Camilla's POV continues
*****
It's a short drive to the hospital, by the time we're walking through those doors, my tears have long dried and I've had a bottle of water forced down my throat to replace the tears I shed, according to nurse Belle.
Even though she knows her logic makes no sense nor does she have scientific evidence to support it, she still stands by it.
I've had time to put on my best game face for everyone, nobody is about to see their Alpha cry in Silverline, never.
The nurse at the reception is quick to help me to Karla's room, Belle remains with one of the doctors, making small talk while I proceed to see my darling girl.
I never feel like she's not my baby, Karla is my daughter in every sense but the biological one. Kingston is propped on the chair next to the bed Karla is laying in. A band aid on her and a bandage wrapped around her left arm, I hate the sight of her laying unmoving in bed.
The tears start to threaten once again, but I blink them back, proceeding further into the room, Kingston shifts when he sees me standing on the other side of her. Seeing my little girl like this is very upsetting, this isn't Karla, my Karla doesn't sleep lifelessly.
My Karla runs around the pack house screaming for me, for her aunties, for her daddy, and spreading her contagious giggles everywhere she can. That's not the Karla I see now, even as she sleeps I can tell she's in pain, her dreams probably haunted by what hurt her.
“I couldn't protect her,” I hear King say.
I don't turn to look at him, instead my focus stays on my sleeping angel, my hand caressing her hair gently. “Shut up,” I groan, finally looking up at him. “Don't try to talk down on yourself in front of Karla, if you plan on degrading yourself as a parent then go outside King. Go on, scream, cry, crawl, do whatever you want but don't don't do it in front of her. Just because you weren't there once, doesn't make you a terrible father.”
“It does. I should have protected her, I should have been with her, she's my daughter, my responsibility. I failed her.” he snaps, rising abruptly from his seat.
I nod, throwing my hands up. “In that case we both failed her,” I tell him, walking over to his side. “She's my daughter too, I'm as much responsible for her as you are and I abandoned her. I went chasing after some stupid adrenaline rush leaving her behind, if I had been there, she'd be okay, safe and sound in the comfort of our home.” I sniff, a sob caught in my throat.
Kingston told me being a parent was more than just the fun parts, sometimes it hurts and this is one of those times, feeling like a failure because your child got hurt under your care.
I promised I would look after her, I promised her I'd never let her get hurt, told her I would always be there for her and I wasn't. The one time she needed my protection the most, I couldn't be there, I was riding dick eight hours away from home. I don't think I was meant to be a parent, being good with kids doesn't make you an eligible parent, now I know my decision was for the better. It's good Arielle is taking this baby because I'd fail her in so many ways.
“Hey, don't cry.” Kingston tells me, his hand caressing my arm.
My hands are quick to swipe my face clean of the tears I didn't feel coming. “I am not crying.”
Kingston sighs, taking my hand. “Take a seat here,” he whispers, guiding me to the chair he previously occupied. When I'm settled in it, sobbing he kneels before me, his hand still in mine. “Beautiful, Karla is fine, in a few hours she will be up and tormenting me again. Please stop crying, it is not your fault, you're doing an amazing job as her mom. I don't think I've ever seen my daughter happier than she is now, with you. You are doing so great okay?”
In response, I nod, not fully believing him but I concede his words. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“You're pregnant, I didn't want to stress you or have you crying like you just did, it's not good for the baby.”
“Don't worry about the baby, she's fine” I sniff, blinking back tears.
“Someone has to worry about her, and why not me? She's my only ally, isn't she?”
I laugh subtly, rolling my eyes at the constant insistence of her being the only one on his side. He's attached to her, he'll miss her when she's gone, me too but the decision was already made, and I can't take care of her, I'm a fucking mess, a mother that chose sex over time with her daughter. This baby needs a good mom, one that puts her first, someone mature enough for the long role and Arielle is exactly that.
“Do you want some water?” Kingston interrupts my thoughts, watching my face for a reaction, to which I slightly shake my head, making him sigh. “Well you should go and rest. It's not good for the baby to be this stressed. You look tired, you should go back home and sleep.”
“No thanks, I want to be here when she wakes up. There's no way in hell I'm going home without her, how can I sleep not knowing how she is?”
“Okay then, we'll take her home. I was trying to hide this situation from you for a while until I figured out how to tell you but you know. So I guess I'll take the doctor up on his release form.” he rises.
“But,” I began, looking up at him. “She's unconscious, th-”
“She's been sedated, she couldn't stop crying saying she wanted you and her legs were hurting. The doctors did a scan, she's perfectly fine, don't worry.”
“Okay.” I whisper, my gaze dropping to Karla. I swear to God the day I find out exactly who did this to my daughter, they're going to regret it. Every tear Karla wasted, the probable PTSD she's gotten from the incident, I will pay it back in blood and wrath, more so blood.
“I'm going to get the doctor,” he tells me, leaning over to kiss my forehead before heading out.
I sigh, watching Karla sleep. Counting backwards in my head to kill off all intrusive thoughts, and that one voice that is forever telling me I'll never be good enough for anyone, or anything.
“I'm here if you need me, just seek me.” a tender, childlike familiar voice says. It startles me right off my seat, my hand resting on my chest as I gulp, looking around the room. I'm alone but I can still hear that voice, "seek me" echoing the room. I know that voice but I can't place it with a face at the moment. The voice is fading, "seek me" still audible as I saunter to the door, parking on both sides of it to see if someone is playing a trick on me.
“Camilla, seek me.” I hear it whisper once more, the voice too close yet so far. My hand rests on the door frame, analysing my surroundings.
“Mommy,” I hear Karla call out, just as I'm about to step further outside.
I turn at the sound of her voice, rushing to her bedside, her eyes are filled with tears already. “I'm right here baby, don't worry.” I softly say, placing a kiss on her head. She's awake, that's all I wanted to see.“Are you okay? Does anything hurt my love?”
“The car,” she sobs, “The car it..”
“Shh, I know.” I whisper. “Don't worry about it, you're fine, mommy is here, you're okay.” I assure her, my hand wiping her tears.
“Where is daddy?”
“Let me go and call him for you,” I rush, trying to leave but she cries, making me halt. “Okay, I'm not going anywhere KK, don't worry. I’ll stay by the door and call for him.”
Karla nods, her face full of tears once again. My feet are quick to move, pausing at the door like I promised Karla I would as my eyes search for Kingston. I wish I could use the pack bond on him, but he is still under oath of Takishini, hence we can't form a pack bond.
“Mommy?” Karla sobs, this time it's a pained scream.
“What's wrong, does something hurt? You have to tell me Karla.” I ask, looking back at her now balanced up against the bed now.
Karla whimpers, a familiar panic evident in her wide teary eyes. “I can't get up,”
“I know it hurts sweetie, don't try to get up.” I tell her, caressing her hair, a faint smile on my lips.
Karla shakes her head, more tears gracing her cheeks as she peeks up at me. “I can't move my legs mommy, they're not feeling.”
My smile drops, eyes wide as I stare at Karla. Unable to form words, my gaze shifts to the doorway, Belle and King now standing there with a smile on both their faces. “Oh, what's wrong? Why do you both look like you saw a pink ghost?”
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