Chapter 35
“How do you know what Ben and Maria are like? How do you even know about Maria?” He asked me confused.
“I met them for coffee this morning. Well, I thought I was meeting Maria, she pulled a fast one and brought Ben. He wanted to apologise for what he said.” I explained. He growled aggressively when I mentioned Ben’s name. I slapped his chest playfully. “Stop it, he’s your brother. He’s married, and he has no interest in me whatsoever. Enough.”
“If he had been anyone else, any other pack member, he would have been stripped of his rank, banished or killed. You don’t insult the Alpha’s mate or anyone’s mate, and if you jeopardise a mate bond! That’s one of the worst offences a wolf can commit. If I couldn’t fix us and the pack found out, they would’ve never followed him after that. He’s lucky he’s my brother or I would’ve killed him there and then.” He pulled me back to his chest and inhaled my scent to calm him, he was almost vibrating with anger.
“That’s the worst offence? Not murder, or rape or spousal abuse or child abuse?” I asked, incredulously.
“One. One of the worst. Wolves fight, sometimes it goes too far, and someone gets hurt, the circumstances matter. Rape is forbidden, it’s rare, but when it does happen it means death for the perpetrator. And spousal abuse is dealt with by the Luna, it’s her choice what happens to the wolf, but again, it’s rare, the mate bond makes us cherish our partners, same with child abuse. It doesn’t happen often but it’s up to the Luna how it’s dealt with. I only remember one time when my father was Alpha, my mother banished the father. His mate had died in childbirth, and he took it out on the girl, she was given to the mother’s sister, I think. Some people thought it was too harsh, he was destroyed by the loss of his mate, while others thought death would be a kinder option. My mother said, she had left him with a choice, kill himself or find a second chance mate. She felt taking the life of a wolf with a chance of getting better would be going against the moon goddess.” I thought about his words carefully, maybe their society was better than humans in some ways, but I also thought it could be barbaric in other ways too.
“Who’s the moon goddess?” I asked. “I know you believe she makes your mates but what’s her name? What else has she done?”
“She doesn’t have a name, or we don’t remember it anymore, if we ever knew it. The story goes that she created the first Lycans, a male and a female. They were her loyal followers, they protected her when she came down from heaven, she had blessed them with a longer life than either a wolf or a human and after many years of faithful service, she gave them both another gift. The ability to shift from their wolf forms into human ones, at first, they could only shift to human during the day, until the moon goddess gifted them a child. To bring the child to term, the female had to remain human, her male stayed in wolf form to protect her. The child was born healthy and happy and human. The Goddess told them he would receive the gift of his wolf in his sixteenth year and would be able to shift at will. When he matured, after his eighteenth year he would find his mate, the one woman in all the world the goddess had created for him. And their children would be the beginning of a great race.” He looked at me to gauge my reaction, it didn’t sound any stranger than any other religion to me, improbable maybe but who was I to judge?
“Okay, what’s the rank thing about?” I wanted to understand as much as possible if I was going to live in his world. As crazy as it may be.
“Well, mine is Alpha, I’m at the top, as the leader of the pack. Ben,” he said through gritted teeth, “is my Beta, my second in command. He would take over the pack if something happens to me, or I don’t produce an heir. There are many different ranks, most are just terms of respect now, but when they first began it was similar to that of a wild wolf pack.” I hesitated, unsure of what that could mean.
“It... it’s not like a caste system, right?” I asked praying I was wrong.
“Once upon a time maybe, today it’s more to describe your job or skills, what you offer the pack. It isn’t a bad thing to be an Omega for instance, but if you are an Omega, you could never become lead warrior, or a General, or an Elder. But it’s not a bad thing. It’s just what you are.”
“So, the lead warrior and the elders are like your nobles? Because it’s easy for the Alpha to say rank doesn’t mean anything, I wonder how the Omegas? Feel about it though.” He shifted uncomfortably; he had clearly never thought about it like that before. I felt a little bad upsetting him, but I wasn’t going to keep all my thoughts to myself either.
“I wouldn’t say nobles or anything, the Elders are advisors to the Alpha. So, they’re respected, but they’ve earned their place. Most were former warriors, some held other higher positions, they’ve seen more than one Alpha rule, so they have the knowledge to pass down.” He explained I knew he thought his reasoning was sound, but I wasn’t convinced.
“Why don’t the elder Omegas have knowledge to pass down, advice for the Alphas?” I asked, seeing the gaping hole in his logic.
“Because they were never fighters, their lives are about service to their Alpha and pack, not leading. They were never around the former Alphas enough during conflicts to see where they went wrong. It’s just like anything else, those best suited for the position get it, it’s really not a big deal.” He shrugged it off. I wasn’t convinced but I didn’t want to start an argument over something I didn’t know enough about. “Do you have any more questions? Or are you ready to answer mine yet?”
“I have a million questions, and I’m not sure about getting engaged. It just seems too soon; can’t we date for a little bit? Get to know each other better? Why does it have to be all in right now?” I asked biting my lip, worried that we would mess things up if we went too fast.
“Because we were made for each other. The mate bond is more than science can fully explain, we know it’s the best chance for a stronger generation, but that doesn’t explain why divorce is virtually unheard of. Spousal abuse is far rarer than in the human world, we can’t cheat on our mates, and most don’t have the inclination to. Chosen mates have a much higher rate of failed relationships, once a wolf is mated it is for life almost all of the time. And from the moment I saw you, no other woman existed to me, so let’s just jump in, together, and do this, be with each other. Please? I love you, you love me, what else do we need to know?”
“I don’t know if I want kids... my father left when I was a baby, and my mother struggled all my life to pay for everything. I never want to be put in that position, so I don’t know if I will ever be ready to have kids, or rule? I mean that’s not something I have ever had to worry about before. How do I know I will be any good at it? How do you know I’ll be any good at it? Your pack doesn’t know about me, that’s why Ben was so pissed right? And if you and he have concerns about me being accepted, shouldn’t we deal with that before we agree to get married? What are you going to do if they don’t want me as their Luna? Do it anyway? So, then I’m the one who has to live with people who hate me? It’s not as simple as just loving each other and it’s naive to think otherwise.” I was getting overwhelmed and upset, tears were pricking at my eyes.
“If the pack doesn’t accept you, I would step down and hand it over to my brother. There is no ruling without you. Alphas don’t last long without their Luna’s, nearly all have killed themselves from the pain of the loss. Granted, those Lunas were killed to weaken the pack, but without you, I’d be lucky to keep my sanity, I would be in no state to rule, so, Ben would have to take over the pack. But I would leave, happily, if it meant I could stay with you.” He smiled and rubbed my cheek gently. “I rule with you, or not at all. I’ve known this since I first saw you.” I tried to smile back, but my stomach was in knots, the fear that he could leave his pack and resent me for that decision burrowed its way deep into my psyche.
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