Chapter 38
The smell of smoke and blood filled the air as Alpha Jeremiah and I rode back to his pack. My heart was pounding in my chest, dread clinging to every breath I took. The pack had been attacked again. The very place I was supposed to help protect, where I was meant to serve as Luna. And yet, I had failed them. Worse than that—his family had paid the price.
I wanted to turn back, but I couldn’t. This was my duty, my responsibility. I knew I had to face the consequences of my actions, but the fear of seeing Alpha Jeremiah's cold, unforgiving eyes made me sick to my stomach.
As we neared the pack's land, the scene of destruction was overwhelming. Homes lay in ruins, blood staining the ground. People were crying and scrambling to tend to the injured. The chaos was unimaginable, and guilt pressed down on my chest, making it hard to breathe. How could this have happened again?
Jeremiah jumped off his horse and barked orders to his warriors. "Secure the perimeter! Check the borders. I want every inch of our territory combed for any signs of further attacks." His voice was cold and commanding, but it was his expression that terrified me the most. The usual spark in his eyes was gone, replaced by a deep, icy hatred.
I dismounted my horse and tried to keep my distance. I could feel his anger radiating off him in waves. But I couldn't just stand there. I had to help. I had to do something.
I spotted a group of injured wolves being tended to near the packhouse and rushed over. Blood soaked through the bandages hastily wrapped around their wounds, and one of them, a young girl, whimpered in pain. Without thinking, I knelt beside her, doing my best to soothe her.
"It's okay," I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady. "You're safe now. We'll take care of you." My hands shook as I wiped the blood from her skin, but my heart ached as I watched her struggle to breathe.
A commotion behind me caused me to turn. That's when I saw them. Jeremiah's grandmother was being carried into the packhouse, her body limp and covered in blood. His aunt followed shortly after, but she wasn’t breathing. My blood ran cold.
I stood frozen, unable to move as I watched Jeremiah rush over to his grandmother. His strong hands shook as he checked her pulse, and a guttural roar escaped him when he realized his aunt was gone. Dead. Because of me.
I couldn’t stay still anymore. I ran toward them, my body numb, my mind in a state of disbelief. "Jeremiah!" I called out, desperate for him to listen to me.
His head snapped up, and when his eyes met mine, I wished I hadn’t spoken. The hatred I saw there—it pierced right through me.
"Don't. Say. A word." His voice was so low and dangerous that I could barely hear him over the sounds of the pack trying to recover. He stood slowly, every muscle in his body tight with anger. He didn't even bother hiding the fury etched into his face. "Do you realize what you’ve done, Astrid?"
I opened my mouth to speak, to explain, but the words died in my throat. My hands shook as I tried to step closer. "I-I just wanted to help. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt—"
"You wanted to help?" His tone was venomous. "By defying me, you put my entire pack in danger! You put my family in danger! My aunt is dead, Astrid. DEAD. And my grandmother—" He stopped, his voice breaking for a second before his rage returned tenfold. "She might not make it."
Tears filled my eyes as I watched him glare at me. "I’m so sorry, Jeremiah. I never meant for this to happen. I only wanted to—"
"To what? Play hero?" He scoffed, his lip curling in disgust. "You should have stayed like I told you. But you never listen, do you? You always think you know better."
I shook my head, my tears spilling over. "I wanted to protect them. To help the pack, like a Luna should."
"A Luna doesn’t defy her Alpha!" he snapped. His hands clenched into fists as he stepped closer, his towering figure casting a shadow over me. "You left, Astrid. You left and ran to your father's territory like a coward. If you hadn’t run off, if you hadn’t gotten involved, none of this would have happened!"
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I staggered back, my heart breaking with each syllable. "I didn’t mean to cause this—"
"You did." His voice was ice-cold. "You caused this. And now, my family is suffering because of your selfishness." He turned away from me, his shoulders tense as he spoke. "You’ve only brought trouble since the moment you came here."
The pain in my chest felt unbearable, but I forced myself to keep talking, to make him understand. "Jeremiah, please—"
"Save it," he said through gritted teeth, cutting me off. "Save your apologies, your excuses. I don’t care anymore."
I reached out to him, desperate to bridge the gap between us, but he swatted my hand away like I was nothing. "I’m sorry," I whispered, the words choking me. "I’m so, so sorry."
For a moment, I thought I saw something flicker in his eyes—something softer, something human. But just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished, replaced by a stony, indifferent mask. He looked down at me, his expression unreadable.
"You’re right about one thing, Astrid," he said quietly, his voice hollow. "You are my Luna. But that’s the only reason I haven’t banished you from this pack."
His words left me feeling cold and empty inside. I wanted to say more, to explain, but I knew it wouldn’t matter. He wasn’t listening. Not anymore.
Without another word, Jeremiah turned and walked away, leaving me standing alone in the blood-soaked courtyard. The weight of his rejection pressed down on me, and for the first time since I had arrived in his pack, I felt completely and utterly lost.
I didn’t belong here. I never did.
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