BK 4 - Chapter 23 - The Funeral
Lisa stared at herself in the mirror. She was in a black dress and heels. She didn't typically wear dresses, but Grandpa Roger was special. All morning she kept going over his last words to her and Alex. She then re-read his letter. Being in the pool house gave her conflicting feelings. She felt close to him, while at the same time, she felt empty inside.
The last few days, she had been able to pretend he was just away, but this was final. Lisa let out a small sob as she thought about never seeing him again, never hearing him on the phone with his deep laugh that instantly put a smile on her face. It finally hit her that he wasn't coming back. She almost fell to her knees, but Jayce caught and held her as she cried.
"How can I say goodbye? I don't want him to be gone. I want to run into his office and sit and talk for hours like we used to. I want to tell him about everything I'm doing and have him give me advice on staying out of trouble. I want him to see our cubs grow up because no one got more excited about cubs than Grandpa Roger. He can't be gone," Jayce sat on the side of the bed with Lisa across his lap as she cried on his shoulder.
"I know, sweetheart. I'm not going to pretend to know what you're going through. I was only three when I lost my parents, so I can't relate in the same way. Your grandfather has been a huge part of your life, and no one expects you to cope with it quickly. I just want you to know I'm here, and I'll be whatever you need me to be today and every day after," Jayce kissed her forehead.
"My grandpa would have liked you. I know you met him briefly, but he was one of the strongest men I have ever known. I've never lost anyone before. I can't imagine what Grandma Valerie is going through right now." Lisa laid her head back on his shoulder. Thinking about the others in the family was better than focusing on the loss. She knew she would be a wreck later but needed to be strong for them right now.
"Lisa, are you ready?" Alex yelled from downstairs. If she were in the mood, she would give him a hard time for rushing her, but even that seemed like too much energy.
"We're coming," She answered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Jayce stood up and kissed her softly before putting her on her feet. Alex's eyes were red and puffy like hers when they got downstairs. Lisa had to look away, or she knew she'd break down again.
They piled into Alex's SUV and headed to the funeral home. Roger and Valerie weren't religious, but arrangements had been made for a friend who was a pastor to do the service. When they pulled into the parking lot, a special area was roped off for the immediate family to park, who wouldn't be riding in one of the limos. Alex pulled into that area and parked.
They were early so they could spend time alone with the family before everyone else came. A lot of people were expected to go and pay their respects. Roger significantly impacted the community through his work with the group homes and his years on the police force. As Lisa and Alex walked through the door, tears began running down their faces.
Valerie, Cat, and Trey were standing by the open casket. They could hear their two grandmothers sobbing as they held each other. Trey had his arms wrapped around them both as he cried. There were others scattered around, but Lisa and Alex were focused on the three next to the casket. When they approached, they could barely see through their tears. Jayce and Kiersten held their hands in support but didn't say anything.
"Oh, kids come here," Valerie said as she wrapped her arms around Alex and Lisa.
Neither could hold back their sobs any longer as they hugged their grandma. The other family members joined them and had one big family hug. No one had a dry eye as they cried for the man who would never again make them laugh other than with the memories they had of him. Jayce and Kiersten cried with them, not immune to the emotions of their mates or the rest of the family. It was a hard day for them all.
When they separated from the hug, Lisa and Alex took the last few steps to the casket. It was the longest steps of their lives as they tried to delay the inevitable. When they looked inside, Lisa let out a loud cry of pain that cut through the hearts of everyone there. Alex's cry was just as loud when he noticed what she saw.
The first time they stayed with Roger and Valerie, they had been unsure about them. They were cautious and distrustful of adults other than Melanie and Saxon because of their past. Roger had seen their reactions and went out of his way to make them comfortable. He had played games, watched movies, and read to them. They'd had so much fun that they forgot about their fear.
Inside the casket was the book that had been their favorite; Where The Wild Things Are. Roger had told them no matter what was going on in the world or how upset they became, all they had to do was close their eyes, and they could be wherever they wanted. Lisa and Alex had held on to those words. No matter where they were, if they needed to get away, they closed their eyes and created their own world.
"Roger was adamant that he be buried with the book that bonded you to him. Whenever he saw that book, he thought of you kids and how far you've come. He loved you both so much," Valerie said as she hugged them again.
Lisa couldn't focus on her grandpa's face. It was too hard. He looked peaceful like he was sleeping, but knowing he would never open his eyes again made her heart feel like a knife was piercing through it. They made their way over to the pews and sat down. She put her head on Jayce's shoulder as she continued crying. Her mom sat on her other side and took her hand.
There were more sounds of crying as the funeral parlor began to fill with people paying their respects. Once it was time for the service, the place was packed full with standing room only in the back.
Cat did everything she could to comfort Valerie while her own heart was tearing in two. Trey was the first man she had ever loved, but Roger was the second. He was the father she never had, and losing him felt like she was losing a piece of herself. No amount of preparation could ever prepare her heart for this incredible loss.
Valerie stared at the pastor as he spoke, but his words could not break through her grief. As strong as she tried to be, she felt like a piece of herself had died when Roger took his last breath. The only thing keeping her going was the love of their family. She knew Roger would want her to spoil the grandchildren and shower them with the love he wouldn't be there to give them. It was easier said than done when every time she looked at them, all she could think about was what he was missing. How could she go on without him?
When the pastor finished his part, he asked if anyone wanted to say anything. Several former police officers who had worked for Roger said a few words. A few others who had been touched by the kindness of Roger sang his praises. When Lisa stood up, she pulled Jayce with her and went to the front. She hadn't planned on saying anything, but at the last minute, she had to.
"To many of you, Roger was a man of honor, integrity, and strength. He was all that and more to me and those in our family. He was the man who brought us all together no matter where we were. He was the man who would see a person in need and not pass by until he helped them. He was the man that could put a smile on even the angriest person's face. Most of all, he was the grandfather that loved his grandchildren so much he would do anything to make their lives better. To me and my brother, he was the light in a world that had always been uncertain. Grandpa Roger showed us it was okay to be afraid and cry. He was the man we could run to no matter what we needed, and he'd be there. I loved him so much that my heart has a hole that will never fully heal."
Jayce helped Lisa back to their seats as she began crying so hard she could no longer speak. Everyone in the funeral home was crying at her heartfelt words. No one else spoke after Lisa.
The casket was closed, and the pallbearers carried it out to the awaiting hearse. Once everyone was in the cars, they began the procession to the graveyard less than a mile away.
The gravesite that Valerie and Roger had picked out years ago was under a large tree that would offer shade from the California sun. They had bought two sites next to each other so they would be together forever.
Everyone gathered around as the pastor said a few words before the casket was lowered into the ground. White and red roses were thrown on top to symbolize Roger's pure heart and love for his family.
Everyone left except those in the family. No one wanted to go because it was all too final. However, what they didn't expect was a voice that none of them recognized. They all turned around when they heard what the person said.
"Mate."
