Camilla's POV continues
******
I'm aroused by someone banging on my door, I reach for my phone. 6:24am. Last night the voices outside my room faded when Racheal came to do maintenance outside, she made everyone go away. Life saver that one.
I cried my heart out until my throat was raw, even when my cries turned to hoarse whimpers, the tears didn't stop. It was my hearts way of bleeding out the pain, I don't know when I slept or how.
A bang and another bang, “Open up, it’s Angel.”
Really? After what she and Adrian did to me she's at my door at six fucking a.m?
I roll out of bed but a bloody pillow catches my attention. I gulp, placing my fingers in my mouth to check damage, there's none.
My tongue healed itself quicker than usual. previously, it would take me at least three days for the sting to stop but now it doesn't hurt and it's only been a few hours.
I twist the key and open the door, Angel stands on the other end, her "just fucked" hair still unfixed, she's dressed in a skimpy white strapless dress, it falls above her knees, with a slit running up to her thigh.
“What do you want?”
She grins, batting her eyelashes at me in an obscure manner. “Hmm, no invite?”
What?
Her hand nudges the door wider, as she makes her way inside my room. Her eyes survey the room, she tsks. “Little baby had a tantrum in here.”
“Get out.” I spit.
She tilts her head and scowls, “Come on, I simply came to check on you.”
All I can think of is snapping her neck but no, it's wrong. I can't.
“You really didn’t think Adrian would leave all this for you did you?” She laughs, “No, no sweetie he would never, he isn’t stupid. I mean just look at me and at you I’m a fine ass bitch and you...You’re just a baby, an annoying little baby that no one wants to play with.”
I squeeze my hands into fists, keeping them to my sides where they won't cause havoc or do anything to degrade me even more. Angel frowns in travesty, “Look kid, I like you and if you weren't trying to get under Adrian every chance you get, we would be great friends. Honestly, I'm amazed you can take him, you don't look like you're built for Adrian's type of-”
“Not built for what? I'm his mate!” I growl.
“Cute that you think that means something, it doesn't. Adrian is mine no matter what happens, and I will stop at nothing to get my point across and keep him. What you saw was nothing, he is mine beyond that and you should take your adorable little girl attitude elsewhere. I’m not threatening you, I am merely warning you, he will always want me.” She takes a pregnant pause, eyeing me up and down.
My fingernails dig deep into my palm, numbing the pain of her words by instigating another pain. Angel's gaze rests on my face, “I give him what you can’t, even if you could you certainly you're not giving it the way I do princess.” The word princess sounds so bitter, filled with venom and hatred, hate for me and what I am to Adrian.
“Please don’t bother yourself with Adrian anymore, that’s my man sis he will just play with you for a little bit then come back to me like he did yesterday. Adrian doesn’t care about you, he cares about me, thinks of me, loves me and craves me not you and I think just by looking in the mirror you Can tell why.”
Her words shoot straight where she aimed at, I blink away the tears and gulp, “You can keep him, I don't want him.”
Angel chuckles strolling towards the door in a backwards motion, her eyes fixed on me, enjoying the tears that fall. “Umm, but you do, you do.”
I close the door the second she leaves.
I hear a familiar voice chuckle, too familiar. “Fucking Bitch!” She screams. I get to my feet and open the door, Mirabelle has her hands digging into Angel's hair. Racheal is holding her feet, they swing Angel towards the wall and let back as she screams, they both let go and send her flying into the wall, I flinch at the impact.
“Stop!” I scream and Racheal frowns. Mirabelle doesn't even look back at me, she goes straight for Angel, slamming her head against the wall violently as Angel tries to fight her off without paining her. I try to intervene but Racheal holds me back, “Come on, this is fun to watch.” She giggles restraining me as Mirabelle and Angel roll on the floor whacking each other, one getting hit more so than the other.
Okay maybe it is fun to watch, I wonder if she'll bleed more if...No, Camilla, bad!
I shake my head to eliminate the thoughts and free myself from Rachael, I grab Mirabelle off Angel and Racheal gasps.
“What are you doing? You can't just beat her up for no reason.”
Mirabelle snickers breathlessly, “Maybe now she will learn her place is at your feet and not in Adrian's bed.”
Angel props up, leaning her hand on the wall for support. “You are lucky you're Adrian's sister, If not, I would have taught you some manners.” She snorts, her eyes shifting between Racheal and Mirabelle.
Racheal laughs, “No, I'm not scared of you Angel, Mirabelle didn't even hit you like you deserve, I would have made you bleed profusely. Make no mistake, I might be pretty but I can end you, you can't take me at my full capability and for your own good, I suggest you leave Camilla alone.”
“What I do to this brat is not your business, it's between me and her.” Angel fires back.
“No, there is nothing between you and her that won't go through us first. You want Adrian? fuck with him not her, or else I will fucking ruin you Angel you hear me? Ruin you!” Mirabelle screams.
The number of people watching has increased and I see Santiago and Adrian approaching the chaos now. Angel snarls at Belle, “Ruin me? What gave you the idea that a spoiled brat like you having a shot at doing anything to me?” She counters.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Adrian growls, his stare piercing Angel then Mirabelle before resting on me. Why did he have to check if she was alright? Angel is right he doesn't care about me, it's her he wants. I let go of Mirabelle's arm and back away, I go to my room, locking the door behind me the minute I enter.
I go to my bathroom, I need a cold shower to calm myself. My heart is thumping so loud the noise it makes is bothersome to me. I strip my clothes off and inhale, taking one deep breath after the other like my therapist Tamina taught me, only its not working.
When my gaze meets a mirror, I lose it. This isn't me, this is exactly what would please Talitha, the anger brewing inside me, the venom ready to pour from my claws, she would love this but she would hate the girl in the mirror as much as I do, she's weak and-
I punch the mirror, my fist collides with the glass, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Wait, that felt good.
Seeing the blood oozing from my knuckles is relaxing, the pain is soothing my heartache. It's all I can focus on, the pain on my knuckles. I hold my arm out as I pick up a piece of the shattered mirror. I bring it to my arm and press the sharp end into my skin, dragging it across my wrist, I watch as the blood gushes out.
I suck in a deep breath and smile to myself. “See, all better, hurting others isn't necessary.” I tell myself, cutting yet another straight line.
This isn't so bad, it's not harming anyone. I'm not being bad, I'm being such a good girl I'm not evil, I'm not like her.
I lean against the bath tub and tug the glass deeper into my skin, a smile spreads across my face when all I see is crimson, it's addicting. I need to see more of it, and feel less and less of the heartache. I need the crimson to numb the pain for me, to make me forget, even if it's just for a few seconds, I need it. I crave it, it's an obsession, an addiction that I've kept to myself because no one will ever understand it or how it makes me feel when my skin is adorned in crimson art.
I tell myself I simply need this one more time, just once more and I will stop. I promise I won't do it again but the deeper I strongly drag the glass into my skin, the more numb my heart feels and the more pain my arm feels. I like it. It's fulfilling, until it's not. I shift my focus to my thigh, placing the glass blade into my skin, I pull it hard in one attempt, blood seeps faster this time but I don't feel a thing, I try again but still, I feel nothing. Annoyed with myself, I hold out my arm once again, dragging the blade on every inch I can get to, I cry out in vain, I feel nothing, my vision is hazing but I'm numb.
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