Camilla's POV
Camilla's POV
I wanted a love that would make all the hurt disappear but what I got was different. It took me several heart breaks later to realise I didn't get my wish, nothing about our love has been roses and light.
Most people get butterflies when they're in love, well, I never did get butterflies, I got several herds of elephants stomping on me until my air supply was limited. That was what I liked, it made me feel alive, it reminded me I wasn't dead. It felt nice, my brain blocked out every red flag, the biggest being his infatuation with his ex who he claimed never to have loved anywhere nearly as much as he did me.
My eyes caught him several times, discreetly watching her with a smile and sometimes, a frown. I told myself he was just seeing what he could have lost a wonderful woman like me to, yes, a wonderful woman because that's how he made me feel but even that was a farfetched lie.
When I left Adrian and Michelle, I ran, I didn't want them or anyone to see me crying as I did. At first, I wasn't running that fast because I hoped he would come after me. A fraction of me still wished he would stop me, hold me and tell me he was sorry and didn't mean anything he said to me because I didn't mean it when I said I hate him. However, I understood soon enough he wasn't coming for me, only then did I begin to run faster.
My feet ran as fast and far away from him as they could carry me. The thought of going back to Dark Moon didn't cross my mind, I couldn't– I can't face Ryan and watch him destroy Midnight Saints Pack. It goes without saying Ryan doesn't like Adrian and this, this would be the final stroll in the marathon. Ryan would ruin Midnight Saints and I don't think everyone deserves that, they don't have to pay for anything Adrian did to me.
I had made it out of Adrian's tertiary with sore feet, a sore throat and a pounding heart. I stopped at the river that joins Takishini and Erinest pack. No one was there, nobody showed up for a while except for a few passersby. I cried my eyes out for a while, cursing at Adrian for everything, screaming at myself because I love him but I hate him as I stared at my reflection.
Hours later, my gaze is glued on my reflection in the water as I sob silently, feeling used, unloved, detested, undeserving of living but then, I hear a familiar voice within an earshot, I know that voice.
Rising on my feet, my hands swipe at the tears on my face.
“Camilla,” it calls out once again, making my gaze roam hastily to find the person attached to the vocal cords that call my name out so lovingly. I'm spinning in search of her until I see her, Mirabelle. winging on the same rope as I did to get me to this side of the river after I contemplated drowning myself in the river if I was to swim over to this side. I couldn't trust myself not to do so, that's how I ended up swinging here. “Belle.” I whisper, half of me scared and the other relieved to see her. It slipped my mind that I didn't get to say goodbye to her, only now does it register.
“What are you doing here, how did you find me?”
“You're not hard to find, I admit it was hard but I found the bandages I had wrapped on you earlier and followed the scent of your blood. My nose is so overworked right now,” she giggles, inhaling sharply as her hand rubs at her almost crimson covered nose.“So, why did you leave?” she asks, watching me nervously.
“Well, for starters your brother threatened to kill me which I wish he would have gone through with but come to think of it, saying he wished I died four months ago was just as good as killing me.” I shrug, squatting on the ground once again. My hands cross on top of my legs, securing my head on them.
Mira belle sighs, her gaze roaming our surroundings before dropping to me. “I don't think we should be here.” she lets out, fear enacting her face for a moment.
“No,” my head shakes against my hands. “You shouldn't be here, you should go home and I'll go too. As soon as I find somewhere to eat, consider me there.”
“My God, don't tell me you're going to be stubborn now. We can't be here, it's too dangerous and mostly for you. Adrian and Ryan don't have the best history with Alpha Hayden and you, you're valuable to both Alpha Ryan and that ludicrous brother of mine, that said, let's go.” she counters, her gaze surveying the surroundings again.
“No,” I counter. “I don't want to go back to midnight saints, I'm not wanted there and it's been well established.” I mumble, my gaze drifting to the river.
“Then I'm not going back either, I can't stay without you, you're my best friend Camilla.” she says, joining me on the ground.
I shake my head, not bothering to look at her as I say my next words. “Go home, I'm merely your friend, they're your whole family.”
“Those people I've known my whole life haven't loved me or valued me like you Camilla, you didn't like me because I was Alpha's sister–”
“They don't, they all love you and are obviously waiting for you to go home. You should head back, it's already late.” I whisper, cutting her sentence short.
“Whatever, let them wait. I broke all ties with Adrian.” she counters, her hands attaining a stone on the ground beneath her and twirling it in her hand.
“Belle, you can't don't do this for me. I don't want you to do it, just leave me alone Belle. Just forget you ever met me, I want nothing to do with Adrian anymore, you would do best to go home and I'll go my way.” I say rising to my feet, my hands dust me quickly as my feet carry me away from Belle. I don't relate her to Adrian, they're two distinct, extremely distinct individuals but I also can't have leave her family on a whim, Mirabelle gets more upset over my issues than I do and she overreact sometimes, like now. She claims to have disowned her brother for my sake and I don't want the weight of it on my shoulders.
Mirabelle's footsteps are following behind me, trying to catch my pace but I'm proving to be a little too fast for her, probably because she's been running around searching for me, while I cried here for hours. “Where are you going?” she asks, her tone heavy with exhaustion.
“I don't know, and I don't care.” I sigh, and it's the honest truth. I'm not aware of my next move but also don't want her out this late, should be going home to her brothers right now.
“Fine,” she yelled, making me halt. My back turns away from her, giving her my front as I watch her, awaiting her response. “If you don't want me with you, I will go back to midnight saints but, you have to come with me and get on the next flight or train to Dark moon.”
My head shakes as I turn, walking away once again. That's not happening, I can't go to my brothers in the condition I'm in, I don't need more havoc caused because of me, nor can I stomach any more blame.
“Stop, you're going further into Hayden's territory, you'll get yourself killed.” she snaps firmly.
I roll my eyes, halting all movement once again. A gust of wind washes over me, chilling my bones for a moment as I glare at Mirabelle with confusion.“I don't care if I die but I do if you do so stop it, don't follow me. You shou–”
I'm cut off by the sound of a crow, I've heard a few sounds since it started to get dark but this one is different, the pitch is overly high too. Mira belle jumps, her arms caressing her upper body, “Camilla, I'm seriously getting scared, let's head back.”
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