Chapter 8 - Panic Attack

A bright light was shining on Cat's face, and she was hot from something heavy. She didn't want to open her eyes because she was afraid the light would blind her, so she kept them shut. It took her a few minutes to get her perspective. As she became fully awake, everything that happened early that morning came rushing back, causing her eyes to fly open.

The light was from the hotel window, where the curtains were slightly parted, and the afternoon sunlight was shining on her face making her squint. Cat couldn't figure out why she was so hot until she looked over and saw Trey still in bed and almost entirely on top of her.

He was lying with his head slightly on her shoulder. One of his arms was over her abdomen, and one of his legs was thrown over both hers. She immediately broke out into a cold sweat.

Cat felt the panic rising in her throat, she was gasping for air, and her heart was racing. She took a few deep breaths to calm down. She knew Trey wouldn't hurt her. He was sleeping and didn't realize what he was doing.

Once she felt a little calmer, she tried to decide what to do. Cat knew if she moved, it would wake him up, and she didn't know who would be more embarrassed. She thought maybe if she moved a little, it would make him turn over so she could slip out of bed.

Cat slid slightly away from him, and instead of making him move away, he pulled her closer. She didn't know what to do without waking him. She wasn't totally uncomfortable, most likely because he was unconscious.

She realized her entire body seemed alive in a way she'd never felt. Trey was so warm against her skin that it was soothing and not painful. That concerned her more than anything. Why did she feel like static electricity was running through her body from his touch?

Cat had never slept with anyone because she didn't allow people to get close enough to touch her. Yet here she was in bed with Trey, he was lying practically on top of her, and she wasn't feeling the burning, searing pain she was used to.

She wanted to stay where she was but knew she had to get up. She pushed Trey slightly on the shoulder, and he clenched his eyes shut tightly while pulling her closer so she couldn't move.

Cat felt like she was being held down. She knew she had to get away before she started crying or stopped breathing. She pushed on Trey desperately as the panic began to choke her, and her eyes filled with tears. She was gulping for air and couldn't get any words out.

Trey slowly started to respond, and when his eyes opened, she could see he was confused at first. He quickly unwrapped himself from her, but it was too late. She was already in the midst of a full-blown panic attack.

"I'm so sorry." He said, seeing the terror on her face. As Trey looked at her with wide eyes. Cat jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, quickly locking the door.

She slid onto the floor next to the bathtub as the tears continued falling. Cat tried to hold in the sobs so Trey wouldn't hear, but they overtook her, and she couldn't stop.

She was shaking so badly with fear that her teeth were chattering. She heard him knock on the door, but she couldn't respond. She didn't think it was the right time to explain why she was acting this way.

"Can I come in?" Trey sounded worried.

Hearing his concern caused Cat to sob louder. She couldn't let him see her like this. Obviously, the lock didn't work because she heard the door open, and Trey came in to sit on the side of the bathtub. She wanted to tell him to get out and leave her alone, but she was still unable to talk.

"I'm really sorry. I promise I didn't take advantage of you while you were sleeping. You woke up a few hours ago screaming and crying in your sleep. I tried to calm you down, so I held you to comfort you. I meant to let you go once you were calm, but I fell asleep. I'm sorry if I scared you."

Trey was talking to Cat like he was trying to calm a frightened child. She still left her face buried in her hands with her knees pulled up to her chin while crying. She was mad at herself for always overreacting.

Not only had he seen her break down, but he had also witnessed her nightmare. Cat didn't think the situation could get any worse. This was why she preferred being alone and not letting people get too close.

Now that he had seen her at her weakest, she hoped he wouldn't try to use it to break her down. Trey continued sitting on the side of the bathtub, not touching her and not saying anything. Oddly enough, Cat wasn't uneasy with him being so close to her during her meltdown. His presence was actually starting to calm her.

When the tears finally stopped, Cat felt foolish. She knew Trey didn't do anything intentionally, but she couldn't help the panic that came when it felt like he was holding her down. She knew she owed him an explanation.

Cat risked looking up at Trey even though she was scared of what she would see in his eyes, but all she saw was worry. His hazel eyes were looking at her with so many emotions in them that she felt a pull that took her breath away. She had to look down before she was able to speak.

"I'm sorry about the nightmare and how I acted when I woke up. I know you didn't do anything to me. I just have a complicated past that pretty much affects everything in my life. I'm sorry I caused you any concern."

Cat's voice cracked from all the crying. She laid her head back on her raised knees as her pulse started returning to normal. Trey lightly touched her head, causing her to immediately stiffen up, but she didn't say anything.

He stroked her head very gently, and even though she was uncomfortable with the unfamiliar touch, it wasn't unpleasant. His hand on her head actually started to feel incredibly good. She felt her whole body calming down even more from this simple gesture.

"Stop apologizing. You wouldn't have had this reaction if I wasn't on top of you." Trey sounded so concerned about her that she felt her heart flutter. No one had ever shown her they cared besides her mother many years ago. She let him continue stroking her hair for a few more minutes before she decided she needed to stop it so he wouldn't think she was letting her guard down.

Cat started to get up off the floor, and Trey grabbed her hands to help. She stumbled from the feel of his hands on hers, causing her to fall into him. He put his arms around her to steady her, and she immediately felt the panic coming back.

Trey looked down at her with concern as he let her go, and she figured he probably thought she was a freak. Cat wanted to be alone so she didn't have to deal with all the emotions he was causing.

"I need to use the restroom." She said quietly while looking away. Trey stroked her head once more before walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. Cat stood there for a minute, looking at the door. Why did she miss him when he left?

Her backpack was still in the bathroom, so she took out the jeans and t-shirt she had in it to get dressed while thinking about everything that had happened the last few hours. She looked at her watch and realized it was after three in the afternoon. Cat couldn't remember when she had slept for more than a few hours or felt so rested.

As she braided her hair, she decided it would be best to go out to get them some essentials and something to eat. Cat hoped Trey didn't think she was trying to run away because she needed to be alone for a while.

After what had happened this afternoon, she needed to regain some composure and work on repairing the wall around her. That wall was the only thing that had kept her going all these years, and Trey had already started putting some cracks in it.

Cat thought about how good it felt when he stroked her head to calm her. She had never had someone touch her like that, and just thinking about it caused strange new feelings in her making her want to feel that way again.

When she came out of the bathroom, Trey was sitting on the end of the bed, still only dressed in his t-shirt and boxer briefs. He was looking at the TV, so she had a minute to study him. She again noticed how handsome he was, and even though she knew he was twenty-eight, he looked much younger.

Trey turned to look at her, and she felt the color rise in her cheeks as she got caught staring at him. Cat saw his mouth twitch when he looked back toward the TV. The sound of their names caught her attention. There was a picture of her on the screen. It was the picture from her hospital ID badge.

Cat felt dread wash over her. She looked absolutely hideous in that picture. Not that it would matter anyway, she thought, because no one could describe her as attractive even on her best day.

The reporter said that Cat was a nurse in a Sacramento area hospital and was last seen around three that morning. The last person she was seen with was a patient named Trey Galloway, whose whereabouts were also unknown. The Sacramento police are not confirming or denying if this is being looked at as a possible abduction.

"Why did you go to such extremes to take me from the hospital? Wouldn't it have been better to take me from my home? This has everyone looking for us like I was kidnapped." It all seemed a little much to Cat.

"With Jack Davis getting admitted, I didn't think we had much time. My sergeant will come up with an explanation, so we won't be on the news much longer."

"Why don't they know that you're a detective?" Cat looked at him speculatively with her arms crossed.

What if he was helping Leo, and this was a plan to get her alone to hand her over to him. Cat felt her flight or fight response kick in. She was thinking about grabbing her keys and running out of the hotel.

"I'm an undercover detective, so the media and the hospital didn't need to know." Trey watched her expression and could tell she was thinking about running.

"Is this the usual type of assignment you have as an undercover detective? I thought it was more infiltration, not protection." Cat was still not entirely convinced.

"I was between assignments, and due to my history of working undercover in sex trafficking, they thought I would be a good fit." Cat continued looking into his eyes, and her doubt completely dissipated. Suddenly she heard someone talking about her on the TV, and she started to listen again.

"Caterina and I were close. We dated for a few months, and now we're good friends. Please help us find her." Cat couldn't believe her ears. She was fuming when she heard Alex's lies.

"It looks like your boyfriend is worried about you." Trey held back his laugh when he saw Cat getting irate.

"He has never been my boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend, and I have no friends. I'm a complete loner because it's safer that way. Why would he say that?" Cat was furious.

"What do you mean you've never had a boyfriend and have no friends? You're only twenty-four. This should be the prime of your life." Cat hadn't realized she said those things out loud but decided to be honest with him. After watching her for a few weeks, she was sure his team had already seen she had no life.

"With my history, it had always been better to not let anyone get close. I can't stand to be touched as you've witnessed. I have no friends because I can't trust anyone. These few hours I've spent with you are the most I have ever spent alone with anyone."

Cat turned away, looking for her backpack before she could say any more. She reminded herself that she had to be careful. She could already feel herself getting too comfortable with him.

"I'm going to run to the store to pick up a few things and get us something to eat. You said you don't have any clothes with you, and besides these, neither do I."

Cat looked at herself in the mirror, thinking she should be pretty unrecognizable. She didn't believe that there was anything extraordinary about her looks that would make anyone take a second glance.

When she turned around, Trey stared at her with a very intense look. She suddenly felt self-conscious and looked down, thinking she had forgotten something. Everything was in place, nothing showing that shouldn't be.

"I wish we had met under other circumstances. You're the strongest, most beautiful woman I have ever met."

Cat looked at him in surprise, knowing she couldn't be described as beautiful, not even pretty. She was speechless for a minute. No one had ever said anything like that to her. She was broken beyond repair, and the sooner he realized that the better it would be for both of them.

"Life has made me the way I am. I learned long ago not to depend on anyone, never trust anyone, and always be prepared for the unknown, or I would get hurt." Cat was looking down to hide the pain from the past that she was sure he would be able to see in her eyes. "Unfortunately, even if we had met under other circumstances, it wouldn't have made a difference. I am destined for a life of solitude. I can't be anything to anyone ever. It's too painful to open myself up like that."

Cat knew she had to get out of there before she started blubbering like an idiot. She grabbed her car keys and some cash as she headed out the door before he could stop her. She practically ran to the car and sat there for a minute. She punched the steering wheel a few times with her fist, angry that she had let her guard down.