Chapter 202
The pack hall was thick with tension, and it clung to me like a suffocating cloak. As I walked through the room, the pack members' eyes followed me, harboring a mix of curiosity and resentment. Whispers snaked through the air like poisonous vines, and every step felt like a march of judgment. I don't know why this bothered me so much, it's not like I wanted them to like me or something.
Ella, the only one who'd ever shown me a glimmer of kindness, stood near the entrance. Her usually warm eyes were replaced by cold skepticism. I approached her, trying to maintain my composure despite the hostile atmosphere.
"Hey, Ella," I greeted, my voice steady despite the storm brewing around me. I hoped that maybe she wouldn't be so angry with me but boy was I wrong. Everyone hated me right now.
She shot me a look, her expression a blend of disappointment and frustration. "Save it, Iris. I've had enough of your secrets and your closed-off attitude. The pack needs a Luna who's transparent, who they can trust. If you keep this up, you'll never be accepted."
I scoffed, though a pang of guilt echoed within me. "Trust is overrated."
Ella's eyes narrowed, and her tone turned harsh. "Not in a pack, it's not. You're walking on thin ice, Iris. The pack needs a leader they can believe in, not a mystery wrapped in bad attitude."
She turned away, leaving me with the weight of her words sinking into my bones. I continued through the hall, feeling the cold reception from the pack. Hostility dripped from their glares, and the air crackled with unspoken accusations. Their disdain was palpable, and I couldn't shake the nagging realization that I was isolating myself in a place where unity should be paramount.
Roman's gaze met mine, a mix of concern and frustration etched on his face. He'd expected me to open up, to share the truths I guarded so fiercely. But he failed to see that my past was a labyrinth of shadows I couldn't navigate, let alone unravel for others.
As I walked past a group of pack members, their hushed conversation halted abruptly. Their eyes burned into me, questioning and condemning. It was clear they believed my secrecy was a sign of deception. My defiance had painted a target on my back, and they weren't shy about displaying their displeasure.
The pack hall became a battlefield of glares, whispers, and palpable resentment. I couldn't help but wonder if, by trying to protect myself, I'd become the enemy within. The pack needed transparency, yet I clung to the shadows, unknowingly pushing them away.
I approached the exit, my shoulders heavy with the weight of their collective animosity. The air was thick with tension, but beneath it, a fire of defiance burned within me. I wouldn't surrender my guarded truths, not even for the sake of their acceptance.
As I stepped out into the moonlit night, the chill mirrored the frostiness I felt from the pack. I was a lone wolf in their midst, and whether that isolation was self-imposed or a consequence of their judgments, only time would unveil.
The air in the laundry room hung heavy with the scent of detergent and fabric softener. Ella, her expression softened from the earlier confrontation,she threw a pile of clothes onto the table, offering me an unspoken invitation to help her sort through them. The steady hum of the old rusty washing machines provided a backdrop to our conversation.
"Okay, spill it," Ella said, giving me a curious look.
I sighed, realizing that maybe sharing a fragment of my past wouldn't hurt. "You asked about my past. Well, there was someone. A man I loved deeply. But I messed up, and he chose someone else. A human named Lucy.What hurts the most is that he never even tried to forgive me...not even once."
Ella paused, folding a shirt slowly. "Sounds rough. Love can be a real mess sometimes."
"Yeah," I admitted, my eyes tracing the patterns on the table. "I never forgave him for choosing her over what we had. It broke me. I don't know what to do with all this hurt."
Ella shot me a sympathetic look. "It's a tough pill to swallow. But holding onto that bitterness won't help you move forward."
"I can't just forget. Lucy's face is etched into my memory, a constant reminder of what I lost."
Ella nodded, her gaze understanding. "You're in a new pack now, Iris. You've got Roman, your destined mate. Maybe it's time to let go of the past and give this a chance."
I clenched my jaw, the idea of opening up to Roman like an unfamiliar taste. "I can't just pretend my past didn't happen. It's a part of who I am and I still care about him you know that's even more tragic. It makes me want to hurt him so bad."
"Your past is a part of who you are.That might be true, but it shouldn't define you," Ella pointed out, her tone gentle but firm. "Roman's different. Give him a chance, Iris. You might be surprised."
I glanced at Ella, searching her eyes for understanding. "It's not that simple. I don't know if I can let go of the bitterness."
Ella sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Revenge and bitterness won't fill the void. Trust me, I've been there. It only eats away at you. Roman cares about you. Don't let your past ruin what could be a chance at happiness."
I nodded "you should consider being a therapist." I smiled at Ella.
She laughed "if only the world wasn't so fucked up"
As we continued sorting through the laundry, the weight of Ella's words lingered in the room. A battle waged within me – the pull of revenge versus the possibility of something new. The scent of fabric softener mixed with the memories of a love lost, and I couldn't help but wonder if moving forward meant leaving a piece of myself behind.
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