Camilla's POV
Alphas Hated Mate
Camilla's POV
Two months Later.
Everyday is a battle, one I don't know if I'll ever win.
Every night ends with a wish, I wish for him but at this point I'm not sure I want him. Perhaps I'm foolish but I would give anything to relive the lies he came up with for me. If I could go back in time I wouldn't be Camilla, I would be Tee's bear and maybe then he'd have accepted me as his.
Two months, five days since I last saw Adrian, at first it hurt. I stalked his Instagram and other social accounts but nothing was worth discovering there. I stalked Angel too, I know it's low of me but I just wanted to see him. She posted pictures of him up until a month ago.
Seeing Angel's new hairstyle had me grossed out, I didn't want to have anything to describe in relation to her. Many nights I dreamt of him and other nights I cried for him, crying makes you weak, I shouldn't have cried but I did.
The day he gave me a ride, he called my phone seven times. I didn't pick up his calls. Instead I called Santiago and asked him to tell Adrian to leave me alone.
It didn't work, he called me again that day and I hoped he would, I wanted to think he finally wanted me but everytime I browsed Angel's Instagram, he was there which reminded me he wasn't done with her.
Sometimes I would answer his calls just to hear him again but not once did I speak, I made him think it got answered accidentally. Everytime I hang out with Mirabelle, he'd be lurking around and I would ignore him. He'd attempt to start a conversation with me but I averted it everytime. It's been a month since he stopped calling me, had he given up on me? I didn't care...much.
I went to a birthday party once and he was there, so I left. I ran into the forest, I didn't know I could run that fast but I guess with the motivation to get away from Adrian, anything was possible.
I had successfully lost Adrian, part of me was proud of out running an Alpha and that was the stupid part of me, I knew he didn't have his Wolf with them and I had a head start.
That night I met his Wolf and goddamn it every part of that man is perfect, even his wolf is perfect. Hunter is white with two different color eyes, unlike Adrian's eyes, his were not dark. They shined so bright I was confused for a brief moment. From what I heard, Adrian hadn't been himself completely.
Hunter was shutting him out and wouldn't come out for anything, so you can imagine when I saw his wolf form. Hunter had full control of Adrian, he didn't even let him keep his form. Hunter was patient with me, I spent an hour in the forest before Talitha tracked me down. I left Hunter with sad eyes that made me emotional for the next few days.
I wanted to go back to him but didn't want to be with a man that didn't realise what he had when he had me, he should have loved me but no he couldn't, everytime I looked in the mirror I saw reasons why he didn't want me and I talked to my therapist about it, she told me to stop hating on myself and try to forget him.
The first one I could try, but the second one? That was a dead-end. My love for Adrian isn't something that is ever going away, I can pretend it doesn't exist like I've been doing for the past two months but the truth is, I love Adrian. Yes, the most overused word on all planets, love that's what I feel for him if not more than that.
He is engraved in my mind and in my heart, the way I visualise him in my wet dreams is too realistic. I once woke up with my cum in the inside of my thigh and sometimes, I see him in my room. Simply watching me but when I wake up, he's gone.
Arielle gave birth almost six weeks which meant Michelle also had her baby if not she was due soon. I missed my nephew's birth, I was out on a date with Clifford, we've been seeing each other a lot but we aren't putting a label on it. He has a mate somewhere and when she gets back, he'll be gone.
Cliff is borrowed just like Adrian, but Adrian should have been mine. However, I can't have either of them, but I'm happy I get to keep Cliff and the other guys I've seen these two months as friends, Adrian on the other hand, that's a lost cause. I have moved on in a pretentious type of way but Mirabelle's birthday is in a month, I know for sure I'll be seeing him then because I have to go.
I grab my phone and unlock it, my wallpaper is a picture of Adrian and I asleep in my bed at Midnight Saints. In this picture Adrian is wearing his sweatpants only, I'm cuddled into his bare chest, my hair pulled into a bun and a pout is playing on my lips.
Santiago took the picture, I love it but it saddens me most of the time. Right before the feeling of despair consumes me, my phone is kicked out of my hand by a wiggling foot attached to a crying baby.
“Jacques Liam Burton!” I gasp, turning back to the cute little baby in my arms. For a six week old he sure does act older, sometimes I think he understands me. I place him on the bed and hover over him with a smile, “Jealous?”
He instantly smiles, his toothless smile warms my heart, I love babies and the moment I held my nephew, my heart felt whole. I place a hand on his chest and sigh. “I promise I will delete it, I don't know why I'm keeping it. It's just a picture right? It won't change anything.”
How was I stupid enough to place my heart in the hands of the predator and think he won't eat it? That was the biggest mistake I ever made but the brief moments he held it without breaking it, I wanted more of those. But one thing I know for sure is Adrian is good for my soul but for my heart? He breaks it so easily.
The door of my hotel room opens, it's Arielle. She walks over to us with a smile, “Hey Auntie Milla.”
“Hey.” I grin.
Her eyes flicker to Jacques and she smiles wider. “Hey stinky, hey baby.” She tries to pick him up but he cries, most babies cry for their mom but Jacques? As long as he is comfortable on a soft bed, he will be quiet. He mostly sleeps and eats, the playtime I get with him is by chance but I love it all.
He makes babies seem easy and Arielle makes motherhood look easy too. She looks flawless, better than she looked pregnant. She doesn't complain about sleepless nights, I know she rarely sleeps so I take the baby when she's asleep during the day. I have no problems changing diapers, I've done it a million times because I'm a babysitter.
Arielle feigns a scowl, “Fine. I get it, you’re having fun with Auntie. I'll go ahead and find my other baby so we can go.”
She rises and leaves, we've been away for a week, Ryan had some work to do and he wasn't going to leave Arielle and Jacques alone. I came with them because I wanted to assist with the baby and also because I craved a breather from Therapy sessions with Tamina.
She's due any day now and I can't wait to meet her daughter. Jacques already has a best friend for life, Mina's daughter. She's not here yet but he can sense her, he loves to be near her.
Tee and I have been doing joint sessions a lot, we told Tamina, Tiana was Talitha and she didn't give a reaction she simply nodded. Our relationship is doing great, Tee is getting help and I understand her better than ever. The sight of blood still has us longing for more but only when spiked by anger and we are practising management of the disease, if you want to call it that.
Jacques is falling asleep, I lay next to him and take a picture of us. Saving it as my wallpaper, I also post it on my WhatsApp status, putting an emoji on this face. I caption it.
"You are the love of my life, J.L.B"
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