Chapter 11 - His Warmth
After getting the laptop set up, Cat and Trey checked to see if there were any emails from his team. There was one from Sergeant Brooks sent a couple of hours ago.
*Status check on subject and location. Not happy that you forced our hand. L.E. still not located. Increased chatter due to subject's disappearance. Will location be okay for long term?*
Cat glanced at Trey. What did he mean, days, weeks, or months? She didn't know if she was comfortable being alone with him for too long. She watched over his shoulder while he typed a response.
*Subject is fine, no problems. I thought it was necessary for safety. Promising about the chatter. The location is good for as long as needed.*
"What does he mean when he says long-term? I thought we would only be here for a few days or maybe a week." Cat could hear her voice getting high-pitched as her nervousness reached new heights.
"It depends on how long it takes for them to locate Leo. It could be a few weeks or even months. Do you have a problem staying alone with me for that long?" He was smirking, and she knew it was from how she behaved in the car and how she was acting now.
"No, not at all. We can stay here for as long as we need to. You may be the one running away if my nightmares keep you up at night. I have them almost every time I sleep. Although I don't remember having one when we slept this morning, you must have stopped it before it could wake me."
Cat looked away in confusion. Usually, her nightmares were so bad she couldn't go back to sleep. She would curl up in a ball, crying and shaking until she calmed down. Why did having Trey hold her during the nightmare keep her from waking up in fear?
"I will do my best to keep the nightmares away every night we're together. It would be easier if you let me hold you when we're in bed, though. You seemed very comfortable this morning." She glared at him as he teased her.
"Don't get any ideas. I can't be held responsible for my actions when I'm asleep. It wouldn't be my fault if I were to start beating you up in the middle of the night."
"I think I could stop you. After all, you're so tiny I can just about fit you in my pocket." Cat scuffed at him as he stood up. It made her mad when people commented about how small she was like she couldn't defend herself.
"I may be short, but never mistake that for weakness." Cat was standing right in front of him with her hands on her hips, looking up into his eyes. With Trey being over a foot taller than she was, it did make her feel rather small, but she refused to back down.
As they stared at each other, Cat was suddenly aware of the heat coming from Trey's body. It was making her head a little fuzzy. She could tell he felt it, too, when the look in his eyes changed and they got darker. Cat felt like she was being pulled to him physically, and before she knew it, she was reaching her hand out to touch him. She quickly put her hand down and stepped away, breaking the connection.
"It's getting late. I think we should try to get on a regular sleep schedule. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."
Cat kept her head down as she headed for the bathroom, grabbing her backpack as she went. She let the hot water soothe her tense body when she got into the shower.
She couldn't believe she had almost touched Trey willingly, not in a nurse-to-patient way but in an adult attraction way. That had never happened to her, but at that moment, she had wanted to feel his warm skin. Her hand was tingling just at the thought of touching him.
She knew she had to control herself so that didn't happen again. Cat started thinking that it might be better if she took off alone. Even as she was saying that to herself, she knew she wouldn't leave. Trey was making her feel alive, and she wanted to hold on to that for as long as possible. She also wanted to be kept up-to-date on the whereabouts of Leo.
It was after ten by the time Cat got out of the shower. She couldn't help thinking that at this time yesterday, she was at the hospital doing her rounds and living her everyday bleak life. Compared to now, where she was in a hotel with a man she hardly knew, who was making her have feelings that she didn't think she was capable of.
She had to continue to set boundaries and stay strong by keeping her distance as much as possible. She knew deep down that Trey wouldn't give her a second look if they weren't in this situation. She was uncomfortable with him saying she was beautiful when she was far from it.
Cat was sure he would want a shower, too, so she was going to make sure she was fast asleep before he got out to discourage any further talking. When she opened the bathroom door, walking out in her shorts and t-shirt, Trey was standing right in front of her.
"I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to run. I don't want to scare or overwhelm you, but I will try to help you if you let me."
Cat couldn't take all of the emotions he was causing in her. That was exactly what she had protected herself from for all these years. She felt her eyes stinging, and she refused to let herself cry in front of him again. She didn't want to give the impression that she was weak when it was just her emotions running haywire. Trey was making her feel things that she shouldn't, and as much as she didn't want to leave, she knew that may be the best thing to do to protect herself.
"If you want me to stay, I need you to not talk to me like that. I'm not used to anyone being around me or caring about my feelings. It's making me uncomfortable. When I get uncomfortable, I run away, and I don't want to do that yet. Please get your shower so we can get some sleep." Cat could see by the look on his face that he understood. He nodded at her before going into the bathroom.
She quickly lay in bed, hoping she would be asleep by the time Trey returned. Before she could stop herself, she was crying. Not loud sobs like earlier in the bathroom, but the tears were flowing steadily.
She was crying for a life she knew she would never be able to have. Cat had never given it a second thought, but being with Trey had made her want something more. She had been alone for so long that she didn't know what she was missing by not having another person to talk to.
Cat thought that if she were an average woman, she could have a relationship with a man and not panic at every touch. It confused her that Trey's touch didn't make her panic. Instead, it caused a burning heat inside her that scared her more than the pain she was used to.
She wanted so badly to feel the warmth of his skin, but that wasn't something she could allow. She had never had such a strong desire to touch another human being as she did with Trey, and she didn't know why she felt that way.
To her embarrassment, her tears were still streaming down her face when Trey came out of the bathroom. He didn't say anything when he saw her. He just turned the lights off before sliding into bed behind her.
Cat felt him turn over and assumed it was so his back was toward her, but suddenly she felt him move up against her until he was spooning her. He put his arm around her pulling her closer to him, and she felt heat spread all over her body.
She immediately stiffened up as she felt the panic building. Why was he doing this? Was he going to try to take advantage of her when she was at her weakest? While these questions were going through her mind, she wanted to jump up and run. Trey moved his arm and began stroking her hair. She felt herself slowly calm down as she focused on his hand on her head.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to comfort you. I saw you crying, and I don't ever want to be the cause of your tears. Please let me hold you while you sleep. Maybe I'll keep the nightmares away. I promise I won't touch you any more than this. I can feel how terrified you are right now. Take a few deep breaths. It will be okay."
Trey was talking so softly that Cat found herself focusing on his words and slowly relaxing. She had never had anyone hold her or even hug her in a long time. This was a new experience for her, but it felt nice.
The warmth of Trey's body against hers was comforting, and the soothing heat was warming her to the bone. It scared her that she was going to let him hold her all night because she didn't want to leave the warmth of his body. Although she doubted that the nightmares would stay away.
"Okay, but only tonight. I can't allow more than that." Her voice sounded shaky.
"Can I ask you a question?" His mouth was so close to her ear that she could feel his warm breath on her cheek.
"Yes." She answered breathlessly.
"Have you never been hugged or shown any love?" Cat felt her body begin to stiffen up again. Love is not something she can remember feeling since she lost her mother.
"No, not in almost twenty years. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." She swore she felt him kiss her head, but she was already starting to fall asleep.
