he terrified her. And she was running away from that, from what he is. He let his wolf take over because he was destroyed Maria. He was broken, in a way I can’t even begin to explain. He was destroyed, he thought it was him. He had no idea it was because of what I said until after. And his wolf heard her talking to some guy and... you know how crazy males get over their mates, especially before they're marked. He’s not an ass. He was in pain, and he lashed out. It's my fault, I’m the bad guy here.” Ben said, unable to look his wife, or me in the face. Maria’s whole body sagged; like the anger she had felt dissipated when she realised what he meant.
“Oh.” Was all she could say.
“I don’t understand, what are you talking about?” I asked completely confused. Ben took a deep breath finally looking at me, a broken man.
“He thought that when you saw him, his hand around my throat. That he scared you so much, you were running away from him. From his wolf, and it was his worst fear coming true. The moment he saw you, realised you were human. He was terrified that you wouldn’t be able to accept him, and then you pulled away after you saw him lose it! What else was he going to think other than, it was his fault? He couldn’t take it, the guilt, the blame, the heartache. So, he gave up control, just for a moment, but his wolf heard you and lost it. We can’t control it, its biology, until our mate bears our mark, we can’t bear having any other males near them. It’s stupid and possessive and instinctive, we can’t control it, we can barely control ourselves. He didn’t even want me around you, or have you forgotten how he reacted when I came into the office yesterday?” He asked me, honestly, I kinda had, it felt like it had been days since that meeting, so much had happened in such a short time.
“Yes, I remember.” That was all I could say. I had no idea he had blamed himself for me leaving.
“Look, it’s not a secret that Daniel was a man whore once upon a time, but ever since he met you, he has changed,” Maria said as her eyes gazed at me sympathetically. “He hasn’t had a one-night stand in months, and I don’t think he’s even looked at another woman since the dreams started?” She asked her husband the last part. I felt a little guilty, he really had been waiting for me, but I had been dating and flirting. I felt like a bitch. He did have a good reason to be upset, but that didn’t mean he could call me a slut and get away with it, either. I bit my lip, unsure of what I felt.
“He hasn’t, he told me he didn’t see the point anymore. He would look at a woman and just see how she paled in comparison to you. It just made him miss you more, he hasn’t even flirted with anyone. He felt like it would be cheating if he did. He may be a bit of a player, but he’s never been a cheat.” They were wearing me down and I hated that, I had kissed Elaina even though I had feelings for him. Maybe I was in the wrong. I felt more confused than ever. Maria leaned across the table and gripped my hand, it was a small comfort, and the support I needed.
“I won’t ask you to forgive him, I could never ask you for that after what he said. I will ask you, to think about what you will be giving up. Having a mate is a rare and special thing, it’s like finding the other half of yourself. Are you ready to give up possibly the best relationship you could ever have?” She asked, her hand still holding mine, nothing but kindness in her eyes.
I left Ben and Maria in the coffee shop after a little over an hour and a second coffee to take with me. I had a list as long as my arm to sort through, including dealing with my contract and sending my bonus back to Appletree. I decided to put it off and focus on Mrs Shapiro’s funeral. I walked back to my building, making notes on my phone, enjoying the last of the clear days before the weather turned. I didn’t notice the car parked outside my building as I climbed the steps. It wasn’t until I reached my door, I realised what I had missed. Sitting on the floor outside my apartment was Daniel, my portfolio in one hand, a massive bouquet of roses in the other and he was asleep. It was almost cute, almost. I was still pissed off however, I thought about kicking him and telling him to move. Instead, I snatched my portfolio out of his hands, he jerked awake, his eyes blurry and unfocused.
“You’re here?” He mumbled. “Where have you been?” I scoffed and thought again about kicking him.
“Where I go, and what I do, has nothing to do with you. And if I want to sleep with everyone in the state, that is my business, not yours, so get up and get out of my way. I have a funeral to plan.” I snapped at him. Getting angrier by the second.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He groaned, standing up but still blocking my door. “I just meant, I’ve been here since nine, and I was worried when you didn’t answer the door. I wasn’t accusing you of anything. I just wanted to drop off your portfolio and beg you to give me another chance. Please? I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t cope. Please I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you for the colossally stupid things I said when I was angry, please?” He tried handing me the flowers, I took them, reluctantly, still angry with him.
“What do you want from me?” I asked, pissed off and frustrated that he would just turn up at my door.
“I want you, all of you. Your anger, your hatred, your happiness, your sadness. I want it all, I want you forever! I’m so sorry for what I said.” He pulled a little velvet box out of his pocket and dropped down on one knee. “Marry me, please?” I was too shocked to move.
“What are you, crazy?” I shrieked. “We barely know each other! I can’t marry you. I don’t know anything about you! You don’t know anything about me! You’re insane. This is insane!” I screamed, hysterical and bewildered.
“I know you! I know who you are, you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met. I know that you love coffee, and you drink soya lattes even though you like milk because even though there’s only a handful of calories difference you tell yourself you can have more but you tell people you do it because it’s better for the environment. I know that you run when you’re anxious or upset because when you were in high school you ran track and when you were doing your SATs, sometimes it was the only time your brain would stop running prep questions. I know that you love Ingrid Michaelson, but sometimes her music makes you cry. I know you are ticklish, and kind, and so much smarter than me and it doesn’t intimate me. I know that you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. I know that you want to make the world a better place and I know that you love me. As much as I love you. So, marry me!”
“It’s not enough, we don’t know enough about each other to get married. I can’t marry you. It’s too soon.” I rambled confused, and he smelled so good. He stood up, still clutching the box and moved closer to me. “I don’t know if I can trust you. How do I know you won’t hurt me again?” I whispered, he was so close to me, I could feel the heat of his body. He opened the box, there was a beautiful diamond ring inside, a solitaire cut, it must have been a carat at least, with a thin platinum band.
“I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you again, I probably will, I’m stupid and thoughtless and I let my anger get the better of me sometimes. But I will love you with everything I have, every day of the rest of our lives, so please marry me?” I paused, choked up and confused, mesmerised by his beautiful brown eyes and his addictively wonderful scent.
“It’s been one day. I can’t marry someone I’ve only known for a day.” I breathed; his lips dangerously close to mine.
“It’s been four months, one week and three days since I saw you in our meadow. And I would’ve married you then, in your white nightie if I could have.” He purred, before capturing my lips with his.
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