BK 2 - Chapter 45 - Breaking Point
Everyone in the house woke up to Kitty's screams. Cat ran into the spare bedroom and saw Aiden trying to comfort a frantic Kitty. She sat on the bed and attempted to wrap her arms around the shaking young woman so she could use her abilities to calm her. However, she fought, and Cat was worried she would harm the cub in her belly.
"What's wrong with her? Did she have a dream?" Cat looked toward him as he tried to hold Kitty.
"I don't know. She had a hard time going to sleep last night. She said she couldn't get the images of Ricky and Vasco being killed out of her mind." Kitty was slowly starting to calm down, and Aiden kept holding her tight. Harley and Zola were both purring, trying to do their parts.
"Kitty, it's Cat. Can you hear me?" She tried to lay her hand on Kitty's shoulder, but she started screaming as soon as Cat touched her.
"What can we do to help her?" Aiden was worried that something in Kitty had snapped, and he didn't want to lose the fun-loving woman he had fallen in love with.
"I'm going to call Valerie to see if she can come here. Maybe she can recommend something to help her." Cat ran across the hall to her and Trey's bedroom.
"What's going on?" Trey asked worriedly when he saw his mate running.
"I have to call Valerie. Something's wrong with Kitty, and we can't get through to her. Aiden said she was affected by seeing the lions kill Ricky and Vasco yesterday." Cat grabbed her phone and quickly called Valerie.
"Hello?" Valerie answered sleepily.
"Valerie, it's Cat. Can you come to the pool house? Something's wrong with Kitty, and we need your professional help."
"I'm on my way." Valerie hung up and told Roger she had to go to the pool house. He jumped up to go with her. After they threw their clothes on, they ran to the small house that was all lit up in the early morning. Cat was at the door waiting for them. They could hear Kitty wailing upstairs.
"What happened?" Valerie asked. Cat quickly explained what had occurred with Rocky and Vasco. She then told them what Aiden said about Kitty, unable to forget their faces.
"Let me go up and see her. Do you think Aiden will leave? You're all connected with what happened yesterday, so I think it's better if I talk to her alone." Cat nodded and went upstairs with her while Trey and Roger sat at the kitchen table. When they got to the bedroom, Kitty was crying and still fighting a heartbroken Aiden.
"Aiden, I need you to come out with me so Valerie can talk to Kitty." As much as he didn't want to leave her in this state, he knew he had to trust Valerie. It hurt him that he couldn't help his mate. He reluctantly let her go, and she lay on the bed curled in a ball, crying.
After Aiden and Cat walked out, Valerie shut the door. She sat on the edge of the bed next to Kitty.
"Kitty, it's Valerie. Cat told me what happened yesterday, and I understand you may be having trouble with what you saw."
Kitty felt like she was drowning in terror. Every time someone touched her, she felt it was those men coming back for her because she watched them die. She couldn't focus on people's words or what they were doing.
After falling asleep not long ago, she dreamt of them being killed. She kept seeing their faces. Only their faces weren't Ricky and Vasco's. They changed into her family. Sometimes it was Sandie and Max or Gracie and Wesley. Other times it was Aiden, Cat, or Trey.
The faces kept asking her why she let them die. The worst part was the eyes. The eyes were empty black holes as though their souls were gone, and all that was left was emptiness. Kitty was scared of losing everyone she had come to love, whom she now called family. If she could allow another life to be taken so easily, did that make her a monster?
All those years of abuse, being passed from one home to another, and feeling unloved and unwanted were starting to get to her. Kitty couldn't take everything that had happened in such a short time. Her mind and body were at their breaking point.
"Kitty, can you hear me?" Valerie spoke softly. Her heart ached for the young woman curled in a ball, shaking. She was staring at the wall, but her eyes appeared as though they weren't looking directly at anything.
"Yes, I can hear you," Kitty answered in a weak voice so quiet that Valerie wouldn't have heard her if she wasn't next to her.
"Do you feel like talking?" Kitty's heart was racing. She knew Valerie was trying to help her. However, it was hard for her to explain what she was feeling.
"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" Kitty asked her softly.
"Life, in general, is complicated. What specifically are you talking about, dear?" Valerie moved, so she was sitting with her back against the headboard.
"A year ago, I pickpocketed the wrong person. In that year, I was hunted down by the Italian Mafia and met and fell in love with a werelion who is my mate. I have made amazing friends, found my birth mother, and now have a family. Everything felt like it was coming together after years of abuse, pain, and neglect. When I saw Harley, Saira, and Atlas killing those two men yesterday, something in me changed."
"What changed? Are you concerned that you no longer love Aiden after seeing the lions? Did it remind you of something from your past?" Valerie was trying to get a read on her. She had always kept her genuine emotions hidden. Valerie knew they would eventually have to come out.
"I love Aiden. Nothing will change that. I wasn't scared of the lions or what they were capable of. Their actions brought back a memory from my childhood. When I was eight, I was living with a family that was extremely abusive to those of us who were foster kids. One day they were hitting a girl that was younger than me. I begged them to stop, but they didn't. They killed her and left her lying on the floor. Her eyes were open when I went over to check on her, but they had no life in them. Her eyes haunted me for a long time. Watching what the lions did to those men yesterday brought back that memory. All I could see was the little girl's dead eyes looking at me, asking why I didn't save her." Kitty spoke flatly with no emotion.
"You were a child, and there was nothing you could have done to save her. The fact that you tried to step in to stop them when you were only eight shows how brave you were. You see accusations in her eyes because of your own guilt. If you had done anything more, you could have also ended up being killed. You have so much life to live and love to give that I can't imagine you not being in this world to share your amazing light."
Kitty's tears started falling at what Valerie had said. She knew that she was right. Most likely, she would have died that night if she had tried to stop them again. However, that didn't take away the guilt she had of watching the girl die. Kitty took a deep breath before rolling over in the bed to look at Valerie. She had to see her face when she said the next part. It would tell her if she could heal from this pain in her chest.
"Do you believe in karma?"
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I also think that we control our own destinies. The choices we make affect everything that happens from that point on." Valerie looked down at Kitty, who was staring up at her.
"So if I made a choice as a child, it could affect the rest of my life?" Kitty asked slowly. Valerie chose her words carefully. She could tell that Kitty was leading to something.
"As a child, many things are taken out of our hands. The adults in our lives make the choices for us." Kitty bit her lip thinking about that. She looked up into Valerie's eyes. She wanted to see if that compassion changed once she told her what she'd done.
"What if I told you I was the one that caused the girl to get beaten to death."
