Adrian's POV continues
*****
Camilla walks into the lounge with her head held high, this is the one change I've loved about her, ignoring me not so much. She's wearing loose jeans and a pink crop top, I can see right through the material.
I flicker my gaze from her chest to her face, watching her as she carefully chooses where to sit. She settles on the chair opposite me, putting just enough space between us. Her hair is in a mess, half curls and half straightened. The straightened half looks long, it falls past her collar bone, long enough to wrap around my hand. No Adrian, Focus!
I clear my throat, “Mia.”
She peers at me through her ultramarine eyes, the purple shining through today. “Just because I'm here doesn't mean I accept your apology.” She whispers almost to herself.
I nod, I see why she wouldn't forgive me but I just need one chance to show her I've changed.
“Let me show..”
She lets out a snort, “Don't. Stop right there, you don't have to show me anything. You already got your way, don't pretend for me, go on and live your life. I don't know why I made the decision to come back here but there's no going back now.” She runs her tongue over her bottom lip and sucks in a breath, “I won't go away this time, so you can stop pretending and look for your whores.”
“I don't want them Mia, I want you. No one means as much as you do, I was stupid. I made the worst mistake of my life and it cost me you, I'm sorry.”
“Sorry? For which part, the lying, making me feel un-fuckable by fucking every living thing with a vagina but me or maybe you're sorry for lying doing it not so behind my back.” I watch her blankly, she tilts her head to the side and frowns. “Isn't it? Okay, I suppose it was making me feel like I don't deserve you, which I agree but you had no business reminding me that.
You might have not said it, but your actions said way more than that. Should I go on? ”
“No, I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way Mia, if I had any idea-”
She shakes her head, “You would have done nothing so please stop this. And stop sending me flowers, cute lavender scented notes and balloons, I'm getting tired of throwing them out.”
She rises to leave and I shake my head, she's getting it all wrong. She has never been the problem in our relationship, I was but I'm working on myself for her, I can't live without her. This whole thing is new to me. I didn't believe in Mates because some mates ruined my perception of the mate bond. When I met Camilla, I was scared I would fail her. Girls like her don't belong with morally despicable men like me.
I am lucky to have been blessed with her as a mate, I didn't know what to do with that blessing at first and I still don't know what to do, all I know is I want to keep her forever. Forever may not exist but whatever exists, I want it with her.
She's the purest thing my tainted hands have ever had the pleasure of holding and I liked the feeling, I want that again. I already issued a decree that Camilla is now my Luna, she will have her official ceremony which I have already started planning with the help of my mother but that won't be until she turns eighteen.
Nonetheless, she's my Luna and everyone is to respect her and treats her as such, failure to do so will result in punishment. I haven't burdened her with any Luna duties, my mom still handles them and someday it will be Camilla's duty.
For now, I've told everyone with minor issues to come to her for resolve. I didn't have to make a decree because the next day, people were aware of Camilla and I, not just my pack members but everyone in the world knew it. There’s viral videos and photos of me marking her in front of everyone. I don’t regret marking her but I regret the manner in which I did it.
Everyone now knows how pretty my Luna moans but they’ll never get to hear her again because she’s mine and no one will ever have her except me.
Before she gets far enough not to hear me, I speak. “You're wrong, I'm the one that doesn't deserve you but I'm aching to try again.” Camilla halts in her tracks and I rise, “All I'm asking is that you forgive me Mia, I can't take another day without you. I would have been fine in the past or if we're just another girl, but you're not just any girl, you're my girl and this isn't the past, you've changed me Mia.
You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel, you don't judge me for being who I am, you accepted me with all my flaws and I'm sorry I made you feel flawed but truth is, you're perfect to me. I don't even think perfect does you justice Camilla, you're surreal and like Luna Arielle said, I'm an idiot and I fucked up but I'm here now. I just need one chance Mia please.” I plead, my tone broken and distraught because I am. I need her to give us another chance.
Camilla turns, “Really?” She folds her hands over her chest. “Is this it, you're done? Because I don't have it in me to try again and again, I can't keep forgiving you every time. But-”
There's a but? That's all I need, I take a deep breath and say a little prayer as she takes her two steps closer to me, filling me with hope. Or maybe she's going to crush my hopes and wants a closer view, I can never read Camilla correctly. Her eyes are devoid of the love and affection she'd look at me, they're more blank right now. “But, I can forgive you one last time so come back to me when you've done more cheatin.. Hmm it's not cheating, we're not together but yeah, crush my spirit a little more and I'll forgive you then.”
Does she think I want to hurt her? I've never purposely hurt Camilla and I hate myself for every ounce of pain I caused her. When I found her lifeless body in puddles of blood, I felt my soul leave my body. Everything went bleak and all I could see was her, I felt guilty for her situation and when Rachael blamed me, she was simply affirming my suspicions.
I have always ruined everything and I was ruining her too, I didn't want to ruin Camilla, she is the only pure thing I have and I want to keep her that way. I love the innocence and peace she carries within her, my demons are drawn to it, they crave that solace so dangerously, she was almost consumed into the darkness, my darkness. A darkness that I will never let her see, that part of her is too precious.
“Have dinner with me tonight.” I told her.
“No thanks, I already have a date for tonight but I forgive you Adrian. Everyone knows what a fool I am when it comes to you. I have a high IQ but it means nothing when it comes to you. It's like you are a walking red flag and I'm colorblind.” She giggles. Her laughter makes me relax, it's music to my ears and I'm addicted to the song. “People always think they can walk over me and I'll take it, which I will but this thing.” She gestures between us, “This is the last time I'm doing this. You say you want me and not Angel or the others? Fine. But know this, you've depleted your forgiveness data packages with me, you had one MB left and I'm giving it to you now. However you decide to use it is fine, I won't judge you nor will I want to blame you. You're not a saint and I'm not one either despite your perception of me, thus I know mistakes are essential so there will be no judgement whatsoever concerning what you stick your dick in. However, I will leave.”
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